Biggus
03-18-2015, 04:35 AM
ARE YOU WEARING A MANKINI?
Are you wearing a mankini?
Well the coverage is teeny
And you’re as fat as Mussolini
And I can see you’re weeny
AN OSTRICH'S EYE IS BIGGER
An ostrich's eye is bigger
Than its brain, apparently
I have known quite a few
People afflicted similarly
YOU KNOW WHEN YOU ARE CLAPPED OUT
You know when you are clapped out
And not vital any more
When the doc tells you
To slow down instead of the law
ARE SAFARI PARKS DISCRIMINATORY?
Are Safari parks discriminatory?
Yes they most certainly are
Because they make no attempt
To accommodate those without a car
SHE WAS MARRIED TO HIM
She was married to him
For three years, just over
And didn't know he drank
Until he came home sober
HAPPINESS TRANSACTION
Money can't buy you happiness
Isn’t that supposed to be the deal?
Well I beg to differ, because
I bought myself a Happy Meal
AN AFFAIR OF THE HEART
An affair of the heart
And at my age too
Well yes I know it’s
A bypass that’s true
AS THEY STOOD BEFORE THE ALTAR
As they stood before the altar
At the proudest moment of their life
The Reverend said “I now pronounce
You Husband and Wife”
“You may now update your Facebook status”
A MAN AT THE PRESS CONFERENCE
A man at the press conference,
Stood up at the podium,
Not one of the lycra clad blokes,
And declared he was spokesman
Asked to clarify he said
“I’m the man in charge of spokes”
21st CENTURY NURSERY RHYMES # 346
As I was going by Charing Cross
The station was closed of course
And a sign said outside of the station
A replacement bus service is in operation
Are you wearing a mankini?
Well the coverage is teeny
And you’re as fat as Mussolini
And I can see you’re weeny
AN OSTRICH'S EYE IS BIGGER
An ostrich's eye is bigger
Than its brain, apparently
I have known quite a few
People afflicted similarly
YOU KNOW WHEN YOU ARE CLAPPED OUT
You know when you are clapped out
And not vital any more
When the doc tells you
To slow down instead of the law
ARE SAFARI PARKS DISCRIMINATORY?
Are Safari parks discriminatory?
Yes they most certainly are
Because they make no attempt
To accommodate those without a car
SHE WAS MARRIED TO HIM
She was married to him
For three years, just over
And didn't know he drank
Until he came home sober
HAPPINESS TRANSACTION
Money can't buy you happiness
Isn’t that supposed to be the deal?
Well I beg to differ, because
I bought myself a Happy Meal
AN AFFAIR OF THE HEART
An affair of the heart
And at my age too
Well yes I know it’s
A bypass that’s true
AS THEY STOOD BEFORE THE ALTAR
As they stood before the altar
At the proudest moment of their life
The Reverend said “I now pronounce
You Husband and Wife”
“You may now update your Facebook status”
A MAN AT THE PRESS CONFERENCE
A man at the press conference,
Stood up at the podium,
Not one of the lycra clad blokes,
And declared he was spokesman
Asked to clarify he said
“I’m the man in charge of spokes”
21st CENTURY NURSERY RHYMES # 346
As I was going by Charing Cross
The station was closed of course
And a sign said outside of the station
A replacement bus service is in operation