L'attente

[Gatsby11]

Tried deleting the post but it's apparently not possible, so this is the next best thing.

[hounddog905]

I have to be honest, I really struggled to get through this story. The paragraphs are quite long with many run-on sentences. It would have been easier to get through had you added a space between each paragraph to help with the readability when posting on the forum. I also find the descriptive passages excessive and verbose and this, I find, really stifles the pace and flow of the story.

[Steven Hunley]

I have to be honest, I really struggled to get through this story. The paragraphs are quite long with many run-on sentences. It would have been easier to get through had you added a space between each paragraph to help with the readability when posting on the forum. I also find the descriptive passages excessive and verbose and this, I find, really stifles the pace and flow of the story.

It's not going to fly well in the 21st century. Why use two words to describe something when you can use one?