Why Men Womanize [Archive] - Literature Network Forums

oweniwe

08-05-2015, 12:27 PM

Oscar

Somewhere in Brazil…
(It is early morning. Oscar is in bed smacking his groan rhythmically against the sheets. There’s a knock on the door. He quickly lie flat as if he is asleep. Next thing, the door hinge goes down while door opens. Maria pokes her head into the room, sighs and walk up to Oscar’s bed. She slaps him in the bum.)

Maria: Wake up… sleepy head…

(Oscar turns slowly half frowning with sleepy eyes.)

Oscar: Oh Mama… you’ve got a cockroach in your room again?

Maria: Not a cockroach… but a son who hates going to schools. Lectures will resume in your school in one hour time and you’re there sleeping like a hog. I’m off to work in soon and the guard will be locking up all the doors as usual so you better get up.

(Maria walks to the door and exit. Oscar does a **** you sign at her. Just then, Maria opens the door again. Oscar drops his hand. Maria pops her head through the door.)

Maria: Breakfast is waiting for you.

(As Maria closes the door behind her, Oscar jumps from his bed to the door and locks it. He turns around facing his bed, sighs and then walks to the bed and sit. He grumbles… then faces the camera.)

Oscar
Damn! Those people got no respect for my privacy. I was about to pour out the thing when she suddenly interrupted… Gosh, I hate this house.

Well… you may be wondering why I said those hateful words. Do you even know me? Let me tell you about myself. My name is Oscar De Lima… (Extends his hand to the camera lens as if to shake it) Oh well, I will be 26 in a few months time so contrary to the way my mom addressed me, I’m no high school pupil… far from it. I’m in my final year in the University… I am a big boy… and of course, the first kid of the house… (winks) I would have gotten admission into a school far from home and be free of all these rude folks but unfortunately or fortunately, as the first born and only son, my mom won’t let me go too far from home. The fortunate part is that… my younger sisters are both out there in far away schools so I am left here to enjoy all the home goodies alone. What’s the time? Holy ****… I better get my butt to the bathroom. Come on… come on…

(Oscar springs up and rushes to the bathroom while the camera follows him)

My dad is a secret civil service chief. He takes no bull poo from anybody… only my mom knows how to handle him. He made one sort of useless rule that the house should be empty by 10am every working day… His guard… that guy… I wish I can fire him. At 10am, he’ll lock the gates and refuse to open it until 3pm unless dad or mom calls him to open the gate. That *******… he’s gonna die there at the gate.

I know why you came here and I don’t have much time either so let me go straight to the point. I don’t even know what you mean by (sneers) ‘womanizer’… no womanizer in his right sense will admit he is one. Well, for me, I am only catching fun. There are lots of free pussies out there begging to be banged… don’t you watch music videos? You see how they twist and shake their asses… don’t worry. When I get to the campus, I’ll show you lots of them.

(He suddenly grabs his groin as if in pain) Gosh… the thing is paining me. I didn’t pour out when I was wanking earlier… my tummy feels like a fully loaded tanker. Let me explain to you… (he grabs a bucket and holds it up) the man’s balls is like a bucket… (He drops the bucket and kicks it under the tap) The tap is whatever produces sperm inside there. Now you see… all men have different rate at which they produce sperm.

(He turns on the tap a bit and water begins to drop into the bucket) Some men produce sperm in drops like this… it takes a long time for their balls to fill up so they hardly have any urges and you hardly see them around women… in fact, they hate women. Those guys can stay up to ten years without ****ing… hahahahahahahaha…

(He turns the tap and water begins to trickle out) The next line of guys produce sperm in trickles like this… maybe about few months, their balls get filled up and they have no other option than to find a lady to shag it out. Those guys… like my friend Rocco… they have lots of female friends but they hardly **** and they are very choosy about the kind of women they wanna ****. What’s the difference between a fatty and a slimy? For heaven’s sake, pussy is pussy. Imagine I let a lady walk away because she is too slim or too fat or too busty… (swears) those guys are very stupid.

(He turns the tap further and water begins to flow out) The next group of guys… which include me… we produce sperm in normal tap flow like this… in a couple of weeks, the balls get filled up and the begin to over flow… I mean, wet dreams. If you see a guy with a so called serious girlfriend and some other no-strings-attached- chicks on the side, yea, he falls into that category. You can imagine a guy humping his girlfriend and few minutes later, he picks a call from his sister asking him when he’ll come over… sister my foot!

(He turns opened the tap completely and water begins to rush out turbulently) The last group of guys are like this… the rate at which they produce sperm, only their mama knows what they gave them to eat when they were babies. Those guys have very big and insatiable phallus. If they don’t **** in about three days, they’ll begin to act a bull… the gentle ones do like a bull running on top of a moving train while the aggressive ones would do like those Italian bully bulls, knock out everything in sight until they have discharged their balls. Thank my stars am not one of them.

(The bucket is now full. He turns off the tap.) Now the next question is… what do we do with our balls full of sperm? I know most women feel it is a waste for men to jerk off. I don’t blame them for their ignorance. Let me ask you… how would a nursing woman feel if her breasts become filled to the brim with breast milk? When there’s no baby to suck the milk out, you know what they do? They’ll catwalk to the bathroom, lock the door, bring out the yummy boobs and squeeze the precious milk out into the sink. So the ladies have no moral ground to lampoon us guys who choose to pour out their sperm anyhow they feel like. I know some people will say breast milk and sperm aren’t the same… what’s the difference? They’re both white in color and meant to nurture babies… hahahahahaha…

So you can see, when the balls become full of sperm, it’s like a busty woman with breasts full of milk. Who wants to be walking around with heavy balls like this… (He lifts the bucket up to his groin and walks awkwardly with it) That’s crazy. Unlike a tap, our balls can’t just be turned off… they keep on producing sperm… (he turns on the tap) and you’ve gotta throw away the water, otherwise, just as the bucket is overflowing and messing everywhere with water, so does the accumulated sperm begin to cause inconveniences, discomfort, wet dreams, soaked sheets, excessive wanking, I mean masturbation and all that. So the only ways out is to get a mature girl, bang and pour the whole thing into her pussy… (he lifts up the bucket and empties the water into the bathtub). That’s all. Now let me wank this thing off before my balls burst.

(He removes his boxer and proceeds to hang it beside the window while jerking off when he sees Cordellia walk out of the next house as if she’s going out) Whao… oh lala… I think I can make use of her pussy, don’t you think so?

oweniwe

08-05-2015, 12:44 PM

(He rushes to the bedroom to get his phone and hurriedly dials a call. He peers out of his window. Cordellia checks her bag for her phone, looks toward Oscar’s window and picks the call.)

Hi baby… I can see you’re going off to lecture… we could move together… Go to a fast food for breakfast, somewhere cool to chill out and then go face the goddammd lecturers. Just give me five minutes and I’ll be out with the car… okay? Oh no… please wait… I just wanna dress up and… alright I’m coming out…

(He drops the phone and rushes to the bathroom for a super fast soap and shower bath. Indeed, in five minutes, he is fully dressed up and rushes out to his mom’s room. Maria is busy applying makeup)

Oscar: Oh mama… can I borrow your mini?

Maria: (Plain faced) No.

Oscar: Ah… I just got a call right now from school that we’re having a test now so I’ve gotta be fast or I’ll miss it.

Maria: If I haven’t woken you up, you’ll still be asleep by now.

Oscar: Okay… thanks mama… (he grabs a key and sees Maria’s purse. He grabs it too, opens it and retrieves some cash)

Maria: (Protesting) Oh no no… leave my bag.

(Maria gets up grabs Oscar. He forces her into an embrace, plants a kiss on her cheek and hurries to the garage. He wastes no time jumping into the mini and in a minute, he is at the gate. The Guard greets him but Oscar replies with a stone cold face. As the gate opens, Oscar races up to Cordellia who is already walking down the road. He stops to pick her.

They go to an eatery to eat. Oscar won’t stop scratching his groin. After eating, they head out to Rocco’s place. Rocco is about to lock up when Oscar screeches the mini to a halt and runs up him. Cordellia remained in the car.)

Oscar: Wazzup man… you off to school too?

Rocco: Yeah pal. I thought you’re in school already.

Oscar: Oh no… I’ve got some unfinished business… you know… A new fish in my net… (winks)

Rocco: Why don’t you go to a motel?

Oscar: Common man… You know I prefer your crib… How would you feel if you’re deep into it and suddenly, you hear a knock on the door with a porter calling out to tell you your time is over? That sucks.

Rocco: So you wanna eat your fish in my crib?

Oscar: Oh yea… something like that. But why are you fuming? This isn’t the first time…

Rocco: I haven’t got time for your sermon. My crib is no motel…

Oscar: Okay… I’m going to a motel… (retrieves his wallet and squeezes some cash into Rocco’s hand) Now can I have the key?

(Rocco shrugs, hands over the key to Oscar and walks away. At the pavement, he sees Cordellia in the Mini. Their eyes meet. Rocco shrugs again and hails a passing taxi)

Oscar
Those trickle sperm guys are always jealous whenever they see us flow sperm guys with babes. They think we’re eating up all the fishes in the world but that’s not true. There are more than enough fishes for everybody. You can have as many fishes as you want if you understand their language. But those jealous guys… they just keep on looking and gawking while fishes swim around them. .. dumb fools.

(Oscar returns to the Mini to open the door for Cordellia. He tries to hold her hand but she snubs him. Oscar is surprised at her sudden change in attitude. They both walk formally like robots to Rocco’s room. Cordellia lies on the bed and begins to watch a video on her phone while Oscar undress. After taking off his shirt, jeans, and singlet, Oscar flies atop Cordellia. She looks at scornfully and continues to watch the movie. Oscar tries to take off her top but she resists him. He looks confused for a while and tries to collect the phone from her but won’t let it go either. He sighs and begins to kiss her nape. Cordellia didn’t respond. Oscar sighs, frowns and forces off her blouse. He tries to collect the phone again but Cordellia shoves him away.)

