Biggus
11-07-2014, 04:39 AM
EVERY WEEKEND IN ESSEX-LAND
Every weekend in Essex-land
Daddies precious little petal
Gets off her tits and tanked up
On gallons of Princess Petrol
MARRIED FOR TWELVE YEARS
When I said I’d been married for twelve years
My best mate laughed himself in to tears
“You’d have got less for murder” He said flat
“No I wouldn’t” I said “I already thought of that”
WINE BOXES AREN’T FOR THE SNOBS
Wine boxes aren’t for the snobs
But what makes them unwhackable
Is unlike the odd shaped bottles
All the Wine boxes are stackable
I CAN SAY FROM EXPERIENCE
I can say from experience
Marriage is in no way like prison
And the reason I say that
Is you get far more sex in prison
IN THE CORRIDORS AT MY SCHOOL
In the corridors at my school
We were allowed to run
There was a simple explanation,
We didn’t have a gymnasium
ARE YOU WEARING A PARTY HAT?
Are you wearing a party hat?
As it’s a Thanksgiving hat
And the family is all together
I will give thanks for that
THE OFFER THAT SWUNG THE VOTE
The offer that swung the vote
On the recent referendum day
Was lowering healthy portions
From five, to three a day
TO UNDERSTAND DISABILITY
To understand disability, you should
Put yourself in their place
You might want to start by using
A disabled Parking space
AFRICA HAS ITS PROBLEMS
Africa has its problems
With the outbreak of Ebola
But spare a thought for
Every Little Englander
Who is exposed every
Summer to Tombola
DR WHO IS VERY, VERY OLD
Dr Who is very, very old
Even for a time traveller
And I think he is also
Suffering from Dimensia
Every weekend in Essex-land
Daddies precious little petal
Gets off her tits and tanked up
On gallons of Princess Petrol
MARRIED FOR TWELVE YEARS
When I said I’d been married for twelve years
My best mate laughed himself in to tears
“You’d have got less for murder” He said flat
“No I wouldn’t” I said “I already thought of that”
WINE BOXES AREN’T FOR THE SNOBS
Wine boxes aren’t for the snobs
But what makes them unwhackable
Is unlike the odd shaped bottles
All the Wine boxes are stackable
I CAN SAY FROM EXPERIENCE
I can say from experience
Marriage is in no way like prison
And the reason I say that
Is you get far more sex in prison
IN THE CORRIDORS AT MY SCHOOL
In the corridors at my school
We were allowed to run
There was a simple explanation,
We didn’t have a gymnasium
ARE YOU WEARING A PARTY HAT?
Are you wearing a party hat?
As it’s a Thanksgiving hat
And the family is all together
I will give thanks for that
THE OFFER THAT SWUNG THE VOTE
The offer that swung the vote
On the recent referendum day
Was lowering healthy portions
From five, to three a day
TO UNDERSTAND DISABILITY
To understand disability, you should
Put yourself in their place
You might want to start by using
A disabled Parking space
AFRICA HAS ITS PROBLEMS
Africa has its problems
With the outbreak of Ebola
But spare a thought for
Every Little Englander
Who is exposed every
Summer to Tombola
DR WHO IS VERY, VERY OLD
Dr Who is very, very old
Even for a time traveller
And I think he is also
Suffering from Dimensia