Biggus
01-14-2015, 04:39 AM
DIETING TIP # 3
I don’t know all the science involved
It’s something to do with gravity
But anything you consume while you
Are standing up contains no calories
IT’S A SURE SIGN YOU HAVE LOST # 2
It’s a sure sign you have lost
Your sex appeal for certain
When your gynaecologist
Won’t examine you in person
ARE YOU ADDICTED TO PLASTIC SURGERY?
Are you addicted to plastic surgery?
Or just had more than your fair share
Well it’s a sure sign when your surgeon
Is an employee of Tupperware
21st CENTURY NURSERY RHYMES # 335
Old Mother Goose,
When she wanted to wander,
Hitched up her dress
And let the men have a gander.
FOGHORN LEGHORN’S COOP
Have you ever wondered why?
A chicken coop has two doors?
Because it would obviously be
A chicken Sedan if it had four
BIMBETTE AND THE CAR POOL
Bimbette got locked out of her car
In the pouring rain
She had forgotten her keys
So went back in the house again
When she got in the car
She started to frown
The seats were soaked
Because the roof had been down
THE COLDEST COUNTRY ON EARTH
The coldest country on earth
Is not Lapland? Isn’t that silly
It’s a place that make you shiver
But nothing at all like Chile
THE TEMPERATURE OF SEX
An old man was at the doctors
“I have a question you may think silly
Well after my wife and I have sex,
I'm usually cold and chilly
But then, after the second time
I'm usually hot and sweaty"
The doc replied “Well that is strange
Let’s discuss it with Betty”
The doctor repeated the tale
And she replied with disgust
"The first time is in January
And the second is in August"
APPARENTLY OWNING A DOG
Apparently owning a dog
Can take ten years of you
I now have four of them
But I still look sixty two
CANDY CRUSH
He is a bit of a technophobe
If I have to tell the truth
So he thinks Candy Crush
Is a stripper from his youth
I don’t know all the science involved
It’s something to do with gravity
But anything you consume while you
Are standing up contains no calories
IT’S A SURE SIGN YOU HAVE LOST # 2
It’s a sure sign you have lost
Your sex appeal for certain
When your gynaecologist
Won’t examine you in person
ARE YOU ADDICTED TO PLASTIC SURGERY?
Are you addicted to plastic surgery?
Or just had more than your fair share
Well it’s a sure sign when your surgeon
Is an employee of Tupperware
21st CENTURY NURSERY RHYMES # 335
Old Mother Goose,
When she wanted to wander,
Hitched up her dress
And let the men have a gander.
FOGHORN LEGHORN’S COOP
Have you ever wondered why?
A chicken coop has two doors?
Because it would obviously be
A chicken Sedan if it had four
BIMBETTE AND THE CAR POOL
Bimbette got locked out of her car
In the pouring rain
She had forgotten her keys
So went back in the house again
When she got in the car
She started to frown
The seats were soaked
Because the roof had been down
THE COLDEST COUNTRY ON EARTH
The coldest country on earth
Is not Lapland? Isn’t that silly
It’s a place that make you shiver
But nothing at all like Chile
THE TEMPERATURE OF SEX
An old man was at the doctors
“I have a question you may think silly
Well after my wife and I have sex,
I'm usually cold and chilly
But then, after the second time
I'm usually hot and sweaty"
The doc replied “Well that is strange
Let’s discuss it with Betty”
The doctor repeated the tale
And she replied with disgust
"The first time is in January
And the second is in August"
APPARENTLY OWNING A DOG
Apparently owning a dog
Can take ten years of you
I now have four of them
But I still look sixty two
CANDY CRUSH
He is a bit of a technophobe
If I have to tell the truth
So he thinks Candy Crush
Is a stripper from his youth