Oscar: What the heck is the problem? If you don’t wanna do again, you can just get up and walk out.

(Cordellia ignores him and continues to watch the movie. Oscar unhooks her jeans and pulls it off. As he tries to pull her pant, Cordellia struggles with him but Oscar pins her down with his chest and pulls it down. He laughs, takes off his boxer and wags his tool at her. Cordellia frowns and looks away and closes her legs.)

Oscar: Oh God… why are you behaving like this? I said if you don’t wanna do, you can go. It’s a free world.

(Cordellia ignores him. Oscar climbs over her again and yanks her legs apart. A little struggle ensures and then Oscar begins to thrust. Cordellia tries to ignore him and continue watching the movie though she is panting heavily. Oscar snatches the phone from her and tosses it away.)

********

(On the campus, Oscar parks the Mini and tries to kiss Cordellia but she pushes him off and exits the car. Oscar raises his leg to the steering, watch her walk away and bursts into laughter.)

Oscar
Hahahahahaha. What catch. At first, it all started jovially. She seemed to be into me. Then suddenly at Rocco’s she turned cold. I almost gave up… and that’s one thing about us womanizers or whatever you call it… we don’t give up. Actually, it was my first time with her. I have been barraging and disturbing her to let me into her dorado since she moved into the area but she refused. I guess am lucky today. If you’re still wondering why she turned cold, Rocco is her best friend’s friend and things like that so she wasn’t happy about coming up to his crib. Well, what’s my business? I’ve settled Rocco, I’ve pounded her pussy… game over!

I must confess, that girl was boring. I was humping and humping her and she just laid there like a log of wood as if she isn’t feeling a thing. It felt like I was banging a statue. I’m never gonna **** that girl again… she’s a complete waste of energy… except… except she offers me her pussy (winks). Who am I to refuse? I better get my *** to class before the lecture is over… where is my note? (He looks around the car. Then he remembers that he didn’t leave home with it) Holy **** I forgot the useless note. Well, I can borrow Rocco’s.

(Oscar hurries out of the car to the lecture hall but to his chagrin, he bumps into the Lecturer at the door. He scratches his head as the Lecturer gives him a quizzing look and walks. Oscar sighs and turns to the camera.)

As you can see, another attribute of womanizers is that … they miss out of the most important things. Yes… they… them… cos I’m not a womanizer. See ya guys later.

oweniwe

08-05-2015, 02:53 PM

Singh

Somewhere in New Delhi…

Singh
Welcome to my office. Can I help you? Please have your seat. Hmmm… where do I start from? Okay. I am the P.R.O of the company. To be a public relations guy is very sweet. I have all manners of people, mostly women with different curvy *** shapes trooping in and out of my office. As they get up to go, and turn their back at me, I get to see a good number of different butt shapes daily.

Just like bankers come in contact with lots of cash every day, my job requires I bump into a lot of women too… or rather, they bump into me. Now I get a female visitor, next minute another visitor, next and next and next visitors are all women. Makes you wonder, where are the men? Why am do I get mostly only female visitors? I don’t know and I don’t care. I must however admit that a lot more women are surging into corporate environment. If care isn’t taken soon, they’ll take over everywhere and relegate the men to doing manual jobs for them. Bunch of *******s.

So here we go. The more ladies that flock into my office, the more I am tempted to touch. Is it possible for a man to receive over twenty female visitors daily and not do anything about them? Mehn… It’s very hard. When I started out, I maintained a plain face. I behaved like a Chitti in Sana’s women only home… until one day… I got this breathtaking visitor.

Reminiscence…

Oh my, she’s a goddess… very beautiful with perfect boobs. The way she spoke… I thought Rihana was singing. When she got up to leave and I saw her *** in a panty hose, before she got to the door, I flew out of my seat, jumped over this table and grabbed her waist from behind. Surprisingly, she didn’t shout. She just looked at me with ice cool eyes. I kissed her… kissed her… kissed her… pressed her boobs… smooched her bum… we ****ed right in this office.

I didn’t even lock the door. If someone had bumped when we were at it, my job would be out there in the trash can. But curiously, nobody came in. I took it as an omen that Krishna has blessed my job with lots of beautiful women as icing on the cake. So as time goes on, If I get a fancy female visitor, I would giggle and wink at her… you know those signs… If a lady returns my gestures, that’s good. If she doesn’t, I don’t bother her. Why should I? The percentage of those who reply is far greater than those who don’t… say 60-40. I’m more than okay with the sixty percent and most of them keep coming back for more and more… (There is a knock on the door. Singh adjusts himself) Yes… come in.

(A young lady with a large brown envelope enters the office and takes a seat. Singh looks at her flirtingly.)

Singh: You look gorgeous.

Shreya: Thank you… I’ve brought my credentials… (hands over the envelope to Singh)

Singh: Well… lemme see… Hmmm… high school… diploma… what certificate is this?

Shreya: Oh… that was from a course I did on telemarketing.

Singh: Really? Nice… (tucks the documents back into the envelope and put in in his drawer)

Shreya: I hope it is enough to get me the job.

Singh: Sure. But you’ll still have to go through the Human Resources. Don’t worry about that. I’ll take care of that for you if you can meet the… conditions (winks).

Shreya: Of course I can meet it. I just need the job badly. When am I going to be interviewed?

Singh: There wouldn’t be any need for interview since I’ll be recommending you for the job. I’ll just poke the HR to fill you in.

Shreya: Thank you. So when can we meet to check out the conditions?

Singh: Maybe… weekend… Saturday evening…

Shreya: (Breathing heavily) Okay… I get it…

Singh: Is anything wrong?

Shreya: Nothing. I think I’ll be going now.

Singh: Alright, I will give you a call.

Shreya: Okay. (gets up)

Singh: If you don’t mind me saying it… please take good care of your jugs for me (winks)

Shreya: (Embarrassed) Okay… (draws her shirt to cover her exposed cleavage)

Singh: Okay… bye.

(Shreya exits. Singh stares at the door with his head cocked for a while, turns to the camera and burst into laughter)

oweniwe

08-06-2015, 03:46 PM

Singh
Hahahahahahaha… I just got another one. I told you it’s sweet to be a public relations officer. That girl came here some time ago to make enquiries about the company’s products. Then she stylishly asked if we had any vacancy. I said… sure… yes… And I can help her get the job if she can meet my conditions. Guess what the condition is? (Wink) I’m very sure you know it. If she is very good at it, I will influence the HR to ring her into our distributor’s list. Otherwise, that’s the last day I’m going to see her.

(Soberly) Huh… Huh? What’s wrong? I’m not doing anything wrong here. This is a matter between two consenting adults. I told her what I want and she agreed so what’s wrong with that? If she’s good in bed, I’m gonna help her get the job and make her my unofficial girlfriend… I’m helping her out… you heard it yourself when she said she needs a job badly. I’m just trying to be a good Samaritan.

(As if in an argument) What’s the heck? I said it’s no big deal. She’s got a boyfriend who she gives her Kitty-Cat to free of charge… so what is wrong with if I help her and get the job and eat her Kitty-Cat? If you think I shouldn’t eat her Kitty-Cat, then tell her to go meet her boyfriend for a job… (There is a knock on the door) Please come in…

Maya: Hi Mr. Singh…

Singh: Wow… Maya… you back in town?

Maya: Yes… I’ve sold out my stock so I’m back to get some more. How’re you doing Mr. Bad boy?

Singh: I’m fine Madam Kamasutra.

Maya: Hahahahaha… I missed you. Do you miss me?

Singh: I missed you very much. I’m so happy you’re back.

Maya: So why didn’t you call me?

Singh: You know the nature of my job… I’ve been really busy.

Maya: I’m very tired too. Maybe we should go and chill out.

Singh: Chill out where?

Maya: You know it’s already late so I won’t be going Hyperabad today.

Singh: Oh… What’s the time? Thirty minutes to closing time… so I’m free. Where’re you sleeping over?

Maya: Radison Blu.

Singh: Whoa… (begins to clear his desk) dammn… let’s go and have fun.

(They both exit the office. At the reception, Singh mumbles some inaudible words at the secretary and exits the company with Maya. At the car park, they get into Singh’s car and drive off.)

oweniwe

08-06-2015, 03:48 PM

********

Radison Blu Hotel, New Delhi

(At the reception, Maya retrieves her key and they head to her room with Singh walking behind her like a subordinate. Once inside, Singh grabs her and they began a hot kissing session. Maya pushes him away and runs to the fridge to get wine while Singh peels off his clothes. He sits on the bed while Maya serves him. After rushing their drink, Maya flings the cup in the air, pulls off her gowns and leaps atop Singh…)

********

10:45PM

On His Way Home…

Singh
Damn… I really enjoyed that woman. In case you’re wondering who she is, she’s one of the company’s customers. The first time I tried my move on her, she was very hostile… threatened to report e to my boss. I had to beg her to hush. I don’t expect to see her again but the next time she came to buy stocks, she stopped at my office and was making all those come-and-get-me gestures. That’s how I nailed her. She is married with two kids. Well, that’s between her and her husband.

Oh my gosh… that woman’s got ringtone. While I’m at it, she’ll be moaning out sweet melodies…

Reminiscence…

(Singh and Maya in scissors position…)

Maya: Ha ha ha ha…
Hey hey hey hey…
Ho ho ho ho…

Singh
If you think it is only married men that cheat, you’re very wrong. I mostly deal with working class people. Most of the women I bang are married women. I wonder what’s wrong with their husbands. Take Maya for example, you have a beautiful, intelligent and sexy wife at home and you can’t service her as at when due… I don’t understand. Maybe her husband has got erectile problems. That’s good, at least, for me.

(Singh drives into the parking lot, locks the car and walks lazily to his flat. He uses his key to open the door but it’s still locked from inside. He knocks and leans on the door tiredly. The door turns open a bit. Singh opens it and wider, enter the house and locks the door. He turns to see his wife staring at him.)

