The "Next sentence.." Game

[Tyrion Cheddar]

And so it was that our narrator learned that even as a wraith, one can puke one's...well, not guts, but whatever the ghostly equivalent of guts are. Out, I mean. Puke them out.

[Sancho]

Sylvia's husband eyed Bernard suspiciously and said, "got any salmonberries in thet thar basket, sonny? I don't go fer no gooseberries. I'm a salmonberry man."

[Tyrion Cheddar]

As original narrator I feel it my duty to point out that, at this point, unless there's some raping and pillaging that would make a Viking landing party proud, not to mention some bestiality and hard drug use, this story is pretty much done. Stick a fork in, feed it to the great horny toad eyeing you from the garden.

Let's begin again...

Nothing.

[YesNo]

With so much to do today and such a fine morning except for the icy fingers on his ribs, Niall needed some motivation and so went to The Ole Pillagin' Pub to get a pint of Loch Shiel's own Rape Yo Mind Chocolate Stout.

[Sancho]

Niall was looking forward to a good old-fashioned mind raping, being as the the love of his life, a Rottweiler named Fluffy, had died that morning.

[Tyrion Cheddar]

Having found the kind of love and unhindered sexual release with Fluffy that he'd long sought but never found with human females...Wait, wait, STOP. We're doing it again. Three lines into this thing and it's boozing and bestiality. Let's try again. Think modern, and serious. Think cyberpunk. Think William Gibson.

Nothing.

[Sancho]

He patted his pocket, ensuring the drive was ensconced there still and then reconsidered the sky - ya know, thought he, it's more the color of a television screen tuned to a dead station.

[Tyrion Cheddar]

One side of the narrator's mouth curled up in a wry smile. I like you, Sancho, he thought. Always have.

Nothing.

[Sancho]

But Niall was horribly mistaken - the courier was neither vain nor poorly disciplined - the courier, as it turned out, was an ill-tempered Canadian:

http://i971.photobucket.com/albums/ae197/mollyandbruno/f44024f648b5e172413d3d84205c11b4_zpsp69pymey.jpg

[Tyrion Cheddar]

If you think I'm taking this suave, atmospheric story in the direction of a mad goose and the poor schlub it decided to make minced meat out of, you're sorely mistaken, my son. We're gonna stick to the script if it impairs our ability to wear pants.

<clears throat>

Nothing.

[YesNo]

Niall locked his computer, stood up in his cubicle, and quietly walked to the bathroom.

[Sancho]

Something had to be done about the Canadian, and Niall needed a place to think.

[Sancho]

The Canadian, you see, was dangerous because he had big ideas; the Canadian cared little for bits, bytes and bandwidth; the Canadian considered cyberspace a place for losers and has-beens; the Canadian wanted more - the Canadian wanted Revolution!

[Tyrion Cheddar]

The Canadian wanted beer and donuts. That's all Canadians ever want. Now it appears I have to get you lads back on track. Again...<sigh, eyeroll>

Nothing.

[Sancho]

The ill-tempered Canadian was non-plussed at the narrator for flattening his character into a Bob-and-Doug-Mckenzie meme, and also the ill-tempered-non-plussed Canadian can't help but to note that the narrator used 9 sentences in a NEXT SENTENCE GAME.

[YesNo]

But then the ill-tempered Canadian looked up at the sky, a clear, beautiful, sky-is-blue kind of sky and saw, what he could only interpret as a significant sign, a flock of geese come out of an alien dimension.

[Sancho]

The Canadian, in an unusually good mood, looked towards the gray sky and smiled broadly, or perhaps - smugly.

[YesNo]

And the gray sky, happy, but growing cloudy, smiled back.

[Sancho]

The formerly ill-tempered-now-exuberant Canadian contemplated the blue-gray sky and resolved, as the indigenous peoples of the plains are known to do, that - this will be a good day to die.

[YesNo]

And then the heard, or thought he heard, the good sky say, "Live, for the story isn't finished," but that may have just those geese.

[Sancho]

And so while the Canadian reconsidered his options under partly to mostly cloudy skies, Niall unbunched his panties, quietly returned to his cubicle, sat down, and opened his computer.

