Zudonim3
03-01-2015, 01:36 PM
The kingdom of the cats
“What on earth have I gotten myself into this time”
I thought to myself whilst trembling, surrounded by cats.
They were all just staring at me with their furry faces and it was a horrible, horrible sight.
I had fallen down a sewer while trying to grab a 10 dollar bill I had dropped from my hands – don’t ask me how, I don’t even know that myself, it just happened.
As I lay there surrounded by the circle of these wretched furry creatures, they began to make way for what seemed to be their leader.
God damn that was a large cat.
Not like lion sized or anything, but, trust me; it was big.
It was completely white and the cat was actually wearing a crown – yes, the CAT was wearing a CROWN.
How did the cat even place it on it’s head, nevermind obtain it?
The crown looked like it could be really expensive, it had jewelry surrounding it and it kind of resembled the crown used by the English monarchs, it had to be fake – I just couldn’t stop staring at it, the whole scenario was just ridiculous and the crown just made the whole thing surreal.
Someone must have placed the crown on the cats hairy head, but whatever – it was what it was.
The cat stood over me and i was completely tense, just waiting for them all to begin devouring me and scratching my eyes out.
“What is thy business in my dominion, human?”
I just gazed at the white, abnormally large cat for a good 5 seconds and then started slapping myself in the face, trying to wake myself up.
I didn’t wake up – this was real somehow.
The cats looked dumbfounded, including the leader.
I simply could not come to terms with what was happening, but there was no way out of this except to play along so I answered the cat.
“I just f-fell down here through that sewer” and pointed up.
“Ah, I see.” Said the cat in a rather dignified manner – he kind of sounded like Azlan from Narnia, it was pretty neat.
“You… Do understand that we cannot allow you to leave now – you already know too much.”
“I-I promise I won’t tell anybody – I SWEAR MISTER CAT KING, I SWEAR!!”
“I’m afraid that you’ll have to live with us now, human; become a part of our tribe, or else, we will have to… Take measures.”
“Y-yes of course! YES, IŽll learn your ways, I’ll become a good member of your society!”
Of course I wasn’t being serious; I’d rather lie than get devoured by these mysterious beasts.
“Good… Good.” Said the cat with the crown.
“You will learn the code we live by, we call it the MEOW code.”
“The meow code?”
“Yes, it is the code we live by and shall not be broken by any cat.”
“You are of course not a cat, but you will still have to abide to it.”
“YES SIR I WON’T SIR!”
The cats led me through the sewer to their main quarters and there was a bunch of other cats there staring at me, not saying anything – it was as if the leader cat was the only one capable of speech.
“Mittens!” Said the leader “Come here and teach this human the meow code!”
“Meooow”, said Mittens and came running to me.
“Meow meeoow meow meeow meooooow!”
The cat in front of me was actually trying to communicate with me in his native tongue and I just stood there, sweating, what should I do? Pretend to understand the cat or tell the king that I couldn’t speak cat?
“Eh heh… eee – meeeooow?
Every cat now just stared at me and the king looked at me in complete bewilderment.
“I-is that what you really want?”
“Uhm…. yeees?”
I had no idea what was going on at this point.
One of the cats took out a long brass instrument and sounded it, then the cats gathered around.
Oh god, what on earth had I done.
“Fair enough human, I have no choice but to accept your duel then – it is a part of the code.”
“A duel?” I asked in utter confusion.
“Yes, you said the word; which means that now I must fight you to death and defend my dominance and my crown.”
The cats around, beginning to chant a meow and drums began to play a steady beat.
How were the cats even operating the instruments – they have paws, I thought to myself.
2 cats somehow carried the leaders war apparel to him – it was an incredibly sophisticated piece of armor, there was no way they could have crafted that themselves.
I stood there in front of the cat, who, despite being overly large for a cat, was easily not a huge threat to me.
The cat was now fully dressed in it’s armor.
“**** it” I said and awaited for the fight to begin.
There was now silence and a cat on a platform standing next to us said “meow, meow, MEOW!!”
The white leader cat started sprinting towards me in his little armor – kind of a cute sight actually.
he jumped at my face and I was spinning in circles with that cat trying to bite my face off, struggling to try to throw it off me.
I noticed that the cats all around were going crazy and they were jumping and doing summersaults and meowing like the crazy little furry beasts they were.