Singh: Hi honey… I’m back.

Anjali: (Retorts) What’s the time? Haven’t I told you to stop late night crawling?

Singh: I know I promised to be home on time but I had a very hectic day at work today. (Hug and pecks her on the cheek) How’s baby doing?

Anjali: Who’s got that perfume?

Singh: Perfume? (sniffs his shirt) Perfume… there’s no perfume on my shirt…

Anjali: On your body.

Singh: Maybe it’s my body odor.

Anjali: Singh…

Singh: What? Oh… please don’t start another argument again. I’ll just take a shower and everything’s clear. Okay?

Anjali: Hmmm… Okay.

Singh: Hope you’ve got dinner set cos I’m very hungry.

Anjali: Just go bath.

(Singh goes straight to the bathroom, takes off his clothes and sniffs his arm.)

oweniwe

08-06-2015, 04:11 PM

Singh
Holy smokey… Maya’s got not only ringtone, she’s got perfume too. Women! They’re always possessive. I better bath and go chop. After three rounds, I’m so famished. If not for the little strength left in me, I’ll have slept over at the hotel. (He opens the shower and begins to bath. As if he hears a strange sound, he turns off the shower and frowns arms akimbo)

You were saying something about fidelity? Fidelity my pale bottom! Can’t you see she’s heavily pregnant? Seven months pregnant. In the place I come from, it’s a taboo to have intimacy with pregnant women… hahahahahaha.

(Soberly) Honestly, I never meant to cheat on my wife. When she got pregnant, her hormones shot up and virtually everything I do irritates her. At the time, she said intimacy felt like I was poking a thousand pins into her. So I decided to use those women to service my rod. Though she’s okay with intimacy now but I’m not just comfortable banging her with her heavy tummy so we only do it once in a while. Once she’s delivered, I’ll try to stop and focus on my family… hmmm.

Talk is cheap. You know… infidelity is very addictive. They more you go into it; the harder it is to pull back. I’m being honest here. I’ll try my best to stop but if I don’t stop… it’s not my fault. Hmmm… whose fault is it? I don’t know. Once you start going out with women, you begin to find it hard to accept responsibility… excuses becomes the order of the day. But that doesn’t mean I’m an irresponsible person, am I? I better go eat before hunger whops me to death. See you later.

(Singh wraps on a towel and rushes to the dining table where he begins to hungrily eat his food.)

Blackout

oweniwe

08-06-2015, 04:12 PM

multiple posts

oweniwe

08-06-2015, 04:14 PM

multiple posts

xlwoo

08-07-2015, 08:42 AM

it's better to mix with why women maninze. so we get story of both sides.

MANICHAEAN

08-22-2015, 06:25 AM

Hope you don't mind me asking old fruit, but were you suckled as a child?

108 fountains

09-01-2015, 02:14 AM

Writing on the topic of why men womanize could be a handled in many interesting ways. What we have here, however, is an adolescent attempt at trying to portray all men as adolescents.

oweniwe

09-04-2015, 02:20 PM

xlwoo: That would mean writing an entirely new book. As a guy, i can't really say why women "manize" cos i'm not a lady... Except i write from a lady's point of view

MANICHAEAN: I beg your pardon... i don't really get what you mean by "old fruit"

108 fountains: Your opinion is highly appreciated. Let me ask you a question... If old man want to "have fun" with women, do they go for their peers (as in old ladies) or they go for young ladies in their late teen/early twenties? ... When it comes to bedroom/women issues and bar gists, old men want to be seen as young and active ... they adopt "adolescent mindset".

The novel is still in its first quarter. when it reaches 70% and your verdict remains same, i promise i'll give the book a thorough review.

cheers.

oweniwe

09-04-2015, 02:23 PM

Beye

Somewhere in Lagos…

(In a dimly lit ‘Master Bedroom’, Beye is sandwiched between two women; one slim and the other chubby. They all seem to be asleep. The chubby woman raises a leg and wraps it around Beye’s legs. As the slim woman knew what happened, she places her leg over Beye and subtle pushes the chubby woman’s leg off. Undeterred, the chubby woman raises her leg higher and places it on Beye’s back. The slim woman looks up, picks the chubby woman’s leg and ‘flings’ it away. The chubby woman didn’t move for a while. Suddenly, she lets out a precise kick at the slim woman’s leg. The slim woman seems angry. She lets out a counter-kick but unfortunately, her toe nails digs into Beye’s calf. Beye groans in pain.)

Beye: What is wrong with you women? Do you want to kill me? Who kicked me?

(Both women pretend to be asleep. Beye hisses and sits up. He yawns tiredly.)

Beye
Troublesome women. Every time they fight over every trivial thing. How they expect me to stay in the house when they are always quarreling, I don’t know. Tomorrow, I won’t sleep here. In the morning, I will tell them I am… travelling.

Let me introduce myself. I am Chief Maxwell Beye… but I just prefer to be called Beye. I am a simple man. These two women… they are my wives. This one (points to the slim one) is the senior while this one is the junior (points to the chubby one). I know what you’re thinking… you’re wondering how I came about two wives abi? Let me tell you how I came about them.

I never imagined I would be a polygamist. When I was a kid, I believed in the one-man-one wife doctrine. I always dreamed that I would marry a beautiful princess, have three or four children, and raise my family under one loving umbrella. But life is not mathematics. You see, it wasn’t my fault… circumstances caused it. When I met Fola, (points to the slim) She was just a girlfriend. I had no intention of marrying her. You know how it is back then when you hope to see a lady for a few months and then move on with your life. But there was no condom at the time… so… she got pregnant. I had no choice than to bring her in because I can’t imagine my child growing up without me.

This one, Oge… (points to the chubby one) is my real wife… hush… (he checks if the women are awake) I didn’t say anything o. When I first saw Oge, I was so much in love. I decided… **** monogamy. How do you expect me to tie the rest of one woman I don’t really love? So I proposed marriage to Oge but she flatly rejected it because of Fola. As a sharp guy, you know what I did? I purposely abstained from sex for one month, eat a lorry load of banana, paw paw, water melon and other fruits… at the end of the month, I banged her. She got pregnant with twins straightaway… hahahahahahaha…

But it wasn’t that easy. I want all my children to grow up together under one roof. Fola threatened fire and brimstone should I bring Oge into the house. Oge too was adamant she wasn’t moving in because the house I was staying then was too small. So I went to borrow money, brought land and built this big house. Even after that, they still refused to live together. So you know what I did next…. Guess what I did… see you… I starved them of money. I told each of them categorically, if you don’t move into the house, no money for you. And you know women like money. That’s how I got them to move in. For the first two years, they fought so much… I nearly ran away. But as more children begin to come in, they relaxed and got used to each other. But that doesn’t mean they’ve stopped their quarrels.

So… over the years… the house became real big. I told you earlier I only wanted four children. Now I have nine… Fola has four while Oge has five. Well, wetin man go do? They were doing competition to see who would have more children for me. Well, they eventually got tired of having babies and stopped getting pregnant. I was so relieved.

But the damage has already been done. Fola turned into a badly maintained pickup with bones showing here and there while Oge ballooned into a zeppelin. How she managed to slim down to her current size is a miracle. Though they’re till hot in bed but I’m tired of them. Abi… after nine children, what am I still looking for inside their legs? So anytime I want to have fun, I just pick my phone and call one of those madams to arrange one thick and fresh girl for me. I don’t keep girlfriends again o,.. I have learnt my lesson. If you want to carry women, don’t get emotionally attached or keep a woman for too long, otherwise, before you say ukpabie… she’ll get pregnant and then you’ll end up with two, three or four wives and plenty children. To pay school fees is not beans o. I want to sleep now. See you tomorrow.

(As Beye lies down to sleep, the women fling their arms and legs all over him. Swears silently, picks his pillow and goes to sleep on the floor. Fola taps Oge on the shoulder.)

Fola: Why did you wake him?

(Oge ignores her, picks her pillow and goes to join Beye on the floor. Fola hisses, grabs her pillow and joins them. Beye get’s up leaving his pillow and heads back to the bed. The women struggle for his pillow and eventually, Oge wins. Back to the bed, the women put their heads on each side of Beye’s large chest and use their legs to ‘lock him down’. Beye heaves and sighs.)

Blackout

oweniwe

09-04-2015, 02:24 PM

Gold

Somewhere in New York…

I always wish for golden days
Golden days are happy days
Cos I’ve got something made of gold
Small thing golden’s worth having
More than all the glitters of the world
For a glittering day I never wish
Cos I don’t wanna be like a burnt flint
At the end of the day
But Gold is always golden
Golden today and for centuries
Golden everyday
I wish for gold today
I wish for golden days
May my days be of gold

(Max motions at Gold to stop.)

Gold: (Annoyed at being interrupted) What the heck’s the dung man?

Max: Guy, you’re getting it all crooked up. You do like a hog singing to a swan.

Gold: Who is the hog and who is the swan?!

Max: You the hog! The mic the swan! If you wanna make it in music, you’ve gotta talk, hung, move and boom like a mafia, not like a hog.

Gold: I am’nt singing mafia song neither am I a mafia man and I’m never gonna be a mafia.

Max: How then do you expect to sell your music?

Gold: Small thing golden is worth having… more than all the glitters of the world!

Max: How’s your parables gonna fill my belle?! Am I gonna buy mansions, Maybach and have plenty *****es at my beck and call with your little gold? Your song is good… I’m no disputing that. But if you wanna make it big and fast, you give people what they want hear and not what they need.

Gold: And that’s how you guys turn the world into a junk yard. I’ll rather be a Rock of Ages man than be a TuPac, MJ and Puff Daddy jammed together.

Max: You son of a ****ing *****! I’m no longer ya manager. Get the **** outta my studio!

Gold: I’m gonna **** ya mama rotten pussy.

Max: What?!

Gold: And you gonna die on top of a pussy! *******!

