Colin Brand
07-20-2015, 11:46 AM
While camping this weekend I was sitting on a hillside and thought about writing this one. I could really use some help with my descriptions so any input you guys would like to give me would be great. Thanks in advance. I feel like I need a stronger beginning/ending and more vivid imagery in this one. Let me know what you guys think and what you think I should change.
I stare out into the midnight sky,
an abyss lit by a starry night.
A wisp of light shoots across my eye.
A lightning bug has taken flight.
At the edge of the ravine chimes another light,
a symphony of tiny bugs have begun to play.
One by one, but not at the same time,
in imperfect harmony,
softly and slowly caressing my every sense.
Neon green lights scatter across an open field,
on and off they shine,
floating through the ambient air.
Each one a small crystalline flask,
glittering; a bombardment of miniature fireworks.
That's when you know a lightning bug has taken flight.
I stare out into the midnight sky,
an abyss lit by a starry night.
A wisp of light shoots across my eye.
A lightning bug has taken flight.
At the edge of the ravine chimes another light,
a symphony of tiny bugs have begun to play.
One by one, but not at the same time,
in imperfect harmony,
softly and slowly caressing my every sense.
Neon green lights scatter across an open field,
on and off they shine,
floating through the ambient air.
Each one a small crystalline flask,
glittering; a bombardment of miniature fireworks.
That's when you know a lightning bug has taken flight.