The white cat firmly attached to me trying to bite my nose.
I was screaming at this point like a woman, making high pitched screams as I was trying to push that crazy animal away from my face.
The cat gave out a brutal meowish warcry and his face was now really mean looking.
I finally managed to throw the cat off me – the cat landed on a large bell that was hanging in the air close by and it made a loud sound when the cat hit it.
I started running away into a tunnel that led out from the large underground chamber.
The cats all started chasing me.
I managed to find a ladder that led upwards – thank god.
I started climbing and the cats were jumping up trying to bite at my leg – I kicked their faces as they did so.
I managed to open up the sewer lid and the exit led up into the wilderness.
I started running like crazy, falling numerous times.
A car came driving on the road that was next to the wilderness I had just come out of.
I stopped in front of the car and waved my hands in desperation.
The car stopped and I asked the man for help, told him I had escaped a captor.
I didn’t want him to think I was crazy by saying I had been held hostage my cats.
The man looked a little weird, but I thought nothing of it.
As we were driving, he was completely silent, not saying anything, just driving – as if saving a hostage from it’s captor was a daily thing for him.
“So, I guess you could just take me to the next police station, that would be great.”
He kept silent and didn’t look at me.
He turned to the right into the forest again
“Excuse me, but where are you going – the town is in the other direction.”
He locked the doors and I knew then and there that i had to get out – this wasn’t right.
I grabbed his shoulder and it didn’t feel like a solid thing, it felt… soft.
I then looked at his face and he had glasses and a hat on, his skin looked very pale.
I backed away from him and looked at him intently, completely freaked out.
“STOP THE ****ING CAR RIGHT NOW!” I screamed in panic.
We came to a stop and outside, there were cats everywhere, surrounding the car.
I was terrified and looked again at the man who now all the sudden started moving very strangely.
all the sudden his clothes ripped and 5 cats came out of his body – they had been operating the corpse of the person who had owned this car.
I am writing this from the cat prison and if you ever find this letter, I’m sure you won’t believe this to be true – I’m sure you’ll think this is a fake, but it’s not – cat’s are living underground in sophisticated societies, they’re gonna get you all one day, you’ll see… You’ll see.
“What on earth have I gotten myself into this time”
I thought to myself whilst trembling, surrounded by cats.
They were all just staring at me with their furry faces and it was a horrible, horrible sight.
I had fallen down a sewer while trying to grab a 10 dollar bill I had dropped from my hands – don’t ask me how, I don’t even know that myself, it just happened.
As I lay there surrounded by the circle of these wretched furry creatures, they began to make way for what seemed to be their leader.
God damn that was a large cat.
Not like lion sized or anything, but, trust me; it was big.
It was completely white and the cat was actually wearing a crown – yes, the CAT was wearing a CROWN.
How did the cat even place it on it’s head, nevermind obtain it?
The crown looked like it could be really expensive, it had jewelry surrounding it and it kind of resembled the crown used by the English monarchs, it had to be fake – I just couldn’t stop staring at it, the whole scenario was just ridiculous and the crown just made the whole thing surreal.
Someone must have placed the crown on the cats hairy head, but whatever – it was what it was.
The cat stood over me and i was completely tense, just waiting for them all to begin devouring me and scratching my eyes out.
“What is thy business in my dominion, human?”
I just gazed at the white, abnormally large cat for a good 5 seconds and then started slapping myself in the face, trying to wake myself up.
I didn’t wake up – this was real somehow.
The cats looked dumbfounded, including the leader.
I simply could not come to terms with what was happening, but there was no way out of this except to play along so I answered the cat.
“I just f-fell down here through that sewer” and pointed up.
“Ah, I see.” Said the cat in a rather dignified manner – he kind of sounded like Azlan from Narnia, it was pretty neat.
“You… Do understand that we cannot allow you to leave now – you already know too much.”
“I-I promise I won’t tell anybody – I SWEAR MISTER CAT KING, I SWEAR!!”
“I’m afraid that you’ll have to live with us now, human; become a part of our tribe, or else, we will have to… Take measures.”
“Y-yes of course! YES, IŽll learn your ways, I’ll become a good member of your society!”
Of course I wasn’t being serious; I’d rather lie than get devoured by these mysterious beasts.
“Good… Good.” Said the cat with the crown.