(Gold storms out of the studio, hails a taxi and jumps in. As the taxi moves off, Max rushes out with a club. He bellows at the cab.)

Max: You gonna die in a t-a-x-i!

(Gold pokes his torso out of the taxi window and begins to make obscene gestures at Max. At the intersection not far from there, the traffic light turns red. Max begins to run furiously at the taxi. Just then, the light turns green again. Gold begin to laugh derisively at Max as the taxi zooms out of sight.)

*********

(In what appears to be a bar and club mixed, Gold walks up to the Barman and makes some silent enquires. The Barman points to another room. Gold walks tensed to the room and looks around. He sees a lady and walks up to her. She hugs him. Gold stares at her for a while and begin to hungrily kiss her…)

********

(At Gold’s apartment: Gold shuts the door close, grabs the lady and lifts her up to his waist to kiss her breasts. The lady hurriedly takes off her tops… Soon, Gold is banging her furiously while the lady moans loudly with mouth wide open…)

*********

(Gold, in towel, sees the lady off and gently closes the door. He walks to the fridge to get a drink, walks to pick up the TV remote and switches on the TV. He sighs, looks into the camera and turns off the TV.)

Gold
Hi… It’s a tough day for me. (Some silence) You can just call me Gold… that’s my stage name. Am not really an artiste anyway… I just got into it by… maybe by accident. After college, I scourged the length and breadth of the city looking for job but couldn’t get anything dignifying. The economy’s been real bad. After burning about a year looking for nonexistent jobs, I begin to think… God gave me my head for a reason… so I started writing songs. I carved out read good lyrics. But that didn’t solve my problems. To most people, it was like I wrote poems… cos they’re used to hearing bull scrap as songs.

So I started looking for a studio… got introduced to that ******* by a friend. At first it was all rosy. He told me he liked my songs and would love to be my manager. I said okay… then he just started spilling out all those rubbish you heard him said in the studio. I’m no hog… his father is the hog… mother****er!

It’s not as though I don’t wanna be rich and famous… I do dream of being super rich… but I’m not gonna sing gibberish to achieve that. You know why? Let me tell you.

Reminiscence...

You see, one night after performing at a club, I went to chill with the guys who organized the show. The guys had lotta sexy *****es around them… they were smoking hemp, sniffing coke, injecting and drinking all manners of junks. Then they wanted to go the club owner’s castle to eat up the *****es. The temptation to join them was so strong… but I knew it wasn’t right. I couldn’t just leave their company cos they’re like cult so I pretended like I wanna use the restroom and managed to sneak out of the club. Outside the club, I saw them file out staggering like drunk footballers to two convertibles and zoom off at high speed. Well… good luck to them.

Did I say good luck? Far from it… they got the opposite. I took a cab home… along the way I started seeing sirens… then the roads were diverted. I popped out my head to see what happened… oh my God… I didn’t believe what I saw. I got out of the taxi and ran to the scene… it was a terrible sight… the convertibles were both mangled… lifeless bodies strewn on the road… some crushed by oncoming vehicles. And these were the very same folks I was drinking with at the club only few minutes ago. (sighs)

Now that useless **** was booming me to sing like a mafia. You get my drift? What does it profit a man if he gains the world and lose his soul? If I sing mafia, nudes, weed and gibberish, how would those add value to people’s lives? Rather than add value, I’ll be degrading people who listen my music. Those dead folks at the clubs, they had everything mafia had to offer… drugs, sluts, money, sweet cars… I know we’re all gonna die one day but I don’t wanna die with coke and weed in my body and neither do I want sluts in bikini to be strewn around my dead body.

If I do sing mafia, I’ll never have peace of mind. I won’t be able to look back and say… hey… I’m proud of all did… because… rather that adding value to people, I destroyed them. During my appraisal in heaven, what would I tell God I did with my prime years? That I sang useless songs for pieces of paper that I can’t even take with me to heaven? I’ll rather be a janitor clearing out garbage… at least… I’ll be making the world a cleaner and healthier place.

To resist all these temptations comes with a lot of frustrations. Just look outta the window and you’ll see plenty frustrated people walking about. I need money, I need to build a career and put up a nice home… the harder I try to achieve those goals, the more the devil tries to frustrate me… and every time he seems to win... hmmm… no… the devil didn’t win because I didn’t give in or get caught in his cobwebs… yea… I won. On the earth it may seem like I lost, but in heaven, overcoming that Max of a ****… it was a victory!

But what do I do with the frustrations? They seem to be choking me up. Oh man, after leaving that hell of a studio, I couldn’t think clearly. You feel the same way when you just left an interview with the probing that you should have brought a nice shirt with your cab fare. Life’s a very hard school where you have to crack your brain to even get pass mark. Honestly, I don’t blame the people who choose to drink alcohol and smoke as a way of releasing tension. I don’t know what they’re going through so I won’t judge. But me, I’m no beer or cigarette man… I detest those things.

So… so… I wasn’t even thinking straight. Normally when those pangs of frustration jab me, I’ll go out and do some charity work… makes me feel useful… or listen to cool music… soothes my soul. But few hours ago, I’ve never had that kinda frustration pangs before. I didn’t even know how I got to the club. That babe… she’s been giving me pass before but I ignored her. So… everything happened so fast. When I poured out, it was like I poured out my frustrations into the condom… (smiles tiredly and sighs)

Gotta caught some sleep guys. Cheers.

Blackout

oweniwe

09-04-2015, 02:30 PM

Eh eh... lots of swear words got censored... hint to sensored words ... motherfvker, poozie, arzehole

oweniwe

09-04-2015, 02:32 PM

Oscar
(Oscar stands in a typical tertiary institution garden with the Mini parked in view. He is chatting silently with some girls. After a while, he hugs the ladies, wave them goodbye and sits on a slab.)

Oscar
Sorry for keeping you guys waiting. (Points to the girls) I had those important businesses to attend to. So let’s get back to the gist. I don’t know if I was a woman in my previous life, but one thing is sure… I love women. Why do I love women? If I give you an answer, you’ll throw another question back at me and then we’ll be doing it like ping pong so just let me talk.

You see, men are made to be hard as rock. How can I describe it? You know how pigs rush into the wallow on a hot day? Yes… that is how the chemistry is like between men and women. Every man has a kind of desire to just (jerks forward) rush into women. But for the sake of decency or timidity or whatever reason, we guys can’t just do that. If we do, all the ladies in the world would get pregnant asap. So… that is where wooing and courtship comes in. As a man, when I see a lady I want to “rush” into, I compose myself, walk up to her with confidence and tell her… hey babe… I want to rush into you! If she agrees, fine. If she doesn’t agree, maybe she doesn’t want to be muddled up or she wanna see if you’re serious… so you either move on to the next lady or try again.

But here lies the problem. If a lady agrees and allows you to wallow in her pool, when you’re done, you look around and you see other ladies… you’ll start thinking… thinking… this pool I’ve been wallowing in no longer interests me. Let me go and try another pool to feel how cool the water is. So you dump the present lady and move on to the next lady… and next lady… and you go on and on like that to the point that you wouldn’t like swimming in one pool anymore. That is very unfortunate because it breaches the law of conservation.

But here comes another problem. When an elder lady lets a man swim in her pool and the younger girl see that… she will start to thinking… hmmm… big sister’s got guys wallowing in her pool… let me get a guy to swim in my pool too. So the younger girl goes out and gets close to guys too… I’m sure you know the rest. So sometimes, it’s not just guy’s fault that they mess up ladies. Some ladies will actually come to you, sneak into your room, open their legs wide and say… hey buddy, mess me up! As a guy whose temperature is already high, what choice do you have? You obey her order and dive into her pool!

Reminiscence…

That’s the reason why my dad actually employed the guard. I would **** a girl… she would tell her friends about how hard I banged her… then in the middle of the night, I’ll get a call… hello, who is calling? She says she is my girlfriend’s friend. Okay, what do you want? She says she is outside the gate. What?! My adrenaline shots up. I tiptoe outta the house, sneak her in and bang her *** till she screams her great grandma’s name. The circle continued like that until one night, I sneaked this chick in… I didn’t know she’s got monster bass mouth.

As I was banging her, she was moaning so loudly… woke up my parents. Mom banged the door… hey Oscar, you wanna commit murder in my matrimonial house?! Of course, I didn’t open the door. The girl’s coochie was so sweet. I couldn’t let her go at that moment. Dad got the spare key and opened my door… I was livid. Don’t you old folks know the meaning of privacy? I didn’t even pull outta the girl. I just kinda stretched out a leg like this… kicked the both of them outta my room, latched the door and continued with the banging. The sheet was so messed up… I had to throw it away. I came back from school the evening and met the guard there. I tried to bribe him to let me sneak in girls but it seems like my dad pays him millions of Reais so my bribe is like peanuts to him. Then Rocco… the guy’s always broke. So anytime I have to bang a babe, I grease Rocco’s palm and bang bang bang… that’s all… hahahahahahaha.

(A feminine voice calls out. It’s Bella in company of her friends passing by)

Bella: Hey Oscar… hi…

Oscar: Hi Bella… hi girls… (waves at them)

(The ladies wave at him and move on. Oscar watches them go in admiration)

Oscar
See that lady in grey jeans… see as she sways her hip… (He gets up and gleefully mimics the lady’s gait. As he turns around, he sees another group of girls and freezes.) Hey buddy… come over… there’s something else I wanna tell you. You see the flock of girls there? Now turn around… another flock of girls there and there… (claps his hands and returns to his seat)

I don’t know why it is so but it seems there are lot more female babies being born than males babies. In my house, my parents have me and two sisters. In many other homes, same scenario abounds. So everywhere you go, girls are now the majority. In this school, sixty five percent of the population is female. In the offices… just go to any bank and you’ll see lotta ladies in suit cat walking around. Now let me ask you a question… if half of the male population is shy, who’s gonna be servicing all these multitude of pussies walking about?

