tpatt
02-09-2015, 01:04 AM
Without a blink I can say NO to all other men. Without a second thought if I have even a grain of doubt it is over..and in my mind and I lay it to rest forever. Or.. at least until I decide otherwise.
But with him…. with him…. I even know how I’ll end up feeling at the end. I know I’ll be left with nothing. I'll be left with feeling worse than when I came. But I consciously make the decision to go. Each and every time I have the opportunity....
When I am with him..the world finally stops. I am that girl who I miss. I miss feeling wanted and sexy and whole. And I look at him and I see the man that I want. I see the man that I want to make happy. I see the man that I want to love. I see the man that doesn't see me.
My soul dances with his in unison as our bodies move together in the bedroom as one. He satisfies all of my needs with ease and I craved his manly touch and taste. His body and his breath and his intense hands squeezing and needing my flesh. My body satisfying his therefore satisfying my every desire.
Then as premeditated as I imagined we say a goodbye..a last kiss. My soul is left searching for him but he is gone. My heart aches and beats and knocks on my chest, knocks on my brain, knocks on itself wondering why and how and where is this drug that was so deep in my veins just hours ago. I feign for the dance that our souls did together……….searching is what my heart feels …. And now the rest of the world can go to hell because I welcomed pain…and it has arrived.
But with him…. with him…. I even know how I’ll end up feeling at the end. I know I’ll be left with nothing. I'll be left with feeling worse than when I came. But I consciously make the decision to go. Each and every time I have the opportunity....
When I am with him..the world finally stops. I am that girl who I miss. I miss feeling wanted and sexy and whole. And I look at him and I see the man that I want. I see the man that I want to make happy. I see the man that I want to love. I see the man that doesn't see me.
My soul dances with his in unison as our bodies move together in the bedroom as one. He satisfies all of my needs with ease and I craved his manly touch and taste. His body and his breath and his intense hands squeezing and needing my flesh. My body satisfying his therefore satisfying my every desire.
Then as premeditated as I imagined we say a goodbye..a last kiss. My soul is left searching for him but he is gone. My heart aches and beats and knocks on my chest, knocks on my brain, knocks on itself wondering why and how and where is this drug that was so deep in my veins just hours ago. I feign for the dance that our souls did together……….searching is what my heart feels …. And now the rest of the world can go to hell because I welcomed pain…and it has arrived.