Old West Refined with Color

[virtuoso]

Dawn of color
Gilded prairie dust
Crusty tumbleweed
rolled into mocha-lined wheels
Scarfs bearing the rust of the trail
achromatic shade of black & white
morphed into bright-colored bandanas
glossy ornaments embroidered
on the standard-issue woolen shirts
Protruding from death's shadows,
the gray veil was lifted,
ghostly emanation transformed,
center-framed squaring the odds,
a gun slinger's jet black vest
emblazoned on puffed chest
pearly-white handles on pewter grade
pistols his calling card
slow but steady gait
traced by silver spurs
sun's glint winking at the bravado
glitterati of reward poster
embossed in his jealous eyes
eyes that glowed steely green
In the background traipsed
madams in blue-frilled dresses
that swung from haunch to haunch
chalky powder-puffed cheeks
alkaline trail leading to cheap thrills
cherry-coated lips dripping with poison--
liquor gulps and cowboy saliva,
rushing past the drawn cavalcade
hitched horses, bucking broncos
Palominos, Appaloosas, Mustangs
lacquered trim coating raucous set

[YesNo]

As I think of it those old western movies in black and white would have been better in color.

[virtuoso]

That is very true, yesno. In the early 1950's, with the advent of color, we were able to see some of the Western movies in color. That is the transition that I was describing in the poem. Also, many of the older, black & white movies and TV shows have been colorized over the last twenty years or so. Thanks for stopping by and reminiscing with me!

[tailor STATELY]

Enjoyed very much.

I scanned this initially as a rap (prolly influenced from watching "100 Greatest Songs of the 90's" just now), which is odd since rap just isn't in my makeup. I hope you don't mind.

On further analysis the word play works well for me; your colorization effort a success.

Your judicious use of rhyme shines through.

Perhaps a comma is not necessary w/ "background, traipsed" IMHO @ L24.

"beige-almond" may be redundant.

Typo w/ bandanas @ L&7 http://www.thefreedictionary.com/bandanna. I might have reversed the order of bandannas and scarfs in L5/L7; and then used the alternate plural of scarf.

"alkaline trail leading to cheap thrills"... this line IMHO needs a little attention: trails? and a little less minimalistic touch perhaps. Worst cast: dropping this line entirely.

My favorite segment: " traipsed
madams in blue-frilled dresses
that swung from haunch to haunch
chalky powder-puffed cheeks
...
cherry-coated lips dripping with poison--
liquor gulps and cowboy saliva"

Ta ! (short for tarradiddle),
tailor STATELY

[virtuoso]

Thanks, Tailor for stopping by and providing a helpful critique. The similar, dual-color reference was, indeed, redundant. I have deleted it, and replaced it with a modern-wheel analogy. Also, I have extracted the unnecessary comma in line 24. I prefer the scarf to come before the bandana, because bandanas seem to be more decorative and more prevalent in the colored Old Westerns (moving from dull, dingy scarfs to brightly-colored bandanas).

I guess if you follow the Reader Response theory, then you can make this a Rap song. To each reader, his own interpretation! I, also, like the description of the femme fatales in the latter portion of the poem!

[tailor STATELY]

Oops: bandanas>bandannas; unless you're suing for poetic license (lol).


I guess if you follow the Reader Response theory, then you can make this a Rap song. To each reader, his own interpretation!
(lol)2 My point about the rap scanning was I was influenced by listening to some rap in a top 100 countdown at the moment I came upon your poem whilst shreddin' some threads. My analysis came after I came to my senses.

"rolled into mocha-lined wheels" a wonderful hand here.

Ta ! (short for tarradiddle),
tailor STATELY

[virtuoso]

I looked up bandanas, and it seems to be spelled correctly! It can be spelled either way! An interesting symbiosis with your rap time!

[tailor STATELY]

re: bandana......... I stand corrected ! My spell checker flagged it... updating... now!

Ta ! (short for tarradiddle),
tailor STATELY

[virtuoso]

I have seen it spelled both ways. My spell checker flagged it as well. Luckily, I remembered it could be spelled either way. I just think that it looks more natural with one 'n'. It is a shame we do not have the same alternative spellings with other words!