[YesNo]

Niall went back to finishing the critical procedure needed for his company's secret project code-named, Goose Virus.

[Sancho]

Meanwhile the ill-tempered Canadian looked out upon the alluvial plain with growing alarm as hundreds of thousands of water fowl began to arrive.

[YesNo]

He figured he didn't bring enough bread crumbs to feed all of them.

[Sancho]

The sun was blotted from the sky and in short order the Canadian was knee deep in guano.

[Sancho]

With the water-fowl population increasing at an exponential that would have impressed The Reverend Malthus, and the bird-poo level on the alluvial plain rising faster than Al Gore's sea-level calculations, the Canadian became concerned for the well-being of the narrator - and so he got down on his hands and knees and started fishing around in the guano for Tyrion Cheddar: "Ty-Ched'," said he, "You all up in there?"

[YesNo]

And the Canadian could not understand why the water-fowl waited to relieve themselves just over his head.

[Sancho]

He couldn't dwell on the gastrointestinal habits of our feathered friends for long, though, so he went back under, looking for the narrator - "T.C.? Where you at?"

[YesNo]

Somewhere deep until tons of guano one could barely make out a cry for help that went something like this, "Help! Help!"

[Danik 2016]

But suddenly, a powerfull voice coming from nowhere shouted terribly over the plane: "Don´t look further! The man you´re looking for has been abducted."

[YesNo]

And just then the Canadian looked up and saw a flock of geese enter an alien dimension.

[Danik 2016]

The bodyless voice continued:"We have been deprived of our gooseberries and we want a big ransom to bring the narrator back."

[Sancho]

But the voice was weakening and starting to breakup, like Netflix on a dsl connection.

[Danik 2016]

But in that moment a gigantic green box richly ornamented with rose coloured violets fell from the sky overtoppling the Canadian who sunk head first into the mire.

[Sancho]

"Mumphregrumphr!" Said the ill-tempered Canadian.

[YesNo]

As he wiped the guano from his face he contemplated the meaning of existence until he saw the birds making their way back to his location.

[Danik 2016]

Meanwhile the gigantic box was attracting some attention from the passers by.

[YesNo]

"What could be in it?" wondered some although the noise coming from the box made others wonder why they were sticking around to find out.

[Danik 2016]

But more and more people gathered around the box observing its curious shaking movements.

[Sancho]

And there on the vast alluvial plain, with hundreds of thousands of water fowl arriving, countless curious onlookers gathering, and a single ill-tempered Canadian disgustedly swishing with Listerine, the gigantic green box richly ornamented with rose colored violets burst open and out stepped a magnificent, jewel-encrusted, implausibly gigantic armadillo. Go figure.

[YesNo]

"What year is it?" asked the giant armadillo.

[Danik 2016]

The crowd was still staring in amazement, when suddenly a woman planted herself in front of the stately creature and asked indignantly:"Where have you been all this time?"

[YesNo]

"Martha!" the creature said with tears in his eyes.

[Danik 2016]

But brandishing her gigantic broom, buxom Martha was in no way amenable;" We´re going home at once!", she said.

[Sancho]

And off they went, leaving behind them several hundred thousand migratory water fowl and one very pissed-off Canadian.

[YesNo]

As the Canadian shooed birds off of his head and arms only to find new fowl try to land and occupy parts of his body, he realized that all this activity was making him hungry.

[Danik 2016]

Hungry and angry! For here he was fighting off petty birds, while the great Revolution was waiting for him somewhere!:mad5:

[Sancho]

Something needs to be done and it needs to be done right away,thought the ill-tempered Canadian, but he couldn't for the life of him think of what it was that needed doing, so he just wandered off in the general direction of the gigantic jewel-encrusted armadillo and Martha.

[Pendragon]

Wondering and wandering made him bypass Martha and the Armadillo without even speaking, right before he fell into a hidden crevice.

[YesNo]

Martha and the Armadillo heard him fall and called down the deep crevice, "Are you alright?"