Did I hear you say “leave them alone”? You can’t just leave them alone. The more ladies you ****, the more ladies flock to you for servicing. If you ignore them, they’ll come to you, sit in your face and start nagging. Their bush would grow all over their panties and begin to emit foul odor. When the nagging and the odor become unbearable, you surely know what to do. If you don’t do it, they’ll rape you anyway. So in order to maintain sanity in the society, it’s inevitable that some guys do the dirty job of continually servicing these ladies pussies so they won’t go nuts and over run the world.

(He sees two skimpily dressed girls walking slowly together)

Yea… You see those girls there… if that one wearing that mini skirt should touch her toes, you’re gonna see her whole butt. Why would any sane girl dress like that… wear something that can barely cover your boobs and **** hole? They say it is fashion or feminism. Feminism my eight inches dick! Come here… let me tell you a secret… (whispers) If you see a lady dress skimpily like that… it means two things; either she’s going to her boyfriend’s house to get banged or she’s hot and is advertising her pool for bold pigs to come wallow!

Gosh… as the Service Chief of the campus pussies, I better get my flat *** to work. Those ladies are in need of servicing…

(Oscar relaxes on the Slab and calls out at the ladies.)

Oscar: Hey Dolores… come come… you look gorgeous!

(The ladies giggle and walk up to Oscar).

Dolores: (Shyly) Hi…

Oscar: You too Sofia… do you ladies wanna blow my head with your hot sexy bodies?

(The ladies burst into laughter.)

Oscar: So what’s up with you two?

Sofia: Nothing much. We’re just taking a stroll around.

Oscar: Wow… I’m really bored sitting here all day too.

Dolores: Then why don’t you go home?

Oscar: If I were home, I would have the opportunity to see these beautiful angels fly by me.

(The ladies giggle.)

Oscar: Maybe… I could take you two out for a drink if you’ll permit me.

Dolores: Maybe tomorrow. You live at Cordozo…

Oscar: Yes…

Dolores: I think I know your place… high walls like maximum security prison…

Oscar: Yea… and that’s to keep out the rogue guys.

Sofia: Yea… hope you’ve got some booze in the fridge.

Oscar: Sure… there’s always booze. Shall we get moving?

Dolores: Oh boy… not today. Maybe tomorrow… Sofia?

Sofia: Yeah… tomorrow.

Oscar: Alright… I’ll get the house set for you…

(Sofia winks at Oscar and turns to go. Oscar covertly spanks Dolores’s butt. She sways her hip and increases her pace. Oscar watches them go while rubbing his hands together thoughtfully.)

Blackout

oweniwe

09-04-2015, 02:32 PM

Singh

At the PRO’s Office…

Singh
Hello… this is PRO Singh’s office… you’re welcome again… Please have your seat but if you prefer to keep standing, I you may keep standing… hahahahahaha.

So here we go. My wife is getting more and more suspicious about my movements. She told me to my face that she’s very sure I’m cheating on her. What is that supposed to mean? Because she is pregnant, I shouldn’t **** anymore? That’s akin to a guy recently beaten up by the rain saying that because he doesn’t have a car, everyone else should begin to trek about. What nonsense! As a responsible and loving husband, it is my duties to make her pregnant and have babies… I have discharged my duty… she is pregnant… so for the time being, I am free to wander about!

You don’t understand me? How do I explain? I love my wife. I can’t trade her for anything else in this world. The fact that I bang other women doesn’t mean I don’t love her. It has nothing to do with my marriage. I mean… it’s no strings attached. Just bang and go. That’s all. And that’s for the time being only. Once Anjali is put to bed and fit, we’ll start bunking again and I’ll stop random ****s… eh… err… maybe I will stop. I don’t just buy all that bull **** that pregnant women can also make love. Why should I be ****ing somebody with swollen tummy when there are lots of fit and willing ladies throwing themselves at me? If I may add, my dick is too precious for just one woman to be eating alone… hahahahahahaha…

Seriously, sex is a serious business. Everybody everywhere does it. Can you imagine the number of people that **** every day globally? Lemme google it… (picks his phone, taps the screen and turns out the result) You see, roughly 240 million people every day, 10 million people every hour… dammn! People are ****ing! Why all these inhibitions and hypocritical fidelity nonsense? Why should I sit down here with my trouser zipped up when millions of people are out there ****ing? If are capable of ****ing and you want to ****, go- and- ****!

(He seems to be angry and frowns but suddenly changes countenance.)

Hmmm… I’m hungry. Break time. Common folks, let’s go out to chop.

(Singh gets up from his chair, clears his table and exits to the reception. The secretary greets him but he ignores her and walks out of the building to his car. He has to compete with lots of tricycles and would wind down his window to yell at them to give way. He drives to a crowded neighborhood where he locates a canteen, locks his car as if looking out for a thief and walks gauntly to an unoccupied seat.)

Singh
The Secretary has been giving me signals for quite a while now. Well, I know the rules… never date anyone in your workplace cos if things get messy, they’ll make work miserable for you. So I keep her at arm’s length. Not all pussies are meant to be eaten.

I sometimes come here to eat when I get bored of eating the small, expensive and over-seasoned food that those flashy eateries serve. Here, you can eat a lot of delicious chops without worrying about your wallet… (calls out) Hey Madam, do you want me to doze off here before you attend to me? (Madam hurries up to him and apologizes for the delay) Give me biryani with two chicken lap and pina colada… that should do.

(Madam returns with his order and serves Singh. He wastes no time and begin to eat. Suddenly, a lady pops out from nowhere)

Marthy: Hello handsome…

Singh: Hi beauty…

Marthy: I can see you’re having a swell time.

Singh: Hmmm… hmmm…

Marthy: Aren’t you gonna buy something for me?

Singh: Something like?

Marthy: What you are eating.

Singh
Oh my God… some girls no longer have dignity. Am I her boyfriend that I should buy her lunch? That’s what you get when you come to eat in a ghetto. I could as well tell her to **** off… ****? ****? Oh yeah… ****. She thinks I’m stupid. Okay, let her eat whatever she wants. I’ll get my money back through her pussy.

Singh: You want to eat biryani?

Marthy: With chicken too.

Singh: Alright… (Calls out) Madam, please bring biryani and chicken for my wife… Hmmm… can I have your number?

Marthy: My number? What for?

Singh: (Calls out again) Madam, she says she’s not hungry…

Marthy: What? I never said that.

Singh: I know… just let me have your number… Here, take my phone…

(Marthy frowns and type in her number. Singh dails the number. Marthy’s phone rings out. Singh cuts the call)

Singh: (Calls out) Madam, please bring the biryani…

Marthy: So if I don’t give you my number, you won’t buy me lunch?

Singh: Not that… but I can’t just let a beautiful angel like you eat and walk away.

Marthy: Alright… Aren’t you married?

Singh: No… I’m a young executive. Marriage isn’t on my priority now. What about you? Don’t you have a boyfriend?

Marthy: No. I work as a teacher in one of the schools around… just closed and I’m so hungry… (Madam serves her) Thank you Mr. Gentleman…

Singh: Singh… what can I call you?

Marthy: Hmmm? Marthy. So where do you work?

Singh: Bharti Group.

Marthy: Wow… you’ve got money.

Singh: You’ve got beauty.

Marthy: Thank you. So where do you stay?

Singh: Hmmm… Trace Hotel.

Marthy: Hotel?

Singh: Yes… the company foots the bill.

Marthy: Wow.

Singh: We could go there to have a drink if you are free.

Marthy: Really? Hmmm… Okay…

(Singh winks into the camera and begin to chat in low tones with Marthy. Soon they finish up their food. Singh pays and ushers Marthy to his car. A little while later, they arrive at Trace Hotel. Singh takes her to the bar for a drink, excuses himself and returns with his hands in his pocket. He whispers something into Marthy’s ear and points up. Marthy giggles, rush her drink and cautiously follow Singh to a room. Singh locks the door, hides the key and begin tries to kiss and smooch Marthy. Marthy tries to resist him but soon give in to pressure. Singh wasted no time in peeling off her clothes and soon they begin to bang each other.)

**********

(Singh is fast asleep when his phone rings. Marthy picks the phone and taps him away. He sees the Manager calling, jumps into his clothes, peck Marthy on the cheek and hurries out to his car. He drives like James bond to his office. At the reception, he picks a large parcel and proceeds to his office. He barely settles down on the chair when his phone rings. It is Marthy calling.)

Singh: Hello… who is calling please?

Marthy: It’s me Marthy… The people say your time is up… didn’t you say you live here?

Singh: I’m sorry I don’t know any Marthy.

Marthy: (Agitated) You don’t know Marthy?!

Singh: Wrong number!

(Singh cuts, the call, puts the phone in airplane mode and deletes Marthy’s number with a smile. He drops his phone, “thumb up” at the camera and begin to open the parcel.)

**********

(In the midnight, Singh is asleep with Anjali by his side. Singh won’t stop scratching his groin. He gets up and goes to the bathroom, locks the door, strip off his short and begin to scratch his crotch wildly with both hands.)

Blackout

oweniwe

09-04-2015, 02:34 PM

Beye

(Beye is busy dressing up early in the morning when his eldest child walks in gently)

Chichi: Good morning daddy.

Beye: Good morning daughter.

Chichi: Hmmm… You’re getting fat o.

Beye: Have I ever been slim?

Chichi: No. Well… Erm..

Beye: I don’t have much time so you better talk.

Chichi: Our class will be going on an excursion to a bakery.

Beye: Okay. (Bends down to wear a sock)

Chichi: They fee is five hundred.

Beye: (Sits up) Eh?! How much?

Chichi: Five hundred.

Beye: Is there no oven in the house?

Chichi: There is…

Beye: Then go bake whatever you want there…

Chichi: It’s an excursion!

Beye: Excursion? To a bakery? Bakery of all places? In fact, don’t go.

Chichi: Why?

