Biggus
02-28-2015, 06:36 AM
21st CENTURY NURSERY RHYMES # 363
How many miles to Babylon?
Are measured in the blood
Of the innocents
IF YOUR BLIND DATE IS DESCRIBED TO YOU # 9
If your blind date is described to you
As “Wanting a Soulmate” then watch out
Because it will be worse than it sounds
They’ll be a stalker without a doubt
I WAS JUST SITTING IN THE STAND
I was just sitting in the stand
And wondered why absentmindedly
The football was getting bigger
And bigger and then it hit me
ARE YOU WEARING A TANK TOP?
Are you wearing a tank top?
Someone should’ve yelled stop
I know charity shops are thrifty
But it’s dated in nineteen fifty
WHEN YOU WALK INTO THE BATHROOM
When you walk into the bathroom
You’re American
When you walk out of the bathroom
You’re American
But while you are in the bathroom
European
I THINK GOOGLE IS A WOMAN
I think Google is a woman because
It won't let me finish my question
Or a sentence for that matter, before
It starts making other suggestions
I AM WEARING A CONTENTED EXPRESSION?
I am wearing a contented expression?
And all that is necessarily attached
I’m a man and at the end of the day
And if it itches, it will be scratched
SINCE I RETIRED I HAVE RESISTED THE TEMPTATION
Since I retired I have resisted the temptation
To tidy the cellar, the garage or the attic
Because the moment I accomplished the task
My grown up kids would fill them with their ****
WHAT DO PENSIONERS?
What do pensioners?
Consider long lunches to be?
Perfectly normal I think
At least as far as I can see
AT ONE HUNDRED YEARS OF AGE SHE WAS ASKED
At one hundred years of age she was asked
At her age what thing gave her the most pleasure?
She thought for a moment before she replied
The most satisfying thing was “No peer pressure”
How many miles to Babylon?
Are measured in the blood
Of the innocents
IF YOUR BLIND DATE IS DESCRIBED TO YOU # 9
If your blind date is described to you
As “Wanting a Soulmate” then watch out
Because it will be worse than it sounds
They’ll be a stalker without a doubt
I WAS JUST SITTING IN THE STAND
I was just sitting in the stand
And wondered why absentmindedly
The football was getting bigger
And bigger and then it hit me
ARE YOU WEARING A TANK TOP?
Are you wearing a tank top?
Someone should’ve yelled stop
I know charity shops are thrifty
But it’s dated in nineteen fifty
WHEN YOU WALK INTO THE BATHROOM
When you walk into the bathroom
You’re American
When you walk out of the bathroom
You’re American
But while you are in the bathroom
European
I THINK GOOGLE IS A WOMAN
I think Google is a woman because
It won't let me finish my question
Or a sentence for that matter, before
It starts making other suggestions
I AM WEARING A CONTENTED EXPRESSION?
I am wearing a contented expression?
And all that is necessarily attached
I’m a man and at the end of the day
And if it itches, it will be scratched
SINCE I RETIRED I HAVE RESISTED THE TEMPTATION
Since I retired I have resisted the temptation
To tidy the cellar, the garage or the attic
Because the moment I accomplished the task
My grown up kids would fill them with their ****
WHAT DO PENSIONERS?
What do pensioners?
Consider long lunches to be?
Perfectly normal I think
At least as far as I can see
AT ONE HUNDRED YEARS OF AGE SHE WAS ASKED
At one hundred years of age she was asked
At her age what thing gave her the most pleasure?
She thought for a moment before she replied
The most satisfying thing was “No peer pressure”