Muses (Very short)

[DATo]

Yes, I believe in muses, in fact I have one who stops in often. He looks a lot like Clarence from It's A Wonderful Life, and he is equally inept.

He offers premises which are totally ridiculous and in explaining to him WHY the premises he recommends are ridiculous I offer counter-premises which suggest promise. He thinks the setting should always be a bar or a grass hut in the Lesser Antilles. "I CAN'T DO THAT YOU IDIOT!" I scream. "The story is about a German luthier. There are no German luthiers in the Lower Antilles!" As I begin to develop the plot he suggests that the main character do something which is totally stupid ... "WHAT?" I exclaim, "IF I HAVE THE MAIN CHARACTER DO WHAT YOU SAY AT THIS POINT IN THE STORY IT WILL RUIN THE PLOT!" I then proceed to create a more plausible path to the execution of the climax.

He just sits there taking great delight in correcting my spelling and grammar mistakes and doing his best to make me feel stupid. I HATE THAT! So I make it a point of honor to preempt his corrections by taking care to think through the phrasing of what I write carefully. I just love to hit the backspace key repeatedly just as he opens his mouth to point out a correction and watch his cherubic sneer melt in disappointment.

Invariably, when I complete a story, he perks up and comments upon what a great job "WE" did. He then smiles, winks, and disappears in a cloud of self-satisfaction.

Now, if I could only figure out where that bell-ringing sound is coming from.

[MANICHAEAN]

Do what I do my friend and just ignore.

The trap, as you are beginning to realize, is to take the muses seriously as that's how they get their jolly's. ( Oh dear. Have I spelt that wrong? / Is it in the right context? Should I use a ; instead of a /????)

Write to enjoy and as a bonus, if only one other person appreciates it, then its a success.

Having said that let me just point out:

1. Too many capital letters used in inappropriate places. You should never develop more indignation than you can contain.

2. You really do need to research more the " Lesser" ( not "Lower") Antilles, as its virtually crawling with German luthiers. Just mention my name and ask for the "special."

3. How dare you as the author decide what's plausible. If everybody took that stance, there would not be enough lamp-posts for the rest of us to **** our leg up at.

Well that's all for now. A snappy little miscellany on your part, and with a bit more attention, it could be up there with some of the Greats. Thanks for sharing.

M.

[DATo]

Greetings MANICHAEAN,

You are absolutely right on all counts. I've been in a slump coming up with short story ideas recently and found myself cursing my muses. This led to a bit of writing, the result of which I have shared just for fun. I thought it might get a smile or two if I posted it and thus it is posted. Not intended to be taken seriously. *L*

[free]

It is funny, DATo, you've made me smile. Just one thing, I have always thought that muses are females. At least the ancient Greek's ones. I have mine, too. However, they do not appear as persons, rather as thoughts. I mean, they don't speak to me, we communicate telepathically. Sometimes I have them in my dreams, I get the entire story in my dream, I just have to write it down. It happens rarely, but it gives me a great joy.

[YesNo]

Like free, I usually see the muses as female also. Imaginary friends could be either male or female.

I think you handled your muse/imaginary friend correctly. Just put him in the story.

[DATo]

Like free, I usually see the muses as female also. Imaginary friends could be either male or female.

I think you handled your muse/imaginary friend correctly. Just put him in the story.

Yup, you and free are correct. The Muses are indeed female and probably Greek which is fine with me because I think Greek women are beautiful, especially if they have a couple of gyro sandwiches in their hands, but MY muse is male .... because God hates me ... no, he really does ... all these beautiful Greek muses and I get a guy who looks like Clarence from It's A Wonderful Life ... no wonder George Bailey wanted to jump off a bridge!

[Pompey Bum]

Yup, you and free are correct. The Muses are indeed female and probably Greek which is fine with me because I think Greek women are beautiful, especially if they have a couple of gyro sandwiches in their hands, but MY muse is male .... because God hates me ... no, he really does ... all these beautiful Greek muses and I get a guy who looks like Clarence from It's A Wonderful Life ... no wonder George Bailey wanted to jump off a bridge!

That's a riot. :) For the record, the Muses were daughters of Zeus, so yes, all female. Their numbers vary, depending on which ancient author you ask, but nine is a frequently cited quantity in modern collections of Greek myths. They don't all inspire writers, though. Each has her own job to do. I don't know who this fellow bothering you is, DATo, but I'd trade him in for a Grecian beauty as soon as convenient. And you are right about Greek women. They are goddesses! :)

[sc455]

I liked that a lot. That brought a smile on my face for sure!

[AuntShecky]

A cute one, DATo.
Did you ever see the movie "The Muse" starring the great Albert Brooks? You'd enjoy it.
I can't say that yours fooly has her own personal muse. Or if I do, she's the laziest little slut that ever set foot on the planet.

Auntie

[DATo]

Ahhhh ... AUNTIE !!! I missed your post because by the time I returned to the forum this post had gone the way of the dinosaur and was buried under several strata of other stories. Actually, I have not seen that movie though I have heard of it. I'm going to see if I can find it ... for some reason I find myself in "Muse Mode".

Thanks for the suggestion!