slap

[cacian]

we like money
more then we like
happy

and so when
things go dappy
pear shaped
snappy
we question
the unhappy
the mind boggles
it is not ready
it is sappy

we are to quit
slappy
or fizzy is mappy
the road
ahead gappy
a long way
till we are
savy

the quest to life
is a human slap
with a wake up
sharp
that redemption
is unconsumption
and happyness is in fonction
how else
to intention?

[NikolaiI]

This was quite lovely to read. Beautiful, short, sweet... yet there is a lot of depth which makes it enjoyable to read several times.

things go dappy
pear shaped
snappy

stood out to me.

[PeterL]

Slap Dash



We are more like Happy than like Money;
Metal and paper are not living things.
Happy was a living woman, and some
Other humans may be happy as well.

Money is a tool, a convenience.
With it we need not carry tons of trade
Goods to swap for other goods. What good are
Goods that are only for trade?

But the best things can’t be bought with money,
They require giving oneself in exchange.
The price is steep, but value for value
And she certainly is worth even more.

Sappy, maybe, but important for sure.
Snappy, yes so is this verse reply.
Slappy, no, never, that was a caress.
Happy, yes, and you know the rest already.

[YesNo]

I liked the phrase "redemption is unconsumption" and the first stanza sets that up.

[cacian]

thank you all very much. the feedback is very much appreciated :)