hopefulauthor
07-24-2015, 01:04 PM
Hi again, this is another little piece I have written and I would loved to hear your thoughts on it. Please leave comments below and thank you for taking the time to read this.
I see them, sitting at the table together, making funny faces and laughing. My heart crumbles along with my mood. I feel the cold, steel blade of reality repeatedly jabbing my heart, taking away any last pieces. How did I not see this coming? The cold blade is removed from my chest and I instantly fall to the ground.
I shake awake with a fresh gleam of sweat covering my body. Breathing hard, I remove my covers and head downstairs for a cool drink of water to help calm my nerves.
My dreams are often crazy, and often remind me of just how painful love can be. Who would've thought it could hurt so badly and feel so real, my brain must be out to get me.
"Lea! Can we go to the lake today?" My younger sister called me as I made breakfast for my older brothers, James and Kyle, myself, and Lani, my baby sister. Our dad is basically a ghost, none of us see him due to him working pretty much 24/7. Since our mom pulled a disappearing act when I was 10, I've been the mother figure in our family. Of course, being a middle child, I don't quite have lead authority, but I work with what I have. After promising Lani her trip to the lake (I swear, she's obsessed with that murky puddle), I sat her down to eat and brought the two other plates to the 2 perpetually closed doors in the house. Knocking lightly on the first, she received, as expected, no response, so she left the plate on the ground in front of the door. Knocking on the second, the tired mumble of Kyle answered, prompting me to open the door and set the plate down gently on his-most likely unused-desk. Wishing him a good morning, I left the room, and headed downstairs to eat my own breakfast. I obviously don't have a lot of alone time and that's why my sleep is so valuable, not that I get much of it.
The dreams first started when I was little, always ending in my getting hurt and heading to the hospital, but as I grew up they got worse, often ending in my unfortunate demise. It gets pretty old watching yourself die so many times. I don't know what started the dreams but I usually chalk it up to anxiety from school or around the house. My mother left us when I was no older than ten and my baby sister not even six yet. Never wrote or sent an email, she virtually disappeared off the face of the Earth. My dad was heartbroken and remained that way for a long time. I stepped up along with my older brothers in taking care of little Lani and the house. It was difficult don't get me wrong, but also very good for me. Now, I'm a sophmore in highschool and great with children. Lani is a bright little sixth grader and not so much my baby girl anymore. Soon, college will be on my mind along with my future, but for now I'm just looking to survive my own mind.
The middle of summer, the best time of any students life right? Wrong. For me, summer is long, hot, and boring. Lani has a blast though and I usually follow her around and keep an eye on her. James and Kyle go off with their own buddies and I don't see them until the next morning at least. So that leaves me, and because I know what you're thinking, yes I do have friends. They just happen to be on vacation this summer.
"Lea!" Lani shouts at me from her spot in the lake, waving her arms frantically. I wave back and give her a smile as she dives beneath the murky surface. I've never been much for lakes, all the unknown items floating about so far beneath the surface. Who knows what's down there, but Lani loves the lake. I take her almost two times every week and even then she begs me to bring her back. She loves to swim just like me, the only difference, I prefer to see where I'm going. Lani swims toward the shore and I see the sunlight bounce off her gorgeous red hair, making her green eyes stand out like emeralds in her pale face. She's the only one in the family to have inherited her red hair and green eyes combination from my great grandmother and she absolutely hates it. She's always wanted my oily blonde hair and blue eyes while I've always wished for her special traits. She grins at me and I stand to pack up my simple lawn chair.
"Have fun sitting here in the hot sun?" She teases.
"Of course." I elbow her and she giggles just before I'm hit in the head by a beach ball.
"Heads up!" A masculine voice says from behind me. I groan inwardly, I know that voice. Jake. I turn toward him, continually rubbing my temple. "Little late there?" I pick up the ball and toss it at his face, unfortunately, he catches it with ease. The smirk left on his faces makes me wish I had a stronger arm.
"Awwww, Lea. Did I hurt you?" He mocks. Lani laughs and walks over to hug him. We've known him forever, he and I actually played together when we were little, doesn't mean I still care. We were bestfriends all through elementary and middle school but when highschool hit he became the jock and me? Well, I became the music loner, headphones in ears and music blaring. He ditched me and I never really forgave him. It was a hard time for me, still parenting and working through every day girl drama. Him ditching me really stung and then in highschool he completely ignored me. Now, with him staring down at me with those hazel eyes, all those feelings of hurt came crashing down all at once. I remember liking him, and wanting him to like me back. Then he dated some other girl, Naomi, and I realized he would never like me.
"....Lea?" It was Lani's voice that reached me first. I looked over at her, still leaning on Jake, and sighed.
"Come on Lani, we have errands to run." I gesture for her to follow and head up the dirt path toward the parking lot. I heard the heavy footfalls behind me before I heard his voice.
"Lea," He put a hand on my shoulder forcing me to stop and turn toward him.
"What do you want?" I meant for it to come out strong and passive but instead it came out like a whisper. Darn hormones, my heart sputtered along at a quicker pace than usual at his touch. His gaze softened but he offered no answer. "Well?"
"Just wanted to look at..." He cut off floundering for the right words. "That bump I gave you." His fingers brushed over my temple near the site of a small red bump from his beach ball. "Man, I hit you pretty hard. I'm sorry."
