Why Correct English Grammar Is Important for Space Aliens

[WolfLarsen]

Why Correct English Grammar Is Important for Space Aliens
a God-Knows-What by Wolf Larsen

WARNING: SEX! WATCH OUT!

I was immigrating to a space alien’s brains that had been implanted in a dog. Suddenly the ground left me for a very important verb, and falling into the reader’s brains I discover Woody Allen having sex with all of the trees growing in the reader’s brains. I chop down all the trees in the reader’s brains with Idi Amin’s penis, and then I declare myself to be the best ketchup ever! Apparently, somebody forgot their giant container ship in the reader’s brains — how it got in there I don’t know — but somebody is missing a giant container ship!

I still don’t have enough dandelions for all the fish, but that’s just fine with all the snails crawling along the sentences. Whenever I kiss her thousands of vaginas I think of fire trucks on other planets. This might have something to do with walking hell through all the butter & margarine I don’t know. But somebody else has got to grow a penis!

Copyright 2015 by Wolf Larsen

[YesNo]

I know a lawn where you can get more dandelions.

[WolfLarsen]

I know a lawn where you can get more dandelions.

ha ha ha ha ha ha!

[WolfLarsen]

Correct Grammar Is Important for Space Aliens, Part Two
A Whoopsee by Wolf Larsen

Too much,,, Apocalypse! Miracle whip? Naked body? ///Nobody...?, Bellringing & ringing & ringing & ringing – – – beer! !

Tomorrow we will tomorrow. Yesterday we will do some yesterday. The day after that too many tomorrows will become too many yesterdays and...

Being bot Boop. No,,, Waaaaaaaaaaaiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiittttttttt ttttt,

where’s the, what’s the, Huh?

?/,.! Tomorrow

!,/?, Yesterday! Too much yesterday! ....... Tarantulas!

Hello computer waffles – – –...? No? No everything,,,...///Because knows too much everything, there is no everything? There is no everything! There is no everything,,,

long-distance spiders, too many spermatozoa for one blue sky,/! Gypsies,!

Love you? Love you! Love you./, Love,/?! Love —loooooooooooooooooooove

?

The sky

?

No

!

Are you

?

Copyright 2015

[YesNo]

Delightfully plot-less, unless there was a plot that I missed when yesterday did yesterday.

[WolfLarsen]

Warning: Puritans may find the following work to be offensive. Thank you so much for your understanding.

Yesterday Did Yesterday
A Homoerotic Mixture of Two Organs, Six Kangaroos, One Cello, Five Well-Hung Midgets, and 18 Violins
by Wolf Larsen

Yesterday did yesterday, because penis explosions,//.! Wow, and that’s how the relish became the sky that became your orgasm that became 10,000 dandelions all growing on your front lawn,//!!... WoW can I have some more of that stuff?!?, Snort snort!,!

When the trees are the kangaroos and the kangaroos jump out of the English teachers mouth and urinate & **** all over the gods drooling all over the walls...,//!...,’

‘!, When the music is your masturbation-masturbation-masturbation,///,..!

Now it’s time to buy a brand-new car!

And it’s time for a car chase, , !’ Blam blam blam, hello? Stop, hello, police! Snort snort!

Let’s try a different brand of deodorant.

Copyright 2015 by Wolf Larsen

[YesNo]

I don't know why people like car chases. The most interesting car chase I ever watched on live TV was when O. J. Simpson was being pursued in slow motion. What were those guys doing in Fast and Furious 7, 6, 5, 4, 3, 2, 1 just prior to taking off? I think they were shifting into first or was it second or third gear? It has been so long since I used a manual transmission.

[WolfLarsen]

Penises & Spaceships
a recipe for deranged parrot soup
by Wolf Larsen

I just feel like pulling my penis out of all my hundreds of spaceships!

Today’s just one of those days where the spaceships are all just flying out of the mirror. I wish I could find my nose. You see, somebody hid my face.

Fortunately, I can borrow a face from one of the decapitated heads in the refrigerator. Their brains taste so good!

The vaginas fly out of the brains!

The refrigerator is always trying to walk away from me. But sometimes the women let me kiss their feet. Kissing women’s feet is the best expression of one’s love for literature!

It’s time to release all the belly buttons from the airplanes! It’s time to have orgasms inside of our computers! Meanwhile, a really deranged parrot outside is screaming and screaming and screaming while I write this.

Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!


Copyright 2015 by Wolf Larsen

[YesNo]

Didn't that guy in Silence of the Lambs say that brains taste like chicken? I can't remember. They say frog's legs taste like chicken. I wouldn't know. I suspect chicken tastes like chicken. The next question, though, is does chicken actually taste "good".

I could not find the recipe for deranged parrot soup. It would be nice to have it handy just in case.

[WolfLarsen]

The Boing Boing Boing Needs to Boom Boom Boom!
A Fnippaa-Zwoonk-P000ingggg by Wolf Larsen

Warning: watch out for sex! If you are against sex, or are very religious, you may wish to stop reading now! You have been warned.