“You will learn the code we live by, we call it the MEOW code.”
“The meow code?”
“Yes, it is the code we live by and shall not be broken by any cat.”
“You are of course not a cat, but you will still have to abide to it.”
“YES SIR I WON’T SIR!”
The cats led me through the sewer to their main quarters and there was a bunch of other cats there staring at me, not saying anything – it was as if the leader cat was the only one capable of speech.
“Mittens!” Said the leader “Come here and teach this human the meow code!”
“Meooow”, said Mittens and came running to me.
“Meow meeoow meow meeow meooooow!”
The cat in front of me was actually trying to communicate with me in his native tongue and I just stood there, sweating, what should I do? Pretend to understand the cat or tell the king that I couldn’t speak cat?
“Eh heh… eee – meeeooow?
Every cat now just stared at me and the king looked at me in complete bewilderment.
“I-is that what you really want?”
“Uhm…. yeees?”
I had no idea what was going on at this point.
One of the cats took out a long brass instrument and sounded it, then the cats gathered around.
Oh god, what on earth had I done.
“Fair enough human, I have no choice but to accept your duel then – it is a part of the code.”
“A duel?” I asked in utter confusion.
“Yes, you said the word; which means that now I must fight you to death and defend my dominance and my crown.”
The cats around, beginning to chant a meow and drums began to play a steady beat.
How were the cats even operating the instruments – they have paws, I thought to myself.
2 cats somehow carried the leaders war apparel to him – it was an incredibly sophisticated piece of armor, there was no way they could have crafted that themselves.
I stood there in front of the cat, who, despite being overly large for a cat, was easily not a huge threat to me.
The cat was now fully dressed in it’s armor.
“**** it” I said and awaited for the fight to begin.
There was now silence and a cat on a platform standing next to us said “meow, meow, MEOW!!”
The white leader cat started sprinting towards me in his little armor – kind of a cute sight actually.
he jumped at my face and I was spinning in circles with that cat trying to bite my face off, struggling to try to throw it off me.
I noticed that the cats all around were going crazy and they were jumping and doing summersaults and meowing like the crazy little furry beasts they were.
The white cat firmly attached to me trying to bite my nose.
I was screaming at this point like a woman, making high pitched screams as I was trying to push that crazy animal away from my face.
The cat gave out a brutal meowish warcry and his face was now really mean looking.
I finally managed to throw the cat off me – the cat landed on a large bell that was hanging in the air close by and it made a loud sound when the cat hit it.
I started running away into a tunnel that led out from the large underground chamber.
The cats all started chasing me.
I managed to find a ladder that led upwards – thank god.
I started climbing and the cats were jumping up trying to bite at my leg – I kicked their faces as they did so.
I managed to open up the sewer lid and the exit led up into the wilderness.
I started running like crazy, falling numerous times.
A car came driving on the road that was next to the wilderness I had just come out of.
I stopped in front of the car and waved my hands in desperation.
The car stopped and I asked the man for help, told him I had escaped a captor.
I didn’t want him to think I was crazy by saying I had been held hostage my cats.
The man looked a little weird, but I thought nothing of it.
As we were driving, he was completely silent, not saying anything, just driving – as if saving a hostage from it’s captor was a daily thing for him.
“So, I guess you could just take me to the next police station, that would be great.”
He kept silent and didn’t look at me.
He turned to the right into the forest again
“Excuse me, but where are you going – the town is in the other direction.”
He locked the doors and I knew then and there that i had to get out – this wasn’t right.
I grabbed his shoulder and it didn’t feel like a solid thing, it felt… soft.
I then looked at his face and he had glasses and a hat on, his skin looked very pale.
I backed away from him and looked at him intently, completely freaked out.
“STOP THE ****ING CAR RIGHT NOW!” I screamed in panic.
We came to a stop and outside, there were cats everywhere, surrounding the car.
I was terrified and looked again at the man who now all the sudden started moving very strangely.
all the sudden his clothes ripped and 5 cats came out of his body – they had been operating the corpse of the person who had owned this car.
I am writing this from the cat prison and if you ever find this letter, I’m sure you won’t believe this to be true – I’m sure you’ll think this is a fake, but it’s not – cat’s are living underground in sophisticated societies, they’re gonna get you all one day, you’ll see… You’ll see.