Circles of Tracks

[Wes Corona]

CIRCLES OF TRACKS

Bought an old Lionel,
And took it home.
Put it on some track.
In a wink, it took me back.
Suddenly, it was 1954,
I was 8 years old,
And a kid once more.

The tracks of my life,
Have oft lead to strife.
Now the tracks just go ‘round,
And the trains do too,
Life for me, has begun anew.
My frame may be old,
With a loose wheel or two.
My trains keep me sharp,
And my mind, on cue.

My toy trains,
Are without destination,
They run in loops,
With no hesitation.
They start and end,
In the very same place,
They run the circle,
In an endless race.

I don’t know how,
And I don’t know why,
I do know this,
That I have to try.

[tailor STATELY]

Fun. Took me back: Train set atop of grandmother's baby grand/Seattle/way too long ago.

Enjoying your offerings.

Ta ! (short for tarradiddle),
tailor STATELY

[Dreamwoven]

This is nice! I love music or verse that goes round in circles. The theme tune of The Thomas Crown Affair from the 1960s with Fay Dunaway and Steve McQueen is one for me "Windmills of your mind" (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vB76C3IQ0eQ).

[Wes Corona]

This is nice! I love music or verse that goes round in circles. The theme tune of The Thomas Crown Affair from the 1960s with Fay Dunaway and Steve McQueen is one for me "Windmills of your mind" (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vB76C3IQ0eQ).

I agree, "Windmills" is a favorite of mine. I think they subsequently removed it from the soundtrack. In recent viewings, the melody is not apparent in the background as it once was. If you enjoy circles, listen to the Tom Rush version of "The Circle Game" I think it's the best ever.

[Dreamwoven]

Yes thats another one, the Joni Mitchell version of the Circle Game also shows the words on-screen.

[Lokasenna]

I liked this a lot - there's some excellent imagery, and I find the general concept very appealing.

Just two things jumped out as slightly out of place, and somewhat threw me off. The first is the archaism 'oft' in the second line of the second stanza, which felt like it broke the easy, almost conversational, flow of your poetry.

The second thing that caused me to pause was that final stanza - the first two lines are superb, but the last line feels like you're stretching for a rhyme, and strikes a rather bathetic final note for what is otherwise a very compelling and successful poem.

[Wes Corona]

I liked this a lot - there's some excellent imagery, and I find the general concept very appealing.

Just two things jumped out as slightly out of place, and somewhat threw me off. The first is the archaism 'oft' in the second line of the second stanza, which felt like it broke the easy, almost conversational, flow of your poetry.

The second thing that caused me to pause was that final stanza - the first two lines are superb, but the last line feels like you're stretching for a rhyme, and strikes a rather bathetic final note for what is otherwise a very compelling and successful poem.

Yes, it is awkward, at best. I think it may have been dumped here because I was on to something else, and needed a home for it. I actually believe that it was an initial prelude to something new, and had not been honed, as it were, at this time. I think, I'll just remove it for now. I wish not to cause consternation.