[Sancho]

"Mumphregrumphr!" Screamed the ill-tempered Canadian.*




*He's having a bad day.

[Danik 2016]

Being a practical though angry woman Martha instantly called the fire brigade, the police, the lifebuoy (not the soap)the army, the lord mayor and the postman. In less than five minutes they all arrived frightening away the lingering birds with their noise.

[YesNo]

With the birds gone, the ill-tempered Canadian didn't mind being rescued from the crevice.

[Danik 2016]

While the Canadian was being rescued, another character appeared upon the scene: protagonist Niall, who was in a deep existencial crisis, because everybody had forgotten everything about him.

[Sancho]

Martha, the giant armadillo, and the ill-tempered Canadian (who'd just been rescued from his predicament and was standing next to the other two) turned to watch Niall during his crisis of being, just to see what one of those looked like.

[YesNo]

Just to make sure Niall got full benefit of whatever existential crisis he was going through at the moment, the ill-tempered Canadian remarked, "Hey, Niall, most people never get over their existential crises."

[Danik 2016]

And they not only saw but they stared:Niall was subjected to fits of disapearances. When talked to as just now he was fully visible, but when forgotten his contours got dimmer and dimmer until he became totally invisible.

[Pendragon]

Meanwhile the Armadillo was dreaming of a fine recipe for liver and fava beans with a nice Chianti...

[YesNo]

Seeing Niall appear and disappear made the ill-tempered Canadian think there might be more wrong with him than an existential crisis which made the Canadian think that perhaps the Armadillo was right about those fava beans.

[Sancho]

Niall's voice was weak and barely readable, like a PRC-77 Fox-Mike radio transmitting from slightly beyond its usable range; said he: "Ma'am, Sir, strange creature with lots of bling-bling, I am having an existential crisis because I have begun to question the existence of my creator. He once was here, but now he's gone, and therefore I am beginning to question my own existence. Have any of you seen him? He was obsessed with facial symmetry." Then he added in a 5 by 5 transmission, "Hey! Are those fava beans?"

[Danik 2016]

The fact was that, as soon as he hear the magic word "beans", Niall, beaming at the prospect of a dish of rice and beans with a suculent stake and fried eggs + vine and dessert, became very visible, audible and readable. He went on informing that the police, having called in the Scotland Yard(the narrator obsessed with facial symmetry had disapeared in Scotland),had found some very suspicious evidence.

[Sancho]

Martha studied the problem for a moment and then announced, "Guys, guys, guys! I've got it! Ya know what goes well with fava beans?"

http://i971.photobucket.com/albums/ae197/mollyandbruno/3ae25191728d6b1248a2f86be731e507_zps1g9hjhwk.jpg

"Milk."

[YesNo]

And so it happened the narrator, a peculiarly private individual, achieved fame.

[Danik 2016]

The milkpackages with his avatar where distributed all over the five continents until one of them reached Prinzess Honkine of the 4th Dimension.

[Sancho]

The princess then immediately, through telepathy, beckoned the four souls on the alluvial plain to - forthwith come hither!

[YesNo]

"Oh winds of the four souls who guide the lost across the alluvial plains prithee have ye seen the fair creature who graces this milk carton?" asked the princess.

[Danik 2016]

But the winds only moaned woefully over the planes!

[YesNo]

That's what the princess figured, but she didn't give up her search, because she didn't have anything else to do at the moment.

[Danik 2016]

Shadow narrator nr 20021 began to feel out of resources inasmuch as the other characters also started to suffer from fits of disapearance.

[Sancho]

Niall listened intently to the wind for a moment and proclaimed, "Raison d'être! Follow me, friends," and then he took off at a slow trot into west by southwest wind.

[YesNo]

As Niall went into the west by southwest wind, if you looked close, you could see a flock of geese following him, and it you looked even closer, an alien dimension was following them.

[Danik 2016]

Suddenly, as they all went allong Niall exclaimed "Gooseberries!" Humans and geese, alliens and not aliens feasted on them and prevident Martha even filled her bag for dinner, when...

[Sancho]

...the Canadian pointed to the south, directing everybody's attention, and shouted, "BEAR...BIG BEAR...REALLY BIG BEAR...COMING OUR WAY."

