Biggus
01-11-2015, 06:16 AM
DIETING TIP # 2
When you eat with someone else
Calories don't count for you
Just as long as you don’t eat
Any more food than they do
IT’S A SURE SIGN YOU HAVE LOST # 1
It’s a sure sign you have lost
Your sex appeal for certain
When the local peeping tom
Chooses to close your curtain
21st CENTURY NURSERY RHYMES # 333
Polly put the kettle on,
Polly put the kettle on,
Polly put the kettle on,
We'll all make meth
PC’s take it off again,
PC’s take it off again,
PC’s take it off again,
We're all going away
ARE YOU WEARING A DOPEY LOOK?
Are you wearing a dopey look?
Come on tell me what’s to blame
No please don’t answer that
And I don’t want to know her name
REVEREND FOGHORN LEGHORN
Reverend Foghorn Leghorn
Has done his reputation damage
When he was ejected from church
For using fowl language
YOU TOLD ME YOU’D SPEND YOUR WHOLE LIFE
“You told me you’d spend your whole life
Trying to make me proud to be your wife”
She said to him “So what went wrong?”
He replied “I didn’t know you’d live so long”
I FIND SURVEYS QUITE SURPRISING
I find surveys quite surprising
This result even surprised my cousin
Twelve out of thirteen people
Have never heard of a baker’s dozen
A CHEESY TALE
My love life is like
A wheel of Swiss cheese I think
It’s full of holes
And the remainder tends to stink
MY UNCLE HAS WRITTEN AN EXPOSE
My Uncle has written an expose
It’s a real kiss and tell
About being a vet, it’s called
All creatures grunt and smell
LET ME FULFIL ALL YOUR WISHES
Let me fulfil all your wishes
To shower you with kisses
But please don’t tell the Mrs
When you eat with someone else
Calories don't count for you
Just as long as you don’t eat
Any more food than they do
IT’S A SURE SIGN YOU HAVE LOST # 1
It’s a sure sign you have lost
Your sex appeal for certain
When the local peeping tom
Chooses to close your curtain
21st CENTURY NURSERY RHYMES # 333
Polly put the kettle on,
Polly put the kettle on,
Polly put the kettle on,
We'll all make meth
PC’s take it off again,
PC’s take it off again,
PC’s take it off again,
We're all going away
ARE YOU WEARING A DOPEY LOOK?
Are you wearing a dopey look?
Come on tell me what’s to blame
No please don’t answer that
And I don’t want to know her name
REVEREND FOGHORN LEGHORN
Reverend Foghorn Leghorn
Has done his reputation damage
When he was ejected from church
For using fowl language
YOU TOLD ME YOU’D SPEND YOUR WHOLE LIFE
“You told me you’d spend your whole life
Trying to make me proud to be your wife”
She said to him “So what went wrong?”
He replied “I didn’t know you’d live so long”
I FIND SURVEYS QUITE SURPRISING
I find surveys quite surprising
This result even surprised my cousin
Twelve out of thirteen people
Have never heard of a baker’s dozen
A CHEESY TALE
My love life is like
A wheel of Swiss cheese I think
It’s full of holes
And the remainder tends to stink
MY UNCLE HAS WRITTEN AN EXPOSE
My Uncle has written an expose
It’s a real kiss and tell
About being a vet, it’s called
All creatures grunt and smell
LET ME FULFIL ALL YOUR WISHES
Let me fulfil all your wishes
To shower you with kisses
But please don’t tell the Mrs