Beye: Why can’t they take you to the Government House, Construction yard, Hospital, Central Bank… anywhere else… why bakery? Do you want to become a bread seller?

Chichi: At least, they’re taking us out. You nko? You holy pass?

Beye: Me? Wetin I do?

Chichi: All those places you mentioned, why don’t you take us there? You don’t take us out at all…

Beye: But I take you all out on Christmas.

Chichi: Abeg… where is the money?

Beye: I don’t have money o.

(Chichi hiss and walks out of the room while sulking)

Beye: (Stunned) Na me you dey hiss at?

(He got no reply. Just then, Taye and Kehinde burst in)

Twins: Good morning daddy…

Beye: Good morning my children.

Taiwo: Papa… my shoe is torn.

Beye: Am I a shoe maker?* *cobbler

Taiwo: Money to repair it nau…

Beye: Go and meet your mama.

Taiwo: She say she don’t have money.

Beye: Okay… manage it like that till I come back.

Taiwo: Tonight?

Beye: Tomorrow.

Kehinde: Are you travelling?

Beye: Yes. Do you have any problem with that?

Kehinde: No. Well, my English and Economics note is finished. I need to buy another one.

Beye: Okay… tomorrow.

Kehinde: What will I use to write today?

Beye: (Sighs) Which kind question be this nau… There are students who go to school empty handed. No shoe, no book, no biro… go and ask them where you should write. Oya excuse me please… I want to change my pant… (grabs his native trouser rope.)

(The twins grim at each other and leave the room. Beye sighs with relief and puts on his agbada. As he turns around, he sees Keke and Kiki staring at him.)

Beye: Hmmm?

Keke: Good morning papa…

Beye: (Looks away) Go and wait for me in the parlor.

(Kiki giggles excitedly and exit with Keke sulks. Beye quickly puts on his cap, grabs his purse and hurries out of the parlor. He almost collides with Fola at the door. Fola is carrying a large tray with dishes.)

Fola: Are you not going to eat?

Beye: (Ignores her and climbs down the stairs) When I come back…

Fola: Try and eat nau…

(Beye freezes as if shocked when he sees all the children waiting in the living room.)

Children: We no dey go o…

Beye: Make una stay home then… (marches to the door)

Chichi: (Tearfully) Baba abeg naa…

Beye: (Turns around angrily) Na me you dey hiss at?

(Chichi drops to her knees and rubs her red eyes. Beye sighs and turns to Fola.)

Beye: Darling… please borrow me one thousand.

Fola: Shey you go eat?

Beye: (Jovially) Okay… I will eat.

(Fola is hardly up the stairs when Oge hurries into the living room from the kitchen with her own tray. She sighs in relief as she sees Beye and drops the tray on the dining table.)

Oge: Darling… Food is ready…

(The children begin to murmur and rub their shoes noisily against the floor tiles. Oge shouts at them.)

Oge: Una wan spoil the tiles?!

Beye: Okay… Okay… (To the Chichi) You sit down… (To the children) Have you eaten?

Children: Small…

(Beye sighs. He sees Fola climbing down the stairs and winks at Chichi. He walks up to Oge, grabs her hand pulls her up the stairs.)

Beye: (To Fola) Oya go back… I want to talk with you two…

Fola: But we can talk downstairs.

Beye: I say go up… aha…

(When they get to the upper living room, Beye sinks into a sofa and stares blankly into the air.)

Fola: What is the problem?

Beye: I will be travelling today and want you two to take good care of the children…

Oge: (Suspiciously) Travelling to where?

Beye: (Points to imaginary places) From there, I will go there and from there, I will go there… Okay, that is all… I am going.

(Beye jumps to his feet and marches downstairs followed by his wives. The women are shocked to see the children dispersing from the dining table while licking their fingers. Of course, the dishes are all empty.)

Fola & Oge: Eh?!

(Beye snatches the N1000 note from Fola, squeezes it and throws it at Chichi.)

Beye: Take whatever money you want and give Kehinde and… whoever wants to buy book… I am going.

Chichi: (Retorts at Fola) Shebi you say you don’t have money…

Fola: (To Beye) Is it the excursion money you gave her?

Beye: So?

Fola: Oya return the money… (runs after Chichi)

(Chichi runs to Beye)

Beye: (Distressed) Wetin nau? You people want to kill me? (To Fola) What is your problem?!

Fola: Is it my duty to give her excursion money? Abeg return my money.

Beye: Can you pay school fees? Ordinary one thousand naira you are you can’t give your child. What will happen if I die today?

Oge: Eh?! God forbid! Abeg… Chichi take…

(Oge pulls out two five hundred notes and stuff into Chichi’s hand.)

Fola: (Frowns at Chichi) You will come back and meet me here… (Storms upstairs)

Beye: (To Oge) You too… you said you don’t have money.

Oge: (Laughs) Haba… I wanted to use the money to cook their lunch.

Beye: Between book and lunch, which is more important? Later, you will be complaining that your children don’t know book…

Oge: Eh?!

Chichi: Daddy we are getting late.

Beye: Go to school nau…

Kiki: You said we should wait for you.

Beye: Okay… go inside the jeep…

Kiki: Which jeep?
(Beye exhales deeply and marches to the garage. The children hurry after him. Beye seems undecided on which car to use. Some of the children are already filling into the Sienna. He shrugs and walks to the Armanda. The little children climb over the third row seat and made themselves comfortable in the trunk while elder children stuff themselves into the seats. Beye reverses the car and drives off. The children wave at Oge who is at the gate.

At the school gate, the children take turns to peck Beye’s cheek and wave him good bye. Beye drives off waving his hand in the air. He picks his phone and dials a call…)

Beye:
Madam Korea… How are you… Of course… Do you have anything for me this morning… I trust you… err… I am going to Oriental hotel now… I want you to send me one slim girl with big breasts… Haba, why should they be hard to find? There are many of such girls around… I said slim, not fat o… Okay… You too like money, come and see me there tomorrow morning…

**********

(At Oriental Hotel, Beye exits the SUV with a lady. At the reception, he opens his purse, retrieves two bundles of cash, counts them, gives to the receptionist, and collects his key. When they reach the room, Beye pulls off his tops and lies tiredly on the bed. He seems annoyed that the lady is still dressed.)

Beye: Oya remove all those things and join me here… I am having headache, I need massage…

(The girl sensually strips off her clothes leaving only her pant and climb over Beye. She scoops her breasts over Beye’s head and begins to massage his head with her beasts. Beye grabs her buttocks and begin to fondle them.)

Blackout

Bryan25

09-05-2015, 05:22 AM

It's better to mix with why women maninze.
so we get story of both sides.

oweniwe

09-06-2015, 06:17 AM

.

that would require an entirely new book...

I'll give it a thought though.

Thanks for d suggestion.

will Update soon

oweniwe

09-09-2015, 12:33 PM

Gold

In my head always I have
Got a desire to be the best
But there’re many glittering garbage
That lay strewn all about on my way
And many pessimistic rich people
That say I should dump my golden goal
They say the sky is the limit
The tag over everything in life
I’m gonna think with all my brain
I’m gonna plan with all my heart
I’m gonna jump with all my strength
Over the tag over the sky
Getting first class is not a joke
But I will strive to be the first
I’m for the best
I’m for success
I’m all for gold

(The two panelists’ applause. Gold waves, taps the mic and walks leisurely to his seat beaming with smiles.)

Manager: That’s great lyrics he’s got there, isn’t it Shirley?

Shirley: Sure it is.

(Gold nods in acknowledgement.)

Manager: But I’m a bit curious to know… about your target audience… who are the people who’re gonna be listening to your music if we choose to sponsor you?

Gold: It’s not about sponsorship… it’s about working together.

Shirley: So who listens to golden music?

Gold: People of course.

Manager: Which people?

Gold: Me, you, you… people out there in the streets.

Manager: Do you think so Shirley?

Shirley: I don’t think so.

Manager: Listen to me son; I’m not trying to discourage you. Your song is very good. But as things stand in this age, people don’t appreciate good things anymore…

Gold: They do…

Manager: They do… in terms of tangible products, charity, and corporate services… but no longer in music. All those young people out there… all they care about is choreography and boom boom boom boom… If you play them a song that’ll make them think or use their brain, they’ll run away.

Gold: (Nods in agreement) You’ve got a point.

Manager: Yea. There’re still people would pay top dollars to buy your music but they are few. Most of the people out there… what they want is music that’ll make them forget and dance away their stress, frustrations and sorrows…

Gold: I get it. So what do you think we can fix that?

Shirley: We?

(Manager motions at Shirley to ‘stop’.)

Manager: There’re many ways to kill a rat… We could modify the rhythm to be a bit more dance-able or… we do two albums, one philosophy songs album like the one you have now, and another boom boom boom boom album . We can’t do your philosophy album alone cos we won’t make profit unless we sell at premium price. You get me?

Gold: Yea… I do.

Manager: So we’re going to tap into both markets. Those who want philosophy songs will have it and those who want dance music will it.

Gold: (Quietly) Wow… that’s great.

Shirley: So you’ll have to come up with another album.

Gold: Okay… But that’ll take some time.

Manager: Sure. We’re not in a hurry… are we?

**** Cut ****

(Shirley is busy clearing her desk… there’s a knock on the door.)

Shirley: Come in…

(Gold opens the door, pops his head in as if peeping and then enters the office.)

Shirley: You’ve got a really good concept there… but you know how it is… business before common sense.

Gold: That’s very right. Hmmm… I think I might need your help.

Shirley: On what?

Gold: Growing up, I used to hate all those mafia songs…

Shirley: You don’t have to write mafia songs… just something with good beats.

Gold: (Opens eyes widely like a naïve boy) That’s where I need you.

Shirley: (Confused) How? I don’t write songs…

Gold: No… I’m not asking you to write any song… it’s the beats. I’m going to come up with some demo beats and you’ll tell me which one would fit into the present objectives then I’ll conjure up lyrics to wrap around ‘em.

