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Lurpako
07-11-2015, 07:38 PM
Hey guys,

Erm i've never ever written any sort of story before so thought i would give it a shot. It's probably awful by your standards and if it is fair enough. I won't do it again! Basically this is opening an introduction to how the holy grail came across. Like i say im rather skeptical of it being any good as i have no experience. I just like to try new things. Any way.......

The Holy Grail

The Holy Grail what does it mean? To some people it's merely apart of Arthurian literature, but to some people it's something much more personal....

As a young boy Graham Tomkins didn't really know what to do with his life, does he do this, does he do that, does he follow the crowd or does he just simply follow his own path?
He went all the way through school asking himself these questions until one day he decided to do the latter. He decided to call it The Holy Grail.

The Holy Grail to Graham was built on one thing and one thing only; success is built on how happy you are, not by earning mega bucks and working 70 hours a week. For Graham, his way of being happy and therefore successful was to find that one girl who could quite simply take his breath away.

But how did Graham get to the point of the Holy Grail? Graham had a pretty rebellious start to secondary school, being quite loud mouthed and suffering from what can only be called an attitude problem, it didn't take Graham long to get into trouble with the teachers at school. Graham pushed his luck everyday, turning up late to class, bunking off or just generally being the class clown. Then the defining moment in his journey. It was chilly November morning and Graham's Georgraphy class had just started. The teacher was giving an introduction to a new chapter, when Graham decided it would be a good idea to throw a bunch of scrunch up paper at the head of his good friend on the opposite side of the room. This caught the attention of the teacher who then ordered Graham out of the room, Graham being Graham decided to unreasonably stand his ground and not give in to the teacher. A shouting match prevailed which ended up with Graham saying some not so nice things to his teacher. The teacher ran out of the room in tears, only to return 5 mnutes later with the headmaster. The headmaster summoned Graham to his office where he began reviewing Graham's disciplinary record to look at the options to him. The headmaster decided to suspend Graham from school as well as move him to different classes, citing bad influences from Graham's close friends in class.

A week later Graham returned to school, he was put in his new class and began looking around at his fresh faced fellow pupils, Graham sat in the corner of the class and was hit immediately with the feeling of isolation and loneliness as the whole class turned their backs on him. The next four years flew by, whilst his disciplinary record massively improved his mental state of mind began to decline. Being neglected by his fellow class mates had taken it's toll on Graham, and left him feeling worthless and in need of social attention.
The feeling got so bad for Graham that he decided the reason he was ignored so much by his fellow classmates was because he was not worth anything to anyone anymore. The night he realized this was the night he decided to pop a couple of blisters of asprins in his mouth. As he popped the pills and laid back Graham felt he had done right by everyone else. The room began to become fuzzy, seconds later Graham passed out.

Graham woke up a few days later surrounded by family and a few close friends, dazed and confused he realized just how lucky he was to be alive. Graham left the hospital days later to recover fully at home. He quickly realized that there was more to life than being the class clown or a suicidal depressive, he realized that to have a good life you had to be successful. He began looking at people close to him, starting with his dad. His dad, Robert, had held down an electrician's job at a local firm for over 25 years, had paid off the mortgage on the house, had 3 kids with a wife he loves deeply and reveled in the family lifestyle. His mum, Janet, had quit work to become a at home wife taking great pride in the family household keeping it immaculate. She loved her kids to the moon and back and gave them everything she could. Graham noticed that while they didn't have the upper class lifestyle consisting of Mercedes, 6 bedroom house, they had 2 of the most important thing they could ever have.... love and family.

Having taken inspiration from this Graham began thinking about what it was he wanted to be as happy. After much thinking Graham decided that the most important thing was to find love, just like his parents did. He called this 'mission' The Holy Grail.

Marie Sarah
07-14-2015, 11:59 PM
Very nice! I enjoyed it. And don't worry about the quality of it, we all start somewhere. (But it was actually really good so don't undersell yourself!)
I only have one quick suggestion for you though:


The Holy Grail to Graham was built on one thing and one thing only; success is built on how happy you are, not by earning mega bucks and working 70 hours a week. For Graham, his way of being happy and therefore successful was to find that one girl who could quite simply take his breath away.

To me, the way this is worded could suggest that "success" is answering the one thing The Holy Grail is built on according to Graham. Is that what you intended? If not, I suggest rewording it a little bit. Also be careful your tenses all remain the same. Try not to switch back and forth from "was" and "is" etc.

But either way, I liked this! It was enjoyable to read. Thanks for sharing. :)