rishi
06-27-2015, 04:08 AM
Why?
The skies was rumbled by lightning . earth was riddled by heavy rain and yet her thirst seemed to be unquenched . it was cold and calm even though with the murmuring of raindrops and whistling of the wind was disturbing . neither the coldness of rain nor the warmth of bed seemed to soothe my agony .
I kept looking at the raindrops that rolled down the window pane , wishing If I could be somewhere else . after all reality rarely grants your wishes . but for now the only good thing I could do was to look away from reality rather than embracing it , as my mind still couldn’t accept what was happening to me . they say good deeds brings happiness , abiding law makes you secure , upholding morality makes you pure . they said the world was fair and god existed . but when I am lying here tortured in agony , teared down by the wrath of lust and cruelty nothing I learned , nothing I heard didn’t made sense . in the tight clutch of masculinity I was weak and help-less . I wanted to scream out loud , but my voice never got past my throat . I wanted to defend myself but my body wasn’t strong as my will . fate just shoved it down my throat even without thinking how should I live with myself after this . I am somebody’s daughter , I am somebody’s sister , I am somebody’s lover , I am a woman . I am nature . yet here I am helplessly watching my virginity being taken away . I was violated , I was damaged , I felt vulnerable , I was being raped .
Time dragged as slowly as it can as one minute seemed like an hour . when in need , where was the laws ? where was the morality ? where was conscience ? if someone here had a conscience this wouldn’t be happening right now . where was the gods ? are they being silent spectators when my every sense of normality was being taken away ? Krishna didn’t came to help when my clothes were torn away by hands of lust . he stood smiling in the picture framed on the wall as he always does . conscience didn’t stop that man from being an animal enough to take away what was precious for me . nothing came to my rescue . they all stood watching silently with their hands tied behind their back .when my body was forced against my will , when I had no choice but to remain still in front of the strength of masculinity , when my downwards was screaming with pain I wondered what I did to deserve this kind of aggression ? I wasn’t just a piece of blood and meat . I was aware and I was alive .
This day will be the most happiest day for some , for some it might be a bad day , for some this day might be the most important day of their life . but for me today is the day on which my ideals were shattered , my entire perspective of the world was flipped out . everything I kept close to me from my privacy to my honour was being taken away . I didn’t even knew how I was going to look myself at the mirror . my beauty wasn’t beauty anymore . it was ugliness . is it my mistake that I was a woman ? I wasn’t strong enough to defend myself ? or is it just a sadistic way of god to make me realize how helpless I am . I didn’t know . I could see the rain drops rolling down the window pane as tears was rolling down my cheeks . I had so many questions unanswered , above of all one remained . the one question for what I should definitely know the answer . WHY ?
The skies was rumbled by lightning . earth was riddled by heavy rain and yet her thirst seemed to be unquenched . it was cold and calm even though with the murmuring of raindrops and whistling of the wind was disturbing . neither the coldness of rain nor the warmth of bed seemed to soothe my agony .
I kept looking at the raindrops that rolled down the window pane , wishing If I could be somewhere else . after all reality rarely grants your wishes . but for now the only good thing I could do was to look away from reality rather than embracing it , as my mind still couldn’t accept what was happening to me . they say good deeds brings happiness , abiding law makes you secure , upholding morality makes you pure . they said the world was fair and god existed . but when I am lying here tortured in agony , teared down by the wrath of lust and cruelty nothing I learned , nothing I heard didn’t made sense . in the tight clutch of masculinity I was weak and help-less . I wanted to scream out loud , but my voice never got past my throat . I wanted to defend myself but my body wasn’t strong as my will . fate just shoved it down my throat even without thinking how should I live with myself after this . I am somebody’s daughter , I am somebody’s sister , I am somebody’s lover , I am a woman . I am nature . yet here I am helplessly watching my virginity being taken away . I was violated , I was damaged , I felt vulnerable , I was being raped .
Time dragged as slowly as it can as one minute seemed like an hour . when in need , where was the laws ? where was the morality ? where was conscience ? if someone here had a conscience this wouldn’t be happening right now . where was the gods ? are they being silent spectators when my every sense of normality was being taken away ? Krishna didn’t came to help when my clothes were torn away by hands of lust . he stood smiling in the picture framed on the wall as he always does . conscience didn’t stop that man from being an animal enough to take away what was precious for me . nothing came to my rescue . they all stood watching silently with their hands tied behind their back .when my body was forced against my will , when I had no choice but to remain still in front of the strength of masculinity , when my downwards was screaming with pain I wondered what I did to deserve this kind of aggression ? I wasn’t just a piece of blood and meat . I was aware and I was alive .
This day will be the most happiest day for some , for some it might be a bad day , for some this day might be the most important day of their life . but for me today is the day on which my ideals were shattered , my entire perspective of the world was flipped out . everything I kept close to me from my privacy to my honour was being taken away . I didn’t even knew how I was going to look myself at the mirror . my beauty wasn’t beauty anymore . it was ugliness . is it my mistake that I was a woman ? I wasn’t strong enough to defend myself ? or is it just a sadistic way of god to make me realize how helpless I am . I didn’t know . I could see the rain drops rolling down the window pane as tears was rolling down my cheeks . I had so many questions unanswered , above of all one remained . the one question for what I should definitely know the answer . WHY ?