Just when you think you have found the ground it disappears on you! You can flacka flacka flacka with the schmip-fwaap-whoops, but then what soda pop to drink? Achooo! But even then the blam blam blam goes f00pedy-doo with your shoe. And that’s bad, which is good!

So too many penises are not the answer! Because too many penises are the answer!

And that’s why I’d like to announce: GaZackaClackaBoiing! Poing Poing Poing!

Because there’s not enough toilet paper! Because there’s not enough milk! Because the strawberries in your penis!

So let’s sing a disco church choir to all the big penis walruses in the sea! So let’s dwaddle a fnoopy with a Scilly do bop! You know what I mean?

We need more slogans! We need more feet for all the people! More pedophile priests for all the hallelujah! More battleships for the fish! More scrambled eggs for all the clouds!

More sadness! More blood! More sneezes!

Without more sneezes how can we bless the food?

More noble peace prizes for war criminals, for how else can we wipe our asses? Because if we don’t wipe our donkeys with toilet paper then we can use the rich man’s money from the bailouts to wipe our donkeys!

Vote for more asses! Vote for more elephants! Vote for more fish in the sea!

An *** for President! An *** for noble peace prize! A black *** is more progressive than a white ***!

**** your birds! **** your airplanes! Play margarine with all your sexy feet! Because if millions of madmen are not kissing your sexy feet then how can we save the world from terrorists?? The terrorists are threatening the supply of toilet paper! Did you know that? Huh? I bet you didn’t know that! Code orange! Code blue! Code pee in your pants! Let’s spy on everybody now! Why not? I have a rock in my shoe!

Do you prefer a big fat elephant with white skin? Or do you prefer an *** with black skin? How about an *** with a vagina? How about a Latino elephant? What, you didn’t know that elephants could be Latino?

But I lost my give a **** on Mars! I lost my give a **** trying to have anal sex with an ostrich on Pluto. Pluto is where there’s lots of toilet paper, lots & lots of toilet paper! I like toilet paper! I will wait in line for hours & hours to buy toilet paper! Down with the terrorists and their plans to destroy American values of lots & lots of toilet paper! Diabetes now! Have a cup/can/bottle of diabetes and a smile!

So a big hug for “socialist” slogans to kiss the *** of an ***! So a big immaculate conception for capitalism! Give me herpes now! Give me leprechauns riding unicorns! Vote for the feet fetish party! Why don’t we have a feet fetish party?? It’s time for a feet fetish party!

Do you have enough toenails for your feet? Do you have enough foreclosures on your street? Do you have two elbows? How about a yacht? Would you like a military intervention with that? Let’s blow up all the pelicans with predator drones, now now now! I hate pelicans!

What if you suddenly grew a penis between your legs, and you forgot your vagina at home? What if they raised the minimum wage to $20 million a year? Which is what my boss makes for playing golf and ****ing his secretary. I wonder how my boss’s golf game is going? Has he given his pretty secretary herpes yet?

These are the questions which all of the froooping frogs in the rainforest want to know. They want to know so bad! It’s time for more political speeches! More political speeches to all the froooping frogs in the rainforest! More sewer covers for all the clouds! More traffic lights for all the newborn babies! How else do you expect gravity to disappear??

F00ka-Muuka-Schnnuuunnuuukaa!

You know what I mean?!


Copyright 2015 by Wolf Larsen

Advance permission is given to others to publish and distribute this work as long as credit is given to the author Wolf Larsen, the work is not edited or changed in any manner, and the purpose of such publication & distribution is not hostile.

[WolfLarsen]

Statement of Crack Cocaine Hieroglyphics to All the Eyeballs in My Belly Button
A statement by His Orgasmic Majesty Wolf Larsen, the Illiterate Messiah of Literature

Warning: some sexual imagery. If you are very religious or allergic to sex please stop reading at once. You have been warned!


All dogs & cats are to be eaten by midnight!

Steel mills are the new standard in beauty! All steel mills must be fitted with breasts at once!

The time has come for all penguins to be worshiped as messengers from God!

All poetry shall be written with abstract expressionism exploding out of our penises & testicles!

Everyone should be everyone! Everything should be everything!

All poetry shall hereby be written according to the rhythms of traffic lights!

All manuscripts of literary criticism shall hereby be used as toilet paper!

Everyone should assemble in the main plaza of their city and burn all their clothes at once!

All wet dreams must hereby be reported to the Bureau of Wet Dreams!

Nobody should be everybody!

It’s time for the nakedness of mechanical engineering to become our quacking duck!

Congress shall be full of quacking ducks, as shall all other political offices!

All proclamations shall hereby be written in the blood of sexual pagan sacrifices at City Hall!

Please have an orgasmic day!


Copyright 2015 by Wolf Larsen

[MANICHAEAN]

Why a meretricious inamorata / inamorato should result in a consuegros en beaute I cannot garner.

Perhaps it can be described by the scholastic word "vulgaris"

But who is to judge the butt of these literary peregrinations?

If exponential; they are either arcane, or in a somnolent state of desuetude, arcane in concept.