Steven L'Ecuyer
09-25-2015, 09:33 PM
An excerpt from the introductory chapter to a story I'm writing *about a chemist who synthesizes a drug that personifies itself in his psyche, taking him on a surrealistic adventure across alternate dimensions as he seeks the answers to life's biggest questions. I've never written a story before, mostly prose and poems. I'm looking for general feedback. Thank you :)
"Cipher"
***"What is the point of life?" Dr. Parota queried the stone-faced board of investors. His black and gray mop atop his noggin set freely, strategically combed out the center to stay out of his defined facial features. Suble movements of his body, as he went on with his pitch, gave way to a chain reaction, sending his hair flaying about in a neatly, randomized manner. "It's a question we've all asked ourselves at some point in time," he said, with utmost conviction as his commanding gaze pierced through his thick, yet stylish, black-framed glasses. His scarlet bow tie contrasted perfectly riddled with the absolute white polka-dots varying in sizes. Today was the day which would change his - and potentially the world population's - life forever.
*
****"You see, ladies and gentlemen, I believe I have the ability to synthesize a chemical which can give us answers to the questions we, as a self-aware species, have been asking ourselves for thousands of years!" Dr. Parota proclaimed. Eyes of the faceless investors rolled in unison. He knew most would scoff at his pitch, arguing there was nothing proprietary about what was essentially a mind-altering drug. His main goal was to target the hearts of those whom of which had a tinge of hope. If he could just plant a seed into his targets, they would not be making a proprietary investment, but the philisophical return was immense beyond any realm of possibility. He needed to target the wonderers, the dreamers, the investors whom had the ability to observe the bigger picture. He predetermined it would be a daunting task to create an emotional investment, but this was no ordinary investment after all.
*
****"Answers to the historical battle between fate and freewill, intelligent design, evolution, the source of the Big Bang, and the infamous blueprints for life itself," he paused theatrically, "DNA." Dr. Parota shot a wink at his esteemed assistant Monira Magdory. Her beautiful face was dulled by her drab choice of fashion- a plain black, double-breasted suit with a white blouse with frills which lied flat against her chest. Her minimal makeup, and plain brown hair, hardly noticable to anyone of importance. Dr. Parota hadn't fussed about it, after all, he was the center of attention tonight. He was ever thankful for her minor in public speaking. She was the mastermind behind his pitch.
She returned a warm smile, reacting to his wink, and tried not to blush as much of the room focused on where his wink was aimed. He continued, "The Law of attraction and how it coalesces with intent and consciousness as a way to create alternative realities. How quantum physics ALREADY offer a plethora of evidence for both destiny and choice. I believe I can find a synthesizer which can activate neurons within our minds and give us access to data untapped by mankind. A sort of rocketfuel to streamline us into the inner universe. My end game is this, ladies and gentlemen," he spoke with such confidence that made the room hang on every syllable, "I believe with this synthesization, we can find out the root mathematical equation which set the Big Bang into motion, thus, attaining a kennel of omniscience thought only to be conquered by the Gods themselves. This would help us understand EVERYTHING, *which begs to answer THE question of all questions, folks," he made a commanding hand gesture towards Monira who cued a video on the prompter, "What is the point?" Dr. Parota ended his last query with a staccato-like accentuation.
*
"Cipher"
***"What is the point of life?" Dr. Parota queried the stone-faced board of investors. His black and gray mop atop his noggin set freely, strategically combed out the center to stay out of his defined facial features. Suble movements of his body, as he went on with his pitch, gave way to a chain reaction, sending his hair flaying about in a neatly, randomized manner. "It's a question we've all asked ourselves at some point in time," he said, with utmost conviction as his commanding gaze pierced through his thick, yet stylish, black-framed glasses. His scarlet bow tie contrasted perfectly riddled with the absolute white polka-dots varying in sizes. Today was the day which would change his - and potentially the world population's - life forever.
*
****"You see, ladies and gentlemen, I believe I have the ability to synthesize a chemical which can give us answers to the questions we, as a self-aware species, have been asking ourselves for thousands of years!" Dr. Parota proclaimed. Eyes of the faceless investors rolled in unison. He knew most would scoff at his pitch, arguing there was nothing proprietary about what was essentially a mind-altering drug. His main goal was to target the hearts of those whom of which had a tinge of hope. If he could just plant a seed into his targets, they would not be making a proprietary investment, but the philisophical return was immense beyond any realm of possibility. He needed to target the wonderers, the dreamers, the investors whom had the ability to observe the bigger picture. He predetermined it would be a daunting task to create an emotional investment, but this was no ordinary investment after all.
*
****"Answers to the historical battle between fate and freewill, intelligent design, evolution, the source of the Big Bang, and the infamous blueprints for life itself," he paused theatrically, "DNA." Dr. Parota shot a wink at his esteemed assistant Monira Magdory. Her beautiful face was dulled by her drab choice of fashion- a plain black, double-breasted suit with a white blouse with frills which lied flat against her chest. Her minimal makeup, and plain brown hair, hardly noticable to anyone of importance. Dr. Parota hadn't fussed about it, after all, he was the center of attention tonight. He was ever thankful for her minor in public speaking. She was the mastermind behind his pitch.
She returned a warm smile, reacting to his wink, and tried not to blush as much of the room focused on where his wink was aimed. He continued, "The Law of attraction and how it coalesces with intent and consciousness as a way to create alternative realities. How quantum physics ALREADY offer a plethora of evidence for both destiny and choice. I believe I can find a synthesizer which can activate neurons within our minds and give us access to data untapped by mankind. A sort of rocketfuel to streamline us into the inner universe. My end game is this, ladies and gentlemen," he spoke with such confidence that made the room hang on every syllable, "I believe with this synthesization, we can find out the root mathematical equation which set the Big Bang into motion, thus, attaining a kennel of omniscience thought only to be conquered by the Gods themselves. This would help us understand EVERYTHING, *which begs to answer THE question of all questions, folks," he made a commanding hand gesture towards Monira who cued a video on the prompter, "What is the point?" Dr. Parota ended his last query with a staccato-like accentuation.
*