Shirley: That’s not a problem…

Gold: Thank you. Can I have your number?

Shirley: Oh… (Searches around and picks a card) You can have my card.

Gold: (Nods) Thank you… I hope you aren’t married…

Shirley: Hahahahahaha… You are funny…

Gold: I’ve gotta caught a cab home… and I wish you a cool evening rest.

Shirley: (Shyly) Thank you…

(Gold exits and exhales as he closes the door. He walks out of the building and takes a cab home.)

*** Gold’s Crib***

(Gold wakes up from sleep, goes to the toilet to pee and then to his reading table where he opens a note and begins to write. Then he looks up and winks.)

Gold
I went to hunt fishes and was told do both fishes and sharks. That was a big **** up. So when I got back, I needed to think of what to do. I so went to sleep and hoping my brain would provide the answer. And thankfully, it did. I dreamed of dolphins.

So rather than write gibberish, I’ll just do normal ones with good beats on the side. But I was afraid of something. You know… to get committed folks is pretty hard. They only want to see the finished product. Nobody cares how you make it, they just want to see you have it. I tried really hard to avoid that scenario with them. I don’t want to sit here alone conjuring up stuffs that might be rejected later. So… I had to get them to flow with me.

You see, if you don’t get people to flow with you on most projects, it’s a matter of time before they lose interest. I’ve been repeating that mistake over and over again… not any more. I really can’t say where I’ll go next if this deal crumbles. So I have to… penetrate. (raises up Shirley’s card) I got her.

Its kind of… like espionage. Ladies are better at it since they have better seductive power. I started to think... I stole a glance at her… right there as I sat, my head was running riot. I began to think… what general weakness do women have? Well, I guess most women have soft heart… empathy… compassion… they like to help. So I went to her looking like a naïve kindergarten pupil who needed help with his school work. Actually, I don’t need anyone’s help to be able to do my job effectively. But I want to make sure that I do the job with an insider watching my every move so that when I’m done, my work would be accepted in a swoop… express approval!

So you know what I’m gonna do? Guess? Hmmm… Can you keep secrets? Don’t tell her o… okay. I’m going to try to make her my girlfriend for the time being. She’ll select the beats she thinks are hot… I’m gonna do my thing… then hopefully, boom, the deal sails through. Life is not always straight or clear like a puzzle, sometimes you have to look things upside down before you get the real picture…

Blackout

oweniwe

09-09-2015, 12:34 PM

Oscar

(The De Lima’s Guard is having a nap when he is jolted awake by gentle knocking on his window. He rises to see who is at the gate. His eyes nearly shot out of this head when he sees Dolores and Sofia, both dressed in nylon spandex leggings and lingerie tops, are outside. He clears his throat.)

Guard: Hmmm… can I help you ladies?

Sophia: Please call Oscar.

Guard: (Pretends to be confused) Oscar?

Sofia: Yes.

Guard: Hmmm… Let me check if he is in.

Dolores: He told us he is in. (Waves her phone at the Guard)

Guard: Alright… let me fetch him.

(Guard proceeds to the intercom to make a call. He dials Oscar’s number… no answer. He tries again and got no answer still. He drops the receiver and steps out of his ‘office’.)

Guard: A minute ladies…

(Guard walks briskly to the living room where Lima and Maria are watching TV over a bottle of wine. )

Guard: Is Oscar in Ma’am?

Maria: (Bends her brow as if trying to remember something) Hmmm… yes… any problem?

Guard: He’s got visitors.

Lima: Male or female?

Guard: Female sir… if I may add, the look like the daughters of Jezebel (Grins).

Maria: What? Jezebel? Let me see for myself… (springs up)

Lima: Me too… I’m curious. (Follows Maria)

(At the gate, Lima and Maria carefully step out of the gate and pensively examine Sofia and Dolores.)

Maria: Can I help you ladies?

Dolores: Doesn’t Oscar live here?

Lima: Which Oscar?

Dolores: Oscar De Lima.

(Lima and Maria exchange glances)

Maria: There’s no Da Lima here… What we have here is D’Maria.

Sofia: But that’s his Mini. (Points to the Mini parked in the compound).

Lima: (Firmly) There is no Oscar De Lima here… thank you.

(Lima takes hold of Maria’s hand and gently pulls her into the compound. He turns to the Guard.)

Lima: Oscar doesn’t leave this house until I say so.

Guard: Yes sir.

(Outside the gate, Dolores angrily grabs Sophia’s hand and they walk a few blocks away from the house. They suddenly turn back facing the house’s yard, plug their ears with their middle fingers and yell out with fang like teeth.)

Dolores & Sophia: O-z-c-a-r-r-r…!!!

(Oscar is fast asleep on his bed. His head seems to vibrate and then he frightfully jerks awake. He looks around confused and picks his phone. He sees sixteen missed calls, let’s out a yell… jumps out of the bed and hurriedly dresses up. He picks his phone, Mini key and bolts out of the room. At the Living room, He breezes past his parents.)

Maria: Oscar! Come back here!

(Oscar stops, sighs, makes you turn and stands before his parents)

Oscar: (Stops meekly with dilated pupils) Hmmm?

Maria: (Visibly upset) Didn’t you see us here?

Oscar: Oh… I’m sorry. Hi folks…

Lima: Where are you going?

Oscar: I wanna get some notes from Rocco.

Maria: Go eat your lunch.

Oscar: What?!

Lima: Go– eat– your- lunch!

Oscar: I’ve got no time for food. Later folks…

(Oscar dashes out to the garage and races the Mini to the gate. He begins to depress the horn desperately. When the gate didn’t open, he jumps out of the car and yells at Guard who seems relaxed in his swivel chair.)

Oscar: (Angrily) You son of a *****… open the gate!

Guard: (Offended) Whore ****er… get inside the house!

Oscar: Are you drunk?!

Guard: Go to your room… I’m tired of babysitting your dick!

Oscar: What?!

Guard: Go to your room!

(Oscar exhales and sighs)

Oscar: When I get back I’m going to kill you.

(Guard drops into his chair laughing)

Guard: Hahahahahahaha…

(Oscar reverses the Mini to the yard… grabs a blanket from the clothes line and flings it over the electric fence. He drives the Mini’s trunk almost against the fence, exit, climbs the Mini room and jumps over the fence. He groans as he lands on a low shrub on the other side of the fence. Oscar picks himself up, dusts his clothes and runs away as fast as he could to the next street. He picks his phone and calls Dolores. The ladies are at a nearby bar gently sipping their drink.)

Dolores: Hello…

Oscar: Hi baby… I’m very sorry…

Dolores: That’s okay.

Oscar: Where are you at?

Dolores: Santos Bar.

Oscar: With Sofia?

Dolores: Yea.

Oscar: Okay… I’ll be there in a jiffy… (Cuts the call and jerks out his hip) Yeah! I’m going to have a threesome!

(Oscar waves down a taxi, yanks open the door and jumps in)

********

(At Santos Bar, Oscar tells the Taxi Driver to wait while her rushes into the bar. He sees the girls in a corner.)

Oscar: Hey babes… let’s go.

(Dolores beckons Oscar to come closer. At their tables, Sofia blurts out)

Sofia: Aren’t you gonna pay for the drinks?

Dolores: Calm down babe… Oscar, please settle the drinks.

(Oscar pulls out his wallet and walks to the bar. He silently enquires about the bill and pays the Barman. He returns to the girls, pull them up and herd’s them to the taxi.)

********

(The Taxi stops at Rocco’s place. Oscar exits the taxi, links arms with them and lead them to Rocco’s room. Rocco is reading when they enter. Oscar signals at the girls to sit on the bed while her shakes hands with Rocco. Oscar pulls Rocco up and nudges him out of the room into the yard.)

Rocco: (Frowns) Hey man… what’s happening?

Oscar: It’s time to enjoy paddy.

Rocco: So?

Oscar: You’ve been reading so hard… you should go for a drink.

Rocco: And what happens when I’m gone?

Oscar: (Winks) I’m gonna **** those pussies… but you can have one of them if you want.

Rocco: I don’t want your sluts and you’re not going to **** them in my crib.

Oscar: (Teasing) Common Rocco… aren’t your balls filled up yet?

Rocco: (Angrily) You are disgusting. Get those sluts out of my crib before I disgrace you.

Oscar: Are we quarreling man? (Retrieves his wallet) Hey… Have some dough and chill… I’m not gonna stay long.

(Rocco angrily snatch the money and stuff it into Oscar’s shirt)

Rocco: Get those *****es outta my house and I don’t ever wanna see you here again!

Oscar: You mean it?

Rocco: I mean it!

Oscar: Fine! You’re no longer my friend again.

Rocco: Whatever… just get away with your sluts.

(Oscar clenches his fist and stares extremely hard at Rocco. He nods his head and walks back to the room.)

Oscar: (Cheerfully) Hey babes… we go to the beach resort now!

Sophia: The resort?! Wow!

Oscar: Yeah… let’s go...

(Oscar leads the ladies out to the street to get a taxi while Rocco looks angrily as they go. Oscar gives Rocco a “**** you” sign as the taxi drives off.)

***********

(In the resort room, the ladies sit Oscar down, strips him nude and begin to struggle with each other to perform fellatio on his stiff rod. Oscar grabs their hair with both hands and nudge them to compete harder. Eventually, the girls stop competing and take their turn to suck. Soon, Oscar ejects a mug load of fluid. The ladies begin to hungrily lap up the fluid. Not satisfied, Sofia grabs Oscar’s rod and begin to suck again. Oscar grabs her hair and pulls her off.)

Oscar: (Panting) Chill babe… I just came…

(The girls leave him and strip off their clothes while Oscar watches them lustfully. Then he gets up, removes his tops and jumps on the bed. Dolores sits her Vagina on Oscar’s face while Sophia climbs his hip and begins to ride in reverse cowgirl mode. Sophia begins to moan loudly with her fang teeth poking out)

**********

(A Porter walks to Oscar’s room and knocks the door. He gets no reply. He tries again, no response still. He uses a spare key to open the door and sees Oscar fast asleep on the bed. He walks over to the bed and wakes Oscar. Oscar opens his eyes dizzily.)

