calpendragon
11-17-2015, 09:12 AM
The Steins Gate Effect
i've always said that i wouldn't want to change anything in my past. That if i could do everything all over again i would.
after witnessing a time loop and seeing a protagonist emerge victorious, i start to wonder what would happen if i did not confess my love to you.
that fateful day when i couldn't breathe. I was staring out my wooden window and trying to convince my self that it's the right thing to do.
you were lying in my bed, i gather all my courage to ask you, "when can i start calling you my girlfriend?"
"right now," you whispered.
I couldn't believe what fate has done in my life that day. Everything fell into place and I didn't care about anything else in the world so long as you are beside me.
I was ruined that day. I left all my goals for myself, my dreams of corporate success and accumulating wealth. My dreams of serving the country and humanity vanished. You were the only thing that mattered to me.
Now maybe, if i could change something in my life. I would have chosen not to have uttered those words. Forever swimming in the ocean of unrequited love and gray friendzones.
It's been six years and somehow triggers still pop up and bring me to question my life. I am the worst version of myself yet I manage to convince the world I am at my best.
This fake paradox of a man is your doing. This rotten shell that houses my soul is birthed from a series of mistakes I was willing to do in the name of love. How selfish i was to think I was selfless.
Steins Gate, because it doesn't really mean anything in the first place.
i've always said that i wouldn't want to change anything in my past. That if i could do everything all over again i would.
after witnessing a time loop and seeing a protagonist emerge victorious, i start to wonder what would happen if i did not confess my love to you.
that fateful day when i couldn't breathe. I was staring out my wooden window and trying to convince my self that it's the right thing to do.
you were lying in my bed, i gather all my courage to ask you, "when can i start calling you my girlfriend?"
"right now," you whispered.
I couldn't believe what fate has done in my life that day. Everything fell into place and I didn't care about anything else in the world so long as you are beside me.
I was ruined that day. I left all my goals for myself, my dreams of corporate success and accumulating wealth. My dreams of serving the country and humanity vanished. You were the only thing that mattered to me.
Now maybe, if i could change something in my life. I would have chosen not to have uttered those words. Forever swimming in the ocean of unrequited love and gray friendzones.
It's been six years and somehow triggers still pop up and bring me to question my life. I am the worst version of myself yet I manage to convince the world I am at my best.
This fake paradox of a man is your doing. This rotten shell that houses my soul is birthed from a series of mistakes I was willing to do in the name of love. How selfish i was to think I was selfless.
Steins Gate, because it doesn't really mean anything in the first place.