Depression, anxiety, phobia..fun stuff like that

[jajdude]

I just recently got some meds, stuff I haven't taken in years. Was feeling an old darkness creep back, and sometimes it's hard to manage, so what the hell, I'll try the old pill again to see if it helps. Concentration has been sporadic, anxiety has been up. Not sure phobia is there, certainly some anxiety around people including family who are a weird bunch anyway. The doctor said he'd put me on a list for CBT (talk therapy) that could take 6 months to get to talk a counselor. I mentioned how hard I find it trying to get a job. I was a teacher overseas for many years, and don't have skills for much, but would do fast food or something even for 6 months or however long just to save some cash and maybe return overseas. The anxiety part comes in when thinking about walking in anywhere there's a "now hiring" sign and asking to see a manager. You know, low skill jobs anyone could do and most people hate. Now I've been out of work for a year or so even though I had some interviews that never seemed to work out for some reason. Must look like I'm not interested or overqualified or they wanted someone younger, but I'll do whatever just to get out of the house and make some money.

Anyway a lot of things contributed to this current feeling, living with my poor old mom who has a pretty severe illness - schizophrenia. Lots of anxiety there daily. Inactivity on my part, some days don't wanna leave the house. Winter. Getting older.

Eh, just wanted express some things. Maybe the meds will help, they seemed to do so in the past. I know I need to try to do other things to get better as well.

[YesNo]

I started reading Lee Jampolsky's "Walking Through Walls". It is an eight week meditation program. I am not depressed, but it looks like it addresses some of my issues as well.

[NikolaiI]

Jajdude - wish you well -

I could not in a million years describe the beneficial effects of Tara Brach, and Thich Nhat Hanh's audio Dharma talks. .

They're compassionate, kind, wise teachers who've spent their lives on healing and peace work. Tara's talks are a little more organized. .

Though I studied the best of religion, philosophy, literature, and the rest (and books like A Primer on Group Psychotherapy by Ray Naar are also, literally, invaluable) it wasn't until I spent several weeks/months learning from Tara, and Hanh that I began to have the deeply transforming experience of understanding emotions, life, nature, and growth; and much more ability to regain my sovereignty.

After a lifetime of genuine curiosity into the world and study and interesting life, these are the foremost teachers of healing, wisdom, kindness, compassion, insight and peace and joy of any I've found in the world today. . May they be of service to you, and the best to you in your journey, friend.

Here is a link to Tara's talks. . . I never listened to her guided meditations - to me that's always best done freely.. but her talks are there..

http://www.tarabrach.com/audiodharma.html

Here's one of the ones from Hanh that always stood out for me greatly. . His are also on Youtube in various places. . The ones on Youtube have singing and chanting; I've never been too interested in that myself, and am just interested in his discourse. Some of the older ones are good, I haven't done any searches lately.

http://zencast.org/zencast_89_being_peace

On this site Zencast, unfortunately, several of Hanh's talks are inter-mixed with music. . . unfortunate in my opinion anyway.

http://audiodharma.org is another resource. . though the only other teacher I have experienced, and therefore can recommend, is Gil Fronsdal. . He and these other two were the three that I focused on.

Take care.

[Helga]

I know what you mean jajdude about getting a job, I find that to be the most terrifying thing ever. I am at uni so I only need a job for the summer but it's scary going somewhere and promote yourself, and when you are filled with self doubt its even worse.

I am currently not on medication but I suffer from anxiety and social phobias, I don't really like meeting people and prefer to stay at home most of the time. I was diagnosed last summer with OCD and these three things seem to work together to make my life difficult.

I can't imagine living with a mentally ill parent, but then again I make my son do that, though it's not that crippling in my case. I can't handle Bingo nights at his school and stuff like that and he complains about that sometimes but I try to do something fun instead. It also took me a long time to accept the fact that he should be allowed to get friends over, I don't like people being in my space.

I have on my screensaver written 'Any social situation could be improved if everyone would leave so I could read in peace' .