Senna
06-23-2015, 07:05 AM
Hi!
I just suddenly felt the need to start writing again. I wrote a short intro to a story I might possibly be writing, but I would really like some feedback. If it's no good, then I don't think I should continue writing it. I'm new on this site so I still don't know how everything works, but I'll just post the into here and I hope some of you will tell me what you think of it (:
Here it goes:
An old legend exists in this town. Some believe it was made up to scare the children to sleep at night, or to keep the young from loitering around the edges of the forest too long after dark. And even though some are convinced that it’s just a fictional story, you’ll come across people who claim they have seen them, that it’s real and scarier than you could ever imagine. Speaking to those people will shake you, because the look in their eyes is so haunted, you might actually start to believe them. In hushed whispers they will speak of their encounters, scared they might be heard and scared that they won’t be spared this time.
Galiche Orwada’s is what they’re called. A term in the Tormenian tongue, a language that has long been extinct. The closest translation to the English we speak today would be: Fairies of death. However, their initial name is still being used. “Look out, or you might lure an Orwada to you” my mother would warn. Back then I would be scared, I would listen to her warning and never come near the edge of the forest after the sun has set.
But no one is safe from the Orwada’s. If they have their mind set on you, you’re doomed. You would know when it has happened again. In the early hours of the morning you would hear wails and cries filled with terror. Then you would see someone sitting outside, they knew that it was too late for them. An Orwada would have left flowers at their doorstep, which meant that their time was up. By the time the flowers had wilted, the deed would have been done.
Or at least, that’s how the legend is told. I have never, in seventeen years, seen something like that happen before. Never have I been woken by terrified screams, never have I seen flowers wilt on anyone’s doorstep. So maybe it is just a story. Maybe. Maybe is what I tell myself, but the feeling that has been tugging on the little parts of my brain tells me otherwise. Ever since I would hear people talk about the Galiche Orwada, my insides would tingle. A tingle that almost resembles a feeling of familiarity.
A tingle. One that I have ignored completely up until now, but that has started gnawing on the inside of my skin. I have always felt that part of the story was missing. There must have been some sort of reason behind it. Why would these creatures bring harm to innocent people? I don’t know where to seek an answer, but I know that I need an explanation.
And that’s why I decided to enter the forest, and see for myself what kind of beings can be found there.
With that decision, without realising it, I turned my whole world upside down.
I just suddenly felt the need to start writing again. I wrote a short intro to a story I might possibly be writing, but I would really like some feedback. If it's no good, then I don't think I should continue writing it. I'm new on this site so I still don't know how everything works, but I'll just post the into here and I hope some of you will tell me what you think of it (:
Here it goes:
An old legend exists in this town. Some believe it was made up to scare the children to sleep at night, or to keep the young from loitering around the edges of the forest too long after dark. And even though some are convinced that it’s just a fictional story, you’ll come across people who claim they have seen them, that it’s real and scarier than you could ever imagine. Speaking to those people will shake you, because the look in their eyes is so haunted, you might actually start to believe them. In hushed whispers they will speak of their encounters, scared they might be heard and scared that they won’t be spared this time.
Galiche Orwada’s is what they’re called. A term in the Tormenian tongue, a language that has long been extinct. The closest translation to the English we speak today would be: Fairies of death. However, their initial name is still being used. “Look out, or you might lure an Orwada to you” my mother would warn. Back then I would be scared, I would listen to her warning and never come near the edge of the forest after the sun has set.
But no one is safe from the Orwada’s. If they have their mind set on you, you’re doomed. You would know when it has happened again. In the early hours of the morning you would hear wails and cries filled with terror. Then you would see someone sitting outside, they knew that it was too late for them. An Orwada would have left flowers at their doorstep, which meant that their time was up. By the time the flowers had wilted, the deed would have been done.
Or at least, that’s how the legend is told. I have never, in seventeen years, seen something like that happen before. Never have I been woken by terrified screams, never have I seen flowers wilt on anyone’s doorstep. So maybe it is just a story. Maybe. Maybe is what I tell myself, but the feeling that has been tugging on the little parts of my brain tells me otherwise. Ever since I would hear people talk about the Galiche Orwada, my insides would tingle. A tingle that almost resembles a feeling of familiarity.
A tingle. One that I have ignored completely up until now, but that has started gnawing on the inside of my skin. I have always felt that part of the story was missing. There must have been some sort of reason behind it. Why would these creatures bring harm to innocent people? I don’t know where to seek an answer, but I know that I need an explanation.
And that’s why I decided to enter the forest, and see for myself what kind of beings can be found there.
With that decision, without realising it, I turned my whole world upside down.