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Mohammad Ahmad
12-06-2014, 02:57 PM
The very educated Iraqi poetess, Farah Dos

I might blame myself because I didn't read to her only in the last days.
I was familiar with her writings when I was suddenly surfing on the skies of Internet; there I noticed her noticeable name was published in many of biggest forums and websites.
I would apologize not to her only but rather to the busy time I have had, which consumed all of my ability, as well as the general troubles, which come latter to our society.
A woman of word and verse:

Really I felt myself was admired on her and on her poetry, the poetry of a woman, which never have we had since centuries.
As I heard or read that she was approved of to be a student on the college of medicine, but some domestic troubles stand against her not to complete her study and rather she went on writing from that time.
A woman of prestige might not be neglected:
She is familiar when to begin and when to stop, furthermore she is very experienced into how shining, revising, and moreover versifying her poems to be into a glimmering atmosphere, illuminating the dark place covered the datum around.
This shining style of writing is less acquainted to many poets, thus the verse can be read into two different ways.
What can I say more?
It is likely to say or asking a question, why do most poets have never been acquainted by people but only after their death.
Thus, I prefer to write a biography of such poet while he is still alive and for this reason, I am going to translate some of her poems.
Cheers until satisfaction is to her!

Translating the poem

I can't be present \ Farah Dos

In spite of my insistent temper,
I can't be present
When I am on visiting to thee;
Something spurs me the whishing for birth,
for a child yet I don't bear …
He watches my room!
When it disclaims to my bed—
and the sparrow I want in my imagination—
when it denies to my dresses that revealing your perfume
A child by its feeble hands gathers my things,
To be a firewood, as he toys with
What a horror is it that surrounds me?
Once I am being late on visiting you!
Oh, if there was only an advantage!
There is no round table to sit around!
Only a chair and I sat where he points
I am who settling here among letter's scattering
Bothered to wait for the vacant unoccupied seats
While I am signing on the list of absence,
the drowsiness overcomes on my vitality
It will be never roused by the noisy of asphalt
The child turned old and was going to study
It is similar to a breast its nipple turning for back
The hall and things being stuck on nails
Half of them being naked,
leaving their feet on the bed
When the nightingales chant over the cracking colors,
neither you nor doves will wait me
The place of party likely is as a head of a choked bird
Excuse, if you arrange the presence on its consequence
Or to hold the sessions in the side of masks
The masked-jokers, who are sticky to the picture,
stain the ball by the concept
So that the deaf one will laugh,
as well as the bereaved mother before sleeping…
I can't be present where their statues are erected
Likely are as doll going to cry
And I am between your crazy fingers,
as a kiss of a pop-eyed
Politicians laugh pretending fearing upon us
Cooperating to wash the eye by the raider's rag
Thus, the poet is forgiven because he was absent
---------


أنا القابعة هنا في شتات الحرف
تزعجني المقاعد التي تتسع
I am who settling here among letter's scattering
Bothered to wait the vacant unoccupied seats
________________________________________

لا أستطيع الحضور / فرح دوسكي


*على الرغم من لجاجتي
" " "
لا استطيعُ الحضور
*وأنا ذاهبةٌ إليكَ
تجرفني رغبة طفل لم انجبه
يراقبُ غرفتي
وهي تتنصلُ عن سريري وعصفور مخيلتي
تتنصلُ عن فساتيني التي تشي برائحتك..
طفلٌ بيديه الواهنتين يحطبُ اشيائي
يا له من رعبٍ يؤخرني عنك َ
آآآآه ....لو ثمة نافذة..
ليس ثمة طاولة*
لكنه الكرسي، جلستْ حيثُ أشار
أنا القابعة هنا في شتات الحرف
تزعجني المقاعد التي تتسع
وانا أوقعُ على الغيابِ ثم انقلبَ..
النعاسُ حيويتي*
لا يوقظهُ ضجيجَ الإسفلت
الطفلُ بات كهلا وهو ذاهبٌ إلى الدرسِ
كنهد... حلمِتهُ للوراءِ..
القاعةُ والأشياءُ تتشبثُ بالمساميرِ
نصفُها عاريةً تركتْ اقدامها في السرير..
حين تشدو البلابلُ على صراخ الالوان*
لـــــ ... أنتَ والحمامُ بانتظاري
المحفلُ سيكون كرأسِ طائرٍ مختنقْ..
*عذراً..
إن علقتُ الحضورَ على المؤخرات ِ
وربطتُ الجلساتِ بخاصرةِ الاقنعة
المُهرِّجونَ المقَنعُونَ من داخل اللوحةِ
يصبغونَ الكرةَ بالفكرةِ
ليضحك الاصمْ والشعور والأم الثكلى قبلَ النوم..
* لا أستطيع...
تحت تماثيلهم، الدميةُ تبكي
وأنا بين اصابعك المجنونةِ قبلةً جاحظةَ العيينين..
*الساسةُ يضحكون خوفًا علينا
فنمسحُ العينَ بخرقةِ الوطنِ المحتل
عذراً ..للشاعرِ في الغياب...

