Biggus
02-10-2015, 04:48 AM
21st CENTURY NURSERY RHYMES # 357
Did you ever see a lassie?
A lassie, a lassie?
I’m not sure terms of endearment
Of that kind are strictly PC
WE HAVE LOVED EGGS # 4
We have loved eggs
Since we were children
Chuckie Eggs my dad
Used to call them
IF YOUR BLIND DATE IS DESCRIBED TO YOU # 3
If your blind date is described to you
As “Well Educated” the choice is yours
It will probably be worse than it sounds
And means they had sex with all their tutors
FROSTY THE SNOWMAN REALLY LOST HIS TEMPER
Frosty the snowman really lost his temper
And his behaviour was an absolute disgrace
He kept going on about an aggressive carrot
And he kept saying "just get out of my face"
DIETING TIP # 9
Things licked off knives and spoons,
Which can be any soupcon or delicacy,
During the process of preparation
Are absolutely devoid of calories
FOGHORN LEGHORN HAD A GIRLFRIEND
Foghorn Leghorn had a girlfriend
And her name was feathery Beth
But her feather all pointed the wrong way
And she tickled herself to death
LIFE’S VEXATIONS # 4
Is there anything more annoying?
Than when checking your tyre pressure
And you're trying to get a reading
Your pressure gauge lets out half the air
ARE YOU WEARING ANY?
Are you wearing any?
Beneath your tartan gear
Because if your kilt flares up
There will be a raucous cheer
WE LEARNED ABOUT FOOD GROUPS TODAY AT SCHOOL
We learned about food groups today at school
Confections, vegetables, meat and protein
Dairy, fruits, grains, pulses and legumes
But what about Alcohol, Nicotine and Caffeine
OVER CHRISTMAS THE AMBULANCE SERVICE
Over Christmas the ambulance service
Were “super busy”, meaning it was hectic
I’ve never heard that unit of measurement
So I’m not sure if it’s imperial or metric
Did you ever see a lassie?
A lassie, a lassie?
I’m not sure terms of endearment
Of that kind are strictly PC
WE HAVE LOVED EGGS # 4
We have loved eggs
Since we were children
Chuckie Eggs my dad
Used to call them
IF YOUR BLIND DATE IS DESCRIBED TO YOU # 3
If your blind date is described to you
As “Well Educated” the choice is yours
It will probably be worse than it sounds
And means they had sex with all their tutors
FROSTY THE SNOWMAN REALLY LOST HIS TEMPER
Frosty the snowman really lost his temper
And his behaviour was an absolute disgrace
He kept going on about an aggressive carrot
And he kept saying "just get out of my face"
DIETING TIP # 9
Things licked off knives and spoons,
Which can be any soupcon or delicacy,
During the process of preparation
Are absolutely devoid of calories
FOGHORN LEGHORN HAD A GIRLFRIEND
Foghorn Leghorn had a girlfriend
And her name was feathery Beth
But her feather all pointed the wrong way
And she tickled herself to death
LIFE’S VEXATIONS # 4
Is there anything more annoying?
Than when checking your tyre pressure
And you're trying to get a reading
Your pressure gauge lets out half the air
ARE YOU WEARING ANY?
Are you wearing any?
Beneath your tartan gear
Because if your kilt flares up
There will be a raucous cheer
WE LEARNED ABOUT FOOD GROUPS TODAY AT SCHOOL
We learned about food groups today at school
Confections, vegetables, meat and protein
Dairy, fruits, grains, pulses and legumes
But what about Alcohol, Nicotine and Caffeine
OVER CHRISTMAS THE AMBULANCE SERVICE
Over Christmas the ambulance service
Were “super busy”, meaning it was hectic
I’ve never heard that unit of measurement
So I’m not sure if it’s imperial or metric