Biggus
04-04-2015, 04:16 AM
ARE YOU WEARING ERMINE?
Are you wearing Ermine?
Oh Charles put the robe down
Wearing it doesn’t mean a thing
You will never wear the crown
21st CENTURY NURSERY RHYMES # 350
On top of Old Smoky,
All covered with snow
The great sleeping giant
Was ready to blow
ARE YOU WEARING AN EASTER JUMPER?
Are you wearing an Easter Jumper?
Well its contents look rather bumper
But you really don’t need a bigger size
It fits them perfectly if I may apprise
MY ONCE SWEET WIFE HAS BECOME MEAN
My once sweet wife has become mean
And short tempered thanks to the menopause
I try to be sympathetic but on her really bad days
I think it’s more like the mental pause
IF THE ADVICE FOR A MAN WHO HAS LOST
If the advice for a man who has lost
Interest in sex is to see a doctor
What would the advice be if
The sufferer is actually a doctor?
MY MUM GAVE ME THE SEX TALK
My mum gave me the sex talk
And during it she told me what to do
“You don’t have to put anything
In your mouth that you don’t want to”
Well I thought about it for a while
And then I stopped eating tofu
MY WIFE HAS PUT ME ON A VERY STRICT DIET
My wife has put me on a very strict diet
And eating before bed has been discouraged
But if we weren’t meant to have midnight snacks
Then why is there a light on in the fridge
THE VET SAID
The vet said “Your Pekinese will keep vomiting,
But it’s your choice
To continue to keep talking to the creature
In that stupid gooey voice”
IF YOUR DAUGHTER WANTS A BIRTHDAY PARTY
If your daughter wants a birthday party
At home, make it Cinderella themed
That way you can be the wicked queen
And the guests can keep the house clean
ARE YOU WEARING EASTER CHICKS?
Are you wearing Easter chicks?
They’re precious little honeys
But I have to be honest
I much prefer your bunnies
Are you wearing Ermine?
Oh Charles put the robe down
Wearing it doesn’t mean a thing
You will never wear the crown
21st CENTURY NURSERY RHYMES # 350
On top of Old Smoky,
All covered with snow
The great sleeping giant
Was ready to blow
ARE YOU WEARING AN EASTER JUMPER?
Are you wearing an Easter Jumper?
Well its contents look rather bumper
But you really don’t need a bigger size
It fits them perfectly if I may apprise
MY ONCE SWEET WIFE HAS BECOME MEAN
My once sweet wife has become mean
And short tempered thanks to the menopause
I try to be sympathetic but on her really bad days
I think it’s more like the mental pause
IF THE ADVICE FOR A MAN WHO HAS LOST
If the advice for a man who has lost
Interest in sex is to see a doctor
What would the advice be if
The sufferer is actually a doctor?
MY MUM GAVE ME THE SEX TALK
My mum gave me the sex talk
And during it she told me what to do
“You don’t have to put anything
In your mouth that you don’t want to”
Well I thought about it for a while
And then I stopped eating tofu
MY WIFE HAS PUT ME ON A VERY STRICT DIET
My wife has put me on a very strict diet
And eating before bed has been discouraged
But if we weren’t meant to have midnight snacks
Then why is there a light on in the fridge
THE VET SAID
The vet said “Your Pekinese will keep vomiting,
But it’s your choice
To continue to keep talking to the creature
In that stupid gooey voice”
IF YOUR DAUGHTER WANTS A BIRTHDAY PARTY
If your daughter wants a birthday party
At home, make it Cinderella themed
That way you can be the wicked queen
And the guests can keep the house clean
ARE YOU WEARING EASTER CHICKS?
Are you wearing Easter chicks?
They’re precious little honeys
But I have to be honest
I much prefer your bunnies