Grape

[_Joe_]

It's such a dirty, tainted word
I should not deign to use it.
But if I grit my teeth on it,
Gee, I'd probably lose it.
I must tell someone, you see,
I wasn't dressed accordingly.
I do not crave attention
Nor ask your sympathy.
My helplessness in this
No longer haunting me,
It is instead the anger
They don't believe me.
Superman folds his cape
And coldly judges me.
Gentlemen, it is no grape:
I am a victim of society.

[Angelic Devil]

Superman folds his cape
And coldly judges me.
Gentlemen, it is no grape:
I am a victim of society.

Those lines are really unique I love them! I would just point out that in between those lines is something you need to amend further because perhaps to me I had to pause and re-read to keep the flow of thought going:

My helplessness in this
No longer haunting me

The lines seems to cut off.

This is my unprofessional opinion, but this is a nicely written text :) Thank you for sharing!

[_Joe_]

Superman folds his cape
And coldly judges me.
Gentlemen, it is no grape:
I am a victim of society.

Those lines are really unique I love them! I would just point out that in between those lines is something you need to amend further because perhaps to me I had to pause and re-read to keep the flow of thought going:

My helplessness in this
No longer haunting me

The lines seems to cut off.


Thanks for the compliment. I agree that this is the weakest part of it. How about this instead:



It's such a dirty, tainted word
I should not deign to use it.
But if I grit my teeth on it,
Gee, I'd probably lose it.
I must tell someone, you see,
I wasn't dressed accordingly.
I do not crave attention
Nor ask your sympathy.
I am no longer crying
Over that Calvary
But this? To be called a liar
By friends and family?
Superman folds his cape
And coldly judges me.
Gentlemen, it is no grape:
I am a victim of society.