"When have you ever cared?" I scoff and turn toward my car. "Let's go Lani!" I shout before getting in the car and starting the engine. Lani hops in a few seconds later and I peel out of the parking lot, leaving Jake staring at the taillights of my Jeep
I see them, sitting at the table together, making funny faces and laughing. My heart crumbles along with my mood. I feel the cold, steel blade of reality repeatedly jabbing my heart, taking away any last pieces. How did I not see this coming? The cold blade is removed from my chest and I instantly fall to the ground.
I shake awake with a fresh gleam of sweat covering my body. Breathing hard, I remove my covers and head downstairs for a cool drink of water to help calm my nerves.
My dreams are often crazy, and often remind me of just how painful love can be. Who would've thought it could hurt so badly and feel so real, my brain must be out to get me.
"Lea! Can we go to the lake today?" My younger sister called me as I made breakfast for my older brothers, James and Kyle, myself, and Lani, my baby sister. Our dad is basically a ghost, none of us see him due to him working pretty much 24/7. Since our mom pulled a disappearing act when I was 10, I've been the mother figure in our family. Of course, being a middle child, I don't quite have lead authority, but I work with what I have. After promising Lani her trip to the lake (I swear, she's obsessed with that murky puddle), I sat her down to eat and brought the two other plates to the 2 perpetually closed doors in the house. Knocking lightly on the first, she received, as expected, no response, so she left the plate on the ground in front of the door. Knocking on the second, the tired mumble of Kyle answered, prompting me to open the door and set the plate down gently on his-most likely unused-desk. Wishing him a good morning, I left the room, and headed downstairs to eat my own breakfast. I obviously don't have a lot of alone time and that's why my sleep is so valuable, not that I get much of it.
The dreams first started when I was little, always ending in my getting hurt and heading to the hospital, but as I grew up they got worse, often ending in my unfortunate demise. It gets pretty old watching yourself die so many times. I don't know what started the dreams but I usually chalk it up to anxiety from school or around the house. My mother left us when I was no older than ten and my baby sister not even six yet. Never wrote or sent an email, she virtually disappeared off the face of the Earth. My dad was heartbroken and remained that way for a long time. I stepped up along with my older brothers in taking care of little Lani and the house. It was difficult don't get me wrong, but also very good for me. Now, I'm a sophmore in highschool and great with children. Lani is a bright little sixth grader and not so much my baby girl anymore. Soon, college will be on my mind along with my future, but for now I'm just looking to survive my own mind.
The middle of summer, the best time of any students life right? Wrong. For me, summer is long, hot, and boring. Lani has a blast though and I usually follow her around and keep an eye on her. James and Kyle go off with their own buddies and I don't see them until the next morning at least. So that leaves me, and because I know what you're thinking, yes I do have friends. They just happen to be on vacation this summer.
"Lea!" Lani shouts at me from her spot in the lake, waving her arms frantically. I wave back and give her a smile as she dives beneath the murky surface. I've never been much for lakes, all the unknown items floating about so far beneath the surface. Who knows what's down there, but Lani loves the lake. I take her almost two times every week and even then she begs me to bring her back. She loves to swim just like me, the only difference, I prefer to see where I'm going. Lani swims toward the shore and I see the sunlight bounce off her gorgeous red hair, making her green eyes stand out like emeralds in her pale face. She's the only one in the family to have inherited her red hair and green eyes combination from my great grandmother and she absolutely hates it. She's always wanted my oily blonde hair and blue eyes while I've always wished for her special traits. She grins at me and I stand to pack up my simple lawn chair.
"Have fun sitting here in the hot sun?" She teases.
"Of course." I elbow her and she giggles just before I'm hit in the head by a beach ball.
"Heads up!" A masculine voice says from behind me. I groan inwardly, I know that voice. Jake. I turn toward him, continually rubbing my temple. "Little late there?" I pick up the ball and toss it at his face, unfortunately, he catches it with ease. The smirk left on his faces makes me wish I had a stronger arm.
"Awwww, Lea. Did I hurt you?" He mocks. Lani laughs and walks over to hug him. We've known him forever, he and I actually played together when we were little, doesn't mean I still care. We were bestfriends all through elementary and middle school but when highschool hit he became the jock and me? Well, I became the music loner, headphones in ears and music blaring. He ditched me and I never really forgave him. It was a hard time for me, still parenting and working through every day girl drama. Him ditching me really stung and then in highschool he completely ignored me. Now, with him staring down at me with those hazel eyes, all those feelings of hurt came crashing down all at once. I remember liking him, and wanting him to like me back. Then he dated some other girl, Naomi, and I realized he would never like me.
"....Lea?" It was Lani's voice that reached me first. I looked over at her, still leaning on Jake, and sighed.
"Come on Lani, we have errands to run." I gesture for her to follow and head up the dirt path toward the parking lot. I heard the heavy footfalls behind me before I heard his voice.
"Lea," He put a hand on my shoulder forcing me to stop and turn toward him.
"What do you want?" I meant for it to come out strong and passive but instead it came out like a whisper. Darn hormones, my heart sputtered along at a quicker pace than usual at his touch. His gaze softened but he offered no answer. "Well?"
"Just wanted to look at..." He cut off floundering for the right words. "That bump I gave you." His fingers brushed over my temple near the site of a small red bump from his beach ball. "Man, I hit you pretty hard. I'm sorry."
"When have you ever cared?" I scoff and turn toward my car. "Let's go Lani!" I shout before getting in the car and starting the engine. Lani hops in a few seconds later and I peel out of the parking lot, leaving Jake staring at the taillights of my Jeep