Delta40
12-09-2014, 06:08 PM
Again I cant help but feel some of Farah's work is lost in translation as the grammar is questionable when read in English. I'm not sure what letter dispersal means other than distributing mail or flyers. Perhaps the slots at the mailing centre?

Despite that, I could still appreciate the yearning and sense of emptiness reflected throughout. Wish for a child, a sparrow in her imagination, unoccupied seats, signing up for absence, things stuck on nails, bereavement and laughter of the deaf.

I'm sorry I could not read it in it's original form

Mohammad Ahmad
12-10-2014, 11:11 AM
[QUOTE=Delta40;1276479]Again I cant help but feel some of Farah's work is lost in translation as the grammar is questionable when read in English. I'm not sure what letter dispersal means other than distributing mail or flyers. Perhaps the slots at the mailing centre?

Despite that, I could still appreciate the yearning and sense of emptiness reflected throughout. Wish for a child, a sparrow in her imagination, unoccupied seats, signing up for absence, things stuck on nails, bereavement and laughter of the deaf.

I'm sorry I could not read it in it's original form[/QUOTE ]


Hi Detla

I might admit that you are the ever pleasant person, I should keep friendship with as far as I am alive.
Let me continue

1- How to translate poetry:

Either you are to keep semantically with the verses you deal with i.e. to closely follow the Source language or to communicatively follow the target language.
If you closely follow the Source language, in this case, you are in the correct way but as I see as well as many translators see, it is better to balance or to accord between the SL and TL.

2- Free translation:

Indeed the free translation is a good method for translation literature but still is not desirable by many specialists.
To find the equivalent words in the TL (the language translate for) is the better.

3- Going to grammar:

For examples, adjectives in Arabic language come after the nouns while in English language adjectives precede nouns and in English language, there is no attached pronoun while in Arabic there is, for this reason, each language has its own properties.
Now going to examples from the translated work

For the word you mentioned (dispersal), it means, scattering, disbanding, and dissipation as synonymous meanings.
Dos said that she dislikes settling on the unoccupied seats. Likewise literally, she said that she dislikes the seats, which are capable to receive more people, and I changed it to be unoccupied seats, thus she dislikes noisy and the places where throng of people attended or in other word, she wants to be alone for some reasons on her mind.

In the preceding line, she said that she would like to settle down between the scattering letters, but here I kept on SL, i.e. I translate noun for noun but I can say for example i.e. to semantically follow SL.
I am here who settling between the dispersals of letters or between the scatterings of letters.
Here if I follow the English language, i.e. if I translate one of the nouns for adjective or likewise for verb, it can be, but the meaning will be differed.
Or: I am who used to be in the midst of scattering letters, but the meaning slightly will be changed.

4- Translation and criticism

Most of critics will blame the translator if they notice in his translation the meaning is changed even if it is very little, thus, the translation because of those is a hard job because you can't satisfy all people to agree on your view.
Thank you Delta, I am glad to see you again.

Delta40
12-10-2014, 12:06 PM
Lol. It's subtle but makes a world of a difference in the reading. Better to write, 'I who am/have settled here among scattered letters' to convey the meaning more accurately. I cannot imagine the task you have set yourself. You have the standard of accuracy and quality to uphold to the poet's work while ensuring it reads correctly in the translation.

Yet surely our emotions share a common verse?

Mohammad Ahmad
12-10-2014, 12:48 PM
Yes it is a good suggestion, and indeed I know this but as I said for you the meaning will be slightly different, altogether the way you suggested is better, I know but what to do with who does not exactly know the English language, thus I preferred the English than Arabic because of its much subtle meanings and looks pleasant rather than Arabic.
I said for Cacian one day it is better for me to write ten poems not to translate one.
For example the title which I translate for: I can't be present it goes suitable with the English language but to Arabic somehow is not like but carries the same notion i.e. not literally but is nice here, if said for example I don't attend it can be but the first one is more excellent.
Generally English language has synonyms more than the Arabic language and because this feature I love it
Good Luck pal I hope that you are interested in my work.

Mohammad Ahmad
12-10-2014, 02:30 PM
Again I thank you Delta, somehow I take into your suggestion
look to these examples comparing between English and Arabic
وردة حمراء
وردة = flower ( n)
حمراء = red ( adjective)
sentence in English:
Red flower
in Arabic there is gender on adjective if the word is feminine the adjective will follow the order and so on, but in English it is equal ( neutral )
I hope we shall work together and as I previously mentioned I always need your suggestion
Lord keep you