Biggus
03-04-2015, 04:41 AM
21st CENTURY NURSERY RHYMES # 364
King and Queen of Cantelon,
How many miles to Babylon?
Well that would depend upon
Where you are starting from
IF YOUR BLIND DATE IS DESCRIBED TO YOU # 10
If your blind date is described to you
As “A Good Listener” don’t go all romantic
Because it will be worse than it sounds
And they’ll be Borderline Autistic
ARE YOU WEARING A SWEATER VEST?
Are you wearing a sweater vest?
Are you doing some kind of test?
Checking how observant people are
And see who notices this faux pas
THE DEVIL LANDED ON THE CHURCH ROOF
The devil landed on the church roof
The vicar said “Show him your cross”
So the curate went outside and shouted
“Piss off you red horned piece of dross”
IF YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE + 1 CHANNELS
If you are going to have + 1 channels
There should be a – 1 for the viewer
Which would automatically erase anything
You may have recorded in error
FAST FOOD DRIVE THROUGH’S
Fast food Drive through’s
I’m afraid, are a step too far
And I find them quite expensive
By the time you’ve hired a car
DON’T PICK UP HITCHHIKERS
“Don’t pick up hitchhikers”
I was told “don’t do it ever”
Unless of course it was you
Who actually ran them over
IT WAS DURING A CHESS GAME
It was during a Chess game
That I remember him saying
“Let’s make this more interesting”
So we agreed to stop playing
IT’S NOT REALLY ANY COMFORT
It’s not really any comfort
If someone dies while doing
Something that they loved
When they were doing Heroin
AFTER TEN YEARS OF MARRIAGE
After ten years of marriage
I am divorced by choice
Regrettably I have to say
That it wasn’t my choice
King and Queen of Cantelon,
How many miles to Babylon?
Well that would depend upon
Where you are starting from
IF YOUR BLIND DATE IS DESCRIBED TO YOU # 10
If your blind date is described to you
As “A Good Listener” don’t go all romantic
Because it will be worse than it sounds
And they’ll be Borderline Autistic
ARE YOU WEARING A SWEATER VEST?
Are you wearing a sweater vest?
Are you doing some kind of test?
Checking how observant people are
And see who notices this faux pas
THE DEVIL LANDED ON THE CHURCH ROOF
The devil landed on the church roof
The vicar said “Show him your cross”
So the curate went outside and shouted
“Piss off you red horned piece of dross”
IF YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE + 1 CHANNELS
If you are going to have + 1 channels
There should be a – 1 for the viewer
Which would automatically erase anything
You may have recorded in error
FAST FOOD DRIVE THROUGH’S
Fast food Drive through’s
I’m afraid, are a step too far
And I find them quite expensive
By the time you’ve hired a car
DON’T PICK UP HITCHHIKERS
“Don’t pick up hitchhikers”
I was told “don’t do it ever”
Unless of course it was you
Who actually ran them over
IT WAS DURING A CHESS GAME
It was during a Chess game
That I remember him saying
“Let’s make this more interesting”
So we agreed to stop playing
IT’S NOT REALLY ANY COMFORT
It’s not really any comfort
If someone dies while doing
Something that they loved
When they were doing Heroin
AFTER TEN YEARS OF MARRIAGE
After ten years of marriage
I am divorced by choice
Regrettably I have to say
That it wasn’t my choice