Muhammad saeed
12-15-2014, 02:16 PM
Laying in this dark pit, thinking where fault lies. They come and say the fault lies in me. People, when they live, are afraid that after death lest they become food for insects and here I am waiting for insects to eat me and they are not because they say fault lies in me. If some comes to eat sometime runs back. I often implore them to eat me and eat my heart and they say fault lies in my heart, fault lies in me. My heart is most painful piece of my body and I want it to be eaten soon and to be relieved but they don’t eat it because fault lies in me. The place of earth where I lie hates me and treat s me with disgust. It is barren now and no flower is being born on my grave because fault lies in me. The earth is waiting for my body to be eaten by worms and worms are waiting my body to be distorted by earth but no one initiates in its work and here I am laying waiting but nobody annihilates my body because they say fault lies in me. Whenever I think about my fault, words echo in my head that “It’s my day today”.
“What I heard Sir Shook hand with you”.
” Yeah he shook hand with me and thanks God that he helped me so much that Sir liked my paper and as he promised first day he’d shake hands with student who would attempt good paper he did.”
“Boy you are blessed”
“Yeah all is blessings of God”
“Sir is coming”
“Hello class how are you. Please sit down don’t stand every time for me. Ok who will tell when soldier became more pessimistic in the story?”
“When he ran from the captives”
“No”
“Would you like to tell us Raza”
“Well I think he becomes extremely pessimistic when he tried to commit suicide because only in extreme pessimism and desperation one can think about committing suicide”
“That’s what makes Raza great in class because he gives justification of his point and all of you should understand that and I can bet that he can get admission in best universities because of his abilities. So all of you should work hard”
I don’t know when that fault resided in me but I was blind or you can say I didn't want to see that fault was residing in me but according to others the fault lies in me. I remember the days when my examinations were about to start and I was doing work hard and was ambitious to get good marks to get admission in best university. One of my friend told me about my fault but I didn't pay any heed to his words and now I think that if I were paid heed to his words, the end would have been different . He told me that the fault is being resided in me but I thought that he is thinking that because I am not spending much time with him because I was busy in my preparation. But now I think he was right. He was telling me something else and I kept thinking something else. But now it can’t be undone which has been done.
At last examinations started and I was waiting for my loving subject but as water keeps running time ran and the day came. I woke up in the morning and said the words “It’s my day today”. I said these words because I was sure that there is no question in the subject which I can’t answer in my loving subject.
When paper was opened I smiled because it was child play for me and I started to see myself in a best university and thought that no one could stop me from getting admission in good university. And suddenly everything changed because fault lied in me. It was easy I am still convinced and could have been attempted beautifully but I don’t know what happened. It was like darkness veiled on my mind and I wasn't able to think anything. The more I tried to think the more darkness started to prevail in my heart and my mind. I was convinced that it was easy paper but couldn't attempt that and that is what hurts me more. Then the image of university started to blur before my eyes and my heart started to get numb. I don’t know what happened but It felt something blocked my mind and stopped my hand from attempting paper.
Now I am laying here in my grave waiting for my body to be eaten, I think it was those words and my friend was right. My heart gives me pain and I desire it to b eaten soon but fault lies in me. I want flower on my grave but fault lies in me. I want to tell living beings that it is not bad to be eaten because it is more painful when they tell me that fault lies in me and now I believe that “The fault lies in me”.
“What I heard Sir Shook hand with you”.
” Yeah he shook hand with me and thanks God that he helped me so much that Sir liked my paper and as he promised first day he’d shake hands with student who would attempt good paper he did.”
“Boy you are blessed”
“Yeah all is blessings of God”
“Sir is coming”
“Hello class how are you. Please sit down don’t stand every time for me. Ok who will tell when soldier became more pessimistic in the story?”
“When he ran from the captives”
“No”
“Would you like to tell us Raza”
“Well I think he becomes extremely pessimistic when he tried to commit suicide because only in extreme pessimism and desperation one can think about committing suicide”
“That’s what makes Raza great in class because he gives justification of his point and all of you should understand that and I can bet that he can get admission in best universities because of his abilities. So all of you should work hard”
I don’t know when that fault resided in me but I was blind or you can say I didn't want to see that fault was residing in me but according to others the fault lies in me. I remember the days when my examinations were about to start and I was doing work hard and was ambitious to get good marks to get admission in best university. One of my friend told me about my fault but I didn't pay any heed to his words and now I think that if I were paid heed to his words, the end would have been different . He told me that the fault is being resided in me but I thought that he is thinking that because I am not spending much time with him because I was busy in my preparation. But now I think he was right. He was telling me something else and I kept thinking something else. But now it can’t be undone which has been done.
At last examinations started and I was waiting for my loving subject but as water keeps running time ran and the day came. I woke up in the morning and said the words “It’s my day today”. I said these words because I was sure that there is no question in the subject which I can’t answer in my loving subject.
When paper was opened I smiled because it was child play for me and I started to see myself in a best university and thought that no one could stop me from getting admission in good university. And suddenly everything changed because fault lied in me. It was easy I am still convinced and could have been attempted beautifully but I don’t know what happened. It was like darkness veiled on my mind and I wasn't able to think anything. The more I tried to think the more darkness started to prevail in my heart and my mind. I was convinced that it was easy paper but couldn't attempt that and that is what hurts me more. Then the image of university started to blur before my eyes and my heart started to get numb. I don’t know what happened but It felt something blocked my mind and stopped my hand from attempting paper.
Now I am laying here in my grave waiting for my body to be eaten, I think it was those words and my friend was right. My heart gives me pain and I desire it to b eaten soon but fault lies in me. I want flower on my grave but fault lies in me. I want to tell living beings that it is not bad to be eaten because it is more painful when they tell me that fault lies in me and now I believe that “The fault lies in me”.