Calm - dedicated to Goethe

[NikolaiI]

How can we calm ourselves down?
11 years ago

I wished to calm a nation
bent on the eve of war -

to my consternation
my tears were in vain -

and away they leapt
- in retaliation? -

Today, it is nothing.
In the infinite light of life, bring

me a psalm to sing -
that ends our suffering.

How can we calm down?
I think we both know how.

Nothing has ever been hidden -
The sun has always been in view.

Of earth's rotations, quite a few
Have been in the Garden of Eden.

If to war they would persist -
Until forever we will resist.

[Hawkman]

Hello again.

I'm afraid tis piece has a number of issues. Firstly, the question at the beginning and the "11 years ago", function as a superfluous introduction. They are not part of the piece. Secondly, the rhythm is too jolly for the subject, and the word choices, when combined with some irregular and sometimes dubious rhyming (as well as excessive 'ings') create a naive comic effect which hacks away at the foundations. Consequently, it doesn't work as satire or serious comment. It lacks the required irony for satire.

I'd also question how it is possible to be "bent on the eve of war". Bent on war is all you need here. The earth's rotations in the Garden of Eden, conjures up a picture of a spinning globe under a tree with a snake in it. You need "spent in" here for the line to make sense.

The niaivety does have a certain charm but it's difficult to take the piece seriously. The logs in the river have more to offer.

Live and be well - H

[NikolaiI]

Bent means you are not straight - how is it possible to be bent on the eve of war? Um, quite possible -

Bent means you are screwed up - like, "get bent"

I am not afraid, but I will say you misunderstood entirely; however that is okay. Thanks for your comment.

May you always be safe and well.