[Danik 2016]

But in fact, the big bear was feeling very lonely and all he wanted was a bit of allien company and a meal of gooseberries because he was a real vegetarian.

[Pendragon]

Who was this mysterious angry Canadian with a temper almost feral in its intensity? There were those who said his name was Logan, and he was over 100 years old, despite not looking a day over 30...

[YesNo]

The Canadian looked closely at the bear as it came nearer and asked, "Freddie? Is that you?"

[Sancho]

"Jeffrey?" Replied the bear.

[Danik 2016]

Und he bowed respectfully.

[Sancho]

Niall watched the shameless display of man-bear affection and impatiently said, "people, people, we're on a quest, let's make haste, everybody follow me, Aaarrhh!" And then he took off at a dead run across the plain...alone.

[YesNo]

As Martha watched Niall run off she yelled, "Wait, Niall! I can hook you up with my sister!"

[Danik 2016]

I should like to remind whom it may concern that I am always very very carefull what I post in this forum, bearing in mind that it is open for children too. Therefore I didn´t like the remark "shameless display of man-bear affection" applied to my post. "Shamelessness" when there is any, which is not the case in this scene, is always a human predicment.

[YesNo]

I didn't read the word "shameless" as anything more than humorous exaggeration. It is also kind of odd to hear a bear talk, so I probably started it. I have heard people say to a couple, especially if they are older, who give each other a quick, affectionate kiss in public to "get a room". That does not mean they were doing anything inappropriate. It was just a form of humorous exaggeration. Come to think of it, I am amazed how often I see Europeans in movies give each other a kiss on the cheek in public as a form of greeting. The most I would feel comfortable doing is shake another person's hand.

[Danik 2016]

Dear Yes/ No,
You didn´t use the description and you certainly didn´t start anything.The bear was talking yes and that was humorous as most things we said in this game.
Maybe I am exagerating because I am not native in English, but the word "shameless" in this context has a disagreable ring for me.

[Sancho]

Whooeee! Danik, you got a dirty mind!

Joking-joking. I mean it's not like I said, "A shocking display of bestial homoerotic man-bear love.

But there's something to that "ring" you hear. I did intend that sentence to give an echo of inappropriateness, and maybe not even an echo but just a faint bat-squeak.. You see, the "shameless" comment is coming from the perspective of Niall, who I see as a bit of prude, so he's going to be slightly uncomfortable with Jeffrey and Freddie hugging. Additionally he's anxious to be on his way. Then there's the ill-tempered Canadian, who I see as a proto tough-guy, which is why I gave him a name better suited for a recalcitrant child : Jeffrey. Funny, huh? Weee-doggie, I'm cracking myself up.

Anyway, it's all in good fun. No offense intended, my friend. By the way, what is your first language. I'm envious. I only have American English and bad restaurant-Spanish.

[Danik 2016]

*****

[Danik 2016]

Vixe, Sancho! You seem to be the kind of doctor that cures his patients by cutting their throats.
"No offense intended" but now you are offending in a public post: "Danik, you got a dirty mind!"
I demand an apology! I can´t simply put that down to male akwardness.
We have to respect each other rights and limits on this multicultural forum.
And, as you asked me, my native language is Portuguese.
"shameless"="sem vergonha" = sin verguenza in Spanish. You may have come across it in Cervantes, an author you seem to like.

[Sancho]

por favor aceite minhas desculpas, Danik.

[Danik 2016]

Ok, Sancho, apology in Portuguese accepted. I'm now going to edit my thread, so that the story may have its sequel. Hugging bears from me no more on LitNet, even if it is a thread about children books from A. Milne!

[Sancho]

"Bom!" Said Freddie. "But enough of this pseudo-Sino bowing jazz, Jeffery, give your friend a good old-fashioned, non-homoerotic, bear hug, then let's go to a hockey game, then let's get knee-crawling drunk and have a puke-through-the-nose-for-volume-and-distance contest, and then let's go down to the river and shoot some salmon." And so they did...and Martha came along just for grins.