Biggus
02-21-2015, 08:09 AM
21st CENTURY NURSERY RHYMES # 361
A Frog he went a courting,
Well it’s not like he has
Anything else to do since
He lost the French Presidency
IF YOUR BLIND DATE IS DESCRIBED TO YOU # 7
If your blind date is described to you
As “a Poet” don’t go all romantic
Because it will be worse than it sounds
And they’ll be a depressive Schizophrenic
LIFE’S VEXATIONS # 8
Is there anything more annoying?
If I had my way it would be a crime
Those people who point at their wrist
While they are asking for the time
ARE YOU WEARING A TUX?
Are you wearing a tux?
Urgh that thing really sucks
It’s starting to disconcert
It’s a Tux printed on a t-shirt
THE BLIZZARD OF OZ
The Blizzard of Oz
Continued to blow
Until the yellow brick road
Was covered in snow
MY DOCTOR IS A LOCUM
My doctor is a Locum
Who replaced Dr Slocombe
And all I get is Hokum
With a sprinkling of bunkum
But I have my heath so Ho hum
LOOK IT’S NOT LIKE I’M HURTING ANYONE
Look it’s not like I’m hurting anyone
It’s not like I fell for her out of habit
And can I say I’m only human after all
So is it weird that I fancy Jessica Rabbit?
I LOVE JESSICA RABBIT
I love Jessica Rabbit,
I watch her films all the time
I find her so erotic
It’s just like watching porn
But don’t blame sweet Jessica
For my peccadilloes
It’s really not her fault
It’s just the way she’s drawn
THERE MAY WELL BE, AS THEY SAY
There may well be, as they say
“Plenty of fish in the sea”
But until I catch myself a cod
I'm left holding my rod
ONCE I FOUND OUT THAT MASTURBATING
Once I found out that masturbating
Was an addictive habit
I knew from that very moment on
That I just had to beat it
A Frog he went a courting,
Well it’s not like he has
Anything else to do since
He lost the French Presidency
IF YOUR BLIND DATE IS DESCRIBED TO YOU # 7
If your blind date is described to you
As “a Poet” don’t go all romantic
Because it will be worse than it sounds
And they’ll be a depressive Schizophrenic
LIFE’S VEXATIONS # 8
Is there anything more annoying?
If I had my way it would be a crime
Those people who point at their wrist
While they are asking for the time
ARE YOU WEARING A TUX?
Are you wearing a tux?
Urgh that thing really sucks
It’s starting to disconcert
It’s a Tux printed on a t-shirt
THE BLIZZARD OF OZ
The Blizzard of Oz
Continued to blow
Until the yellow brick road
Was covered in snow
MY DOCTOR IS A LOCUM
My doctor is a Locum
Who replaced Dr Slocombe
And all I get is Hokum
With a sprinkling of bunkum
But I have my heath so Ho hum
LOOK IT’S NOT LIKE I’M HURTING ANYONE
Look it’s not like I’m hurting anyone
It’s not like I fell for her out of habit
And can I say I’m only human after all
So is it weird that I fancy Jessica Rabbit?
I LOVE JESSICA RABBIT
I love Jessica Rabbit,
I watch her films all the time
I find her so erotic
It’s just like watching porn
But don’t blame sweet Jessica
For my peccadilloes
It’s really not her fault
It’s just the way she’s drawn
THERE MAY WELL BE, AS THEY SAY
There may well be, as they say
“Plenty of fish in the sea”
But until I catch myself a cod
I'm left holding my rod
ONCE I FOUND OUT THAT MASTURBATING
Once I found out that masturbating
Was an addictive habit
I knew from that very moment on
That I just had to beat it