Biggus
02-05-2015, 09:36 AM
21st CENTURY NURSERY RHYMES # 355
**** a doodle do!
The maid has lost her shoe,
And that’s not the only thing
She lost in barn
WE HAVE LOVED EGGS # 2
We have loved eggs
Since we were children
Hen Fruits my dad
Used to call them
IF YOUR BLIND DATE IS DESCRIBED TO YOU # 1
If your blind date is described to you
As “Thoughtful” it’s not the best start
As their thoughtfulness will only extend
To saying "Excuse me" when they fart
I’M NOT A FUSSY EATER AND THERE ISN’T
I’m not a fussy eater and there isn’t
Much I won’t eat out of choice
But I will not eat an oyster because
It’s like licking phlegm off a tortoise
POPPY DOUBTED HER HUSBAND’S FIDELITY # 1
Poppy doubted her husband’s fidelity
And always subjected him to a quiz
Afterwards she was left wondering
If the baby she was carrying was his
ARE YOU WEARING NOVELTY GLASSES?
Are you wearing novelty glasses?
Did you buy them as a kind of remedy?
Well if nothing else they should
Improve your observational comedy
SNOWFLAKES MUST NEVER BE
Snowflakes must never be
Caught in your open mouth
Until you’re sure that all
The birds have flown south
SUPERMARKET BLUES # 2
You know it really gets me down
As you wait patiently in the queue
Waiting in line at the supermarket
And the line of People behind you
When as another checkout opens up
They suddenly dash ahead of you
To the newly opened checkout
And you’re at the back of your queue
And all those impatient shoppers
Get served and finished before you
LIFE’S VEXATIONS # 2
Is there anything more annoying?
Can there ever be any doubt
When you can never get anything
Back in a box the way it came out
DIETING TIP # 8
Regarding the eating of broken biscuits
I think I have a tip that might assuage
Cookie pieces contain no calories as
Breaking them causes calorie leakage
**** a doodle do!
The maid has lost her shoe,
And that’s not the only thing
She lost in barn
WE HAVE LOVED EGGS # 2
We have loved eggs
Since we were children
Hen Fruits my dad
Used to call them
IF YOUR BLIND DATE IS DESCRIBED TO YOU # 1
If your blind date is described to you
As “Thoughtful” it’s not the best start
As their thoughtfulness will only extend
To saying "Excuse me" when they fart
I’M NOT A FUSSY EATER AND THERE ISN’T
I’m not a fussy eater and there isn’t
Much I won’t eat out of choice
But I will not eat an oyster because
It’s like licking phlegm off a tortoise
POPPY DOUBTED HER HUSBAND’S FIDELITY # 1
Poppy doubted her husband’s fidelity
And always subjected him to a quiz
Afterwards she was left wondering
If the baby she was carrying was his
ARE YOU WEARING NOVELTY GLASSES?
Are you wearing novelty glasses?
Did you buy them as a kind of remedy?
Well if nothing else they should
Improve your observational comedy
SNOWFLAKES MUST NEVER BE
Snowflakes must never be
Caught in your open mouth
Until you’re sure that all
The birds have flown south
SUPERMARKET BLUES # 2
You know it really gets me down
As you wait patiently in the queue
Waiting in line at the supermarket
And the line of People behind you
When as another checkout opens up
They suddenly dash ahead of you
To the newly opened checkout
And you’re at the back of your queue
And all those impatient shoppers
Get served and finished before you
LIFE’S VEXATIONS # 2
Is there anything more annoying?
Can there ever be any doubt
When you can never get anything
Back in a box the way it came out
DIETING TIP # 8
Regarding the eating of broken biscuits
I think I have a tip that might assuage
Cookie pieces contain no calories as
Breaking them causes calorie leakage