Tonight Is The Night

[MystyrMystyry]

Tonight is the night
Where we are swallowed by the giant whale
Sucked up like krill
Filtered according to our particular misdeeds

Tonight is the night
Where we shake hands with the billionaires
Who will fix in person
Painfully our ingrown toenails rather than pay

Tonight is the night
Where we walk through forests of childhood
Now reduced to desert
Because we were too busy to make a stand

Tonight is the night
Where we meet popstars and movie idols
Out of fashion and

Grown old


All grown old

Tonight is the night

[MystyrMystyry]

This was a bunch of nightmares I suffered the night before Friday 13. So it was a sort of Friday 13 tribute really. Thanks for reading it everyone :)

[cacian]

Mystyr this is a great descriptive
I like the repeat of
tonight is the hight

the last stanza is cool.
when you say a bunch of nightmares
did you actually dream these?

[MystyrMystyry]

Thankyou Cacian :)

Yes I actually, well, nightmared them. A bad night with various upheavals in my conscienxe, and perhaps a bit too much parmesan on my bolognaise

[YesNo]

I enjoyed the slow "grown old" repeated at the end.

"Nightmaring" something is an amusing way to describe the source. I think "nightmare" deserves to have a verb like "dream" does.

[AuntShecky]

My only suggestion: change the "where"s to "when"s.

Other than that, this is one of your best.

Nice to see you on the NitLet again. Don't be a stranger.

Your kindred spirit,
Auntie

[Bar22do]

It's one of those mornings I can finally access PP for a moment and read your latest very good poem. .. It makes me feel uneasy, you speak out my thoughts... but you do it with beauty.

"... and
grown old
all grown old," IMHO, is somewhat redundant and weakens the powerful popstars' stanza ("out of fashion" alone is stronger and tells it all), but otherwise this poem is one of my favourite amongs those you wrote.

Be well,

Bar

[MystyrMystyry]

Thankyou YesNo :)

[MystyrMystyry]

Thankyou Aunty :)

Are you sure about that suggestion? The otherness of poetry is often in the bending of language, even using the vernacular 'wrongness' to create a jolt, wouldn't you say?

[MystyrMystyry]

Thankyou Bar22do :)