Let Freedom Ring

[tpatt]

There's a very long story behind this. But the moral is...... no more. I will prevail. Let me know what you think?



She decided to free herself
To break through the chains that weren't there
To step outside of the box with no boundaries
She decided to free herself
To look in the mirror and see love instead of hate
To think without really thinking
To care but not too much
She decided to free herself
Her own personal jail
Heart filled with cold flames
Fear, self-hate, loneliness, insecurity followed by
Love and Sadness due to walls with ladders
Fear of heights that weren’t high
Imaginary words that said nothing
No more
No more
She decided to free herself

[NikolaiI]

I think the moral is absolutely on target. . . you have the exact idea there - search for freedom - peace - it's attainable. . . Keep that ideal before you every moment of the day if you wish to truly reach it - and reach it you should! because there's nothing else truly, as completely, as worthwhile as this - for it's the greatest gift..

As to the poem - it's a little heavy hitting with such strong emotions; it's understandable and normal to write poems like this, and we all have, our own variations at times; but since it's such a deep emotion it rather distracts from the essence of reading poetry a little bit -

Which is fine, nothing wrong with it - I firmly believe every expression we make in poetry is almost hallowed, even if it's a beginning step, because for there to be anything holy and completely beautiful in the world, poetry is always written in the basic, unstated understanding that the poet one day believes they'll be able to experience it. . .

I hope you will forgive me for rambling - I guess I'm saying, don't take anyone's criticism too seriously. . only your own!

A lot of times poetry - to be interesting at all, - have to contain something deeply heartfelt within us, and a lot of the times people who read it won't actually have any clue of that experience or emotion. . .

We are all human, but some people just don't ever reach certain parts of theirself. .

So some poets, whose main partial goal is to experience the entirety of possible human experience, do so - and the lucky ones maintain their peace and sanity throughout it all, and the smart ones also keep themselves from coming to harm at any point. . in other words, the less wear and tear we place on ourselves, over the long run, will pay for itself in so, so many dividends, in our health - our performance, our writing, our thinking, our actions, etc. - everything.

Anyway - you may go experience some incredibly beautiful, incredibly wonderful part of human experience - and if you come right out, and say it, you will encounter a vast higher number of people who have never glimpsed it, as those who have, so it makes sharing it a very tricky difficulty.

Thus poetry, religion, philosophy and the whole of human thought about existence.

I will say this - it's beautiful that your poem says Freedom Ring, and then right below it are 5 other poems ending in ring, Ring, Ring!

It is just an indicator of the fact that you've tapped into a universal. .

I suppose some of the best poems are ones that are expanded to the complexity of a Shelley ballad, but still have a universal character, so they'd be true for anyone.


Again.. forgive me for rambling, the last few days it seems any topic I pick up I just can't stop for a page or more. Most of these I just delete, but eh, might as well post them once in a while.