Porter: Please get dressed. Your time is up.

(Oscar nods and tries to get up but he couldn’t move his body. He seems frightened and calls back the Porter.)

Oscar: Wait… help me up…

***********

(At the resort restaurant, Oscar barely got served when he begins to gobble up the food hungrily.)

Blackout

oweniwe

09-09-2015, 12:36 PM

oweniwe

09-09-2015, 12:38 PM

Singh

In a motel room…

(Singh, with his legs wide open on a chair, is busy applying herbal concoction to his crotch. When he is through, he wraps his night robe around his hip and fastens the belt. Then he turns to the table to take his medications. He laboriously swallows some tablets with a glass of water and walks awkwardly to the bed to rest. As if someone pokes him, he jerks, turns around to see the camera and heaves a sigh of relief.)

Singh
Oh… thanks for coming. I was almost bored to death. Now I’ve got company. What a relief.

I want to ask you a question… does being cheap necessarily mean that something is fake or better? Because I don’t just understand this phenomenon of cheapness. Sometimes I go to the market and get good and durable products for about half the normal price I’ll pay for high end product that’ll still break down anyway. Does it make sense to buy an iphone for a thousand dollars when you can get a Windows or Android device that has almost the same specs with the iphone and cost only five hundred dollars? This is where I am presently confused.

I could have gone to eat at a standard eatery where no one would disturb me… but I choose to go to a cheap ghetto restaurant because they have better food. I have lots of high class chicks I could call for sex if I’m horny but I ended up picking up a cheap, disease ridden slut and got infected with syphills and warts all because of a plate of biryani and chicken. She ate my biryani, drank my wine… what do I get in return? Intense itches, rashes and irritating warts on my pubic area. What a nasty experience!

Reminiscence…

The night when I got back home, it was like my dick was on fire. The more I scratched, the more the ugly warts came out. I had to sneak out early in the morning to the hospital where the doctor told me I had contracted these junks. How do I go to work like this? What will I tell my wife? The only way out is to quietly treat the infections and hope I’ll be fine in a few days time. I thank my stars it’s weekend. If it I don’t get better by Monday, I’ll call in sick at work and hopefully, everything will be fine. I simply told Anjali I travelled. Oh my… I should have used a condom.

Mehn… it has happened. Maybe I’ll stop random ****s and keep one or two girlfriends… but even that comes with its risks. I don’t want any chick crying out to me that she’s pregnant when I have a wife at home. Oh… I don’t really know what to do… tell me what to do… I’ll do anything as far you don’t tell me to give up pussy or stick to my wife because it has nothing to do with my wife. Sex is like a league where you play against as many teams as possible. It’s just for entertainment… for fun… nothing to do with my wife. You see?

So what shall I do? Maybe I’ll just stick with my routine of pussies. If I must **** outside the routine, I’ll check the pussy in and out for any sigh of nasty stuff… oh… why didn’t I check the stupid girl’s pussy… Well, I’ve learnt my lesson. No more ghetto girls and no more random ****s. Only clean girls and regular pussies. Is that okay? That’s as much as I can give up. Don’t try to persuade me to make further concessions. That’s all.

I’m feeling dizzy. Tramadol is a son of a *****. Makes me feel horny too. But the doctor says it’s to ensure enough blood keeps circulating down there and I don’t scratch too often. So guys, I’ll be off to slumberland soon. Sorry our chat for today is so short. Maybe next time, we’ll talk more… err… err… (Falls asleep)

**********

(It’s dark in the Office. Singh, Shreya and the Director are having a meeting. Soon they begin to pack their files and shake hands. Director calls Singh and hands him his car key to get something for him in the car. Singh drops his file on the table and leisurely makes his way to the garage. Just outside, he sees Shreya who is about to enter a taxi, drags her out and waves the taxi goodbye. Soon they start kissing and smooching. Soon, they begin to drop off their clothes randomly on the road. Singh suddenly lifts Shreya in the air and carries her to a SUV parked in the garage. He opens driver door, strip off his shorts, sit and wear the seat belt. Shreya takes off her panties, climbs over him and shut the door close. Shreya begin to ride real fast while they both moan loudly. Suddenly, the door opens and there is the Director starring angrily at them. Singh and Shreya both shriek with fear.)

Director: You’re fired!

*********

(Singh jerks awake sweating and panting heavily.)

Blackout

oweniwe

09-09-2015, 12:52 PM

Beye

Still At Oriental Hotel…

(Beye seems to be asleep. The girl on the other hand is dressed up and brushing her hair. Soon there is a knock on the door. The girl taps Beye. He gets up lazily, removes the key from his pajamas and opens the door. It’s madam Korea. He welcomes her and returns to sit on the bed. After some chats and laughs, Beye picks his purse, retrieves a bundle of cash and toss it at Madam Korea. As they are about to go, Beye calls the girl back. She bends down to kiss him. Beye fumbles her breasts and spanks her breasts as she walks catwalks away. When they are gone, Beye arranges two pillows together and yawns.)

Beye
Yesterday was sweet. That girl can **** o. she was just grinding on top of my thing as if her toto is lister engine. For some time, I was even thinking of marrying her. But who wants to marry a prostitute? Nobody. That girl shouldn’t be more than 21 years old and she is already a professional. I can’t imagine my own daughter servicing her fathers’ mates sticks for a living… kai… God forbid.

You see, if an elder tells you not to womanize, look at him very well. He must have eaten so much toto to the point that toto no longer means anything to him. It is those guys you will see drinking nonsense around. My father had five wives and numerous concubines. The same man opened his mouth after he retired without anything to show for all the money he made when he was working and told me… my son, run away from women. Thunder fire him.

Why should I listen to him nau? Why didn’t he stop carrying women when he was in his prime? Why didn’t he just stick with his wives? It is after he retired… when he no longer had money… is when he now remembered that it is not good to carry woman. That means his advice is not genuine… because, if he had money again, he would start carrying women again. The man has died anyway… and I don’t miss him one bit. That is why I distance myself from friends who had very nasty pasts and started forming Holy Michael when they lose their major source of income. You don’t understand me? It is the same reason why it is not good for a married woman to be keeping divorcee friends.

Life is funny sha. When we were young, we swear never to do all those bad things our parents did. But when we grow up and take over from them, we find ourselves doing the same things we once abhorred. I know that I ‘carry woman’… okay. But compared with my father, I am a saint. I only do this one once in a while when the people at home drive me crazy. My father on the other hand does it for fun. In spite of having five wives, he would still bring other women into the house to sleep with him while his wives will be looking like fowl. If I try that at home, my children will burn the house… hahahahahaha.

You see, men don’t just carry women like that… they do it because they know they can get away with it or even praised for it. Between a man who has one woman beside him and the man who has three women beside him, who will people respect more? The man with three women of course. That is the primary reason why men carry plenty women… because the more women you carry, the more people will respect you!

The funny part of it is that it is women themselves that perpetuate and encourage all these things. Like this Madam Korea, she is the one that recruits all those girls. If you want to marry a second wife, just flash some cash at any girl you see, rent house for her and furnish the place... that is all. She will not run away from you because you’re already married. In fact, nowadays, some girls prefer to date married men because of some stupid reasons like (murmurs sheepishly) ‘married men are caring’. This girl that came her for example, if she gets married now, later when her husband start chasing other women, she will start complaining. The young husband will say… didn’t you do the same thing to other women’s husbands? Didn’t you follow-follow all those old men for chicken change when you were young? How many suitors did you have before I married you… three, four, five suitors. If I now carry younger girls, why are you complaining? I beg go and sit down jare!

The elderly women are even funnier. If you want to marry a second wife, just buy a crate of Coke or Fanta, call all the old women in your neighborhood together, give them a bottle each and tell them to go and beg your wife to accept the other wife. They will get up, adjust their wrapper, tie headscarf, waka-waka to your wife and talk bull **** into her head… you wife will become more confused than Nicodemus, and that is all.

Even the man’s mother and sisters sef… If the son or brother to marry… eh eh… come and see how they will be tongue lashing the wife… you’re not taking good care of my son, you cannot satisfy our brother in bed, our son need to bear more children to carry the family name… bla bla bla. But when son in-law want to do the same thing, the same mother and sisters that supported their son and brother earlier will start raining fire and brimstone on the son in-law’s head. That is women for you. If they don’t condone womanizing, men will not womanize. But they since they heartily accept and encourage it… okay no problem… hahahahahahaha.

I just feel sorry for the small girls sha. I know how bad it feels to be exploited… when men just want to get in between your legs and walk away. But if you tell them to keep their legs shut they will not hear word because they don’t have sense. It is only when they reach middle age… say thirty five, forty… that is when they begin to have sense. I will not absolve them men from blame too sha. We complain that our girls are getting spoilt, but we are the same people that use our mouth, money and prick to spoil them. Na so. That is life for you. (Sighs)

Sometimes, I feel like flogging myself. You saw my children yesterday morning… they need money for basic things. I said I don’t have money oh. But here I am in a fifteen thousand per night hotel room and just coughed out ten thousand for a ‘runs girl’. I will go back home again and say I don’t have money… it’s a shame… ah, I cannot come out and say I am proud of what I am doing. But just like a smoker would give excuses for smoking, I have my excuses too. The people at home… they vex me a lot. I only carry girl once in a while to cool my head. And then… it is my money… I can spend it anyhow I like, abi? (Smiles dryly)

Time has flown. I better get to work before those useless managers ruin my business for me. Trustworthy people are very hard to find in this country. If you put some people in charge of your properties, once you turn your back, they will begin to chip, nick and eat out of your sweat. Some shameless ones will just guzzle everything.

(Beye gets up and walks wearily to the bathroom)

That girl nearly broke my back…

Blackout