yorkoa
11-01-2014, 07:06 PM
Here is an edited version of chapter one. I haven't completed it yet, but here is what I have so far.
Chapter 1
7/14/1993
Waves crashed against the rocks and sent salt particles into the air. My sister stuck her tongue out and closed her eyes. Wind pushed back the brunette hair that stuck out of her pink helmet, and her purple shirt flapped. A bicycler nearly crashed into a tree trying to move out of her way.
“Hey! Watch where you’re going!” yelled the bicycler.
“Sorry, sir!” we yelled. We looked back at him and he was shaking his fist. We laughed. My sister hated laughing because it revealed her crooked front teeth. She never smiled in pictures, and she couldn’t get braces yet because she still had some baby teeth. You knew something was especially funny when you saw my sister laughing.
“You gotta try it, Austin!” said my sister. “Just close your eyes and open your mouth! You can taste the salt in the air!” I followed her advice and immediately regretted it after. She grabbed my arm and spun me across the bike path, sending me spiraling into a bush alongside the path. The thorns cut into the open skin on my legs and arms. “Come and get me!” she yelled.
I wiggled around in the bush trying to free myself from its grasp. The thorns cut deeper into my skin the more I struggled. I started crying when I realized my sister wasn’t going to come back to help me. I looked down the bike path and she was already out of sight.
“Help! Help!” I panicked. Luckily, my parents weren’t too far behind us. They came around the corner, heard my screams, and saw my feet sticking out of the bush. My Mom stopped suddenly and came to my aid. She reached down and freed me. She stood me up and brushed away some of the thorns stuck into my shirt and shorts.
“Austin! What happened?” she asked, as she helped me pull the thorns out of my legs and arms. Blood trickled out of the open wounds. My dad pulled off his white shirt and wiped the blood away.
“Jamie tricked me,” I said as tears rolled down my cheeks. “She told me to close my eyes and open my mouth so I could taste the salt, but then she spun me out of control into this bush.”
“Well,” said my Dad, “that wasn’t very nice of her. We will stop for ice cream on the way home and you can get whatever you want, and she will get nothing! Maybe she will think twice about picking on her brother next time. Where is she?”
“I don’t know, she skated down the path,” I said, as I wiped away the final tears on my cheeks.
“Let’s go get her!” yelled my Dad. My mom gave him a dirty look, the type of look that wives give their husbands when the husband is being selfish without knowing it. My Dad looked down at me and said, “Do you want to keep skating or do you want to go back to the car?”
“I’ll keep skating” I said. My dad fought in the wars, and I knew he never let a few thorns keep him from COMPLETING his mission. Also, the idea of me getting ice cream and my sister getting nothing on the way home helped me forget about the pain in my arms and legs. We skated down the path in the direction of my sister. My parents glided smoothly along the surface. They were experienced skaters, and I was just an amateur. I clunked alongside them trying to keep up. We came up to a turn in the path and my sister waited behind a tree.
“Boo!” she yelled as she jumped out from behind the tree.
“Ahh!” screamed my mom. My mom nearly lost control of her skates and nearly fell backwards. She tried to catch her balance but found it impossible because she had wheels attached to her shoes. My dad caught her before she hit the ground. My sister and I laughed because the whole thing looked like a scene from the three stooges. “Jamie! Don’t scare me like that!”
“Jamie, did you push your brother into a thorn bush?” asked my Dad as he set my mom on her feet. My sister looked at the ground and kicked some dirt around with her skate.
“Well, I didn’t know it was a thorn bush,” said my sister as she looked down with a frown on her face.
“You could have really hurt him!” yelled my mother. “Now, apologize to your brother, and stop picking on him!”
“Sorry, Austin,” she said. “I really didn’t know it was a thorn bush. I wouldn’t have done it if I knew that, I swear!”
“It’s okay,” I replied. She rolled over to me and wrapped her arms around me. She irritated some of the open wounds on my arms, and a sour look came across my face. I freed my arms and hugged her back.
“Do you feel like going home or do you want to keep skating?” asked my Dad.
“I’ll keep going,” I said. We skated down the bike path along the coast, and it eventually weaved into the forest. We skated into the forest and my parents and sister kept getting ahead of me. There were a lot more hills in the forest, and they stopped at the top of each one to wait for me. I clunked up the hill doing my best to keep up with them. Finally, we got to the biggest hill I ever saw.
“Are you sure you want to do this, Austin?” asked my Dad at the top of the hill.
“Yeah, I can do it!” I assured him.
“Alright, your mom and I will go first, then your sister, then you,” he instructed. My parents rolled down the hill quickly and smoothly. They reached the bottom and stopped abruptly. My sister followed shortly after. She rolled down smoothly, stood straight up, and spread her arms out as she rolled down. She stopped not too far after my parents.
Finally, it was my turn. I started SLOW at the top. I didn’t want to add any extra pushes because I knew the hill was going to carry me just fine. My body gained momentum quickly. Everything in my peripheral vision blended together into a blur. I knew I was safe from my sister so I opened my mouth and closed my eyes. A thousand bugs flew into my mouth when I did that. I spit out the bugs and shut my mouth quickly. I kept my eyes closed and spread my arms out like my sister did. The wind whistled past my helmet. Nothing but the sound of nature and yells in the distance filled my ears. The yelling became more distinct when I got closer to the bottom.
“Open your eyes! Open your eyes!” yelled my Dad. I tried to open my eyes quickly, but it was too late. A family of bikers stood directly five feet in front of me. They moved faster than I did, and neither of us had any time to stop. I attempted to move out of their way last second, but found it impossible. My skate hit the Dad’s FRONT TIRE, and I think I did a front flip right over him. My left pinky finger hit the ground first and tried to support all of my weight. It snapped, and I slid across the ground. The bikers slammed on their brakes and turned around.
“Oh my God! Are you okay! I’m so sorry!” apologized the biker. Tears were already flowing down my face. Scrapes and wounds covered the exposed parts of my body. My finger throbbed. My Dad and Mom skated over to me and knelt down. My sister skated down towards us and knelt beside me, too.
“It’s okay, he hasn’t been skating for very long,” said my Dad as he looked up at the biker.
“Do you want us to call for help?” asked the biker.
“No, we aren’t too far from our car, thank you though,” assured my Dad. The bikers carried on up the hill that had just almost killed me. They struggled up the hill. My mom and dad pulled off my skates. Luckily, we were less than a quarter mile away from the car. My dad picked me up. My arms immediately wrapped around his neck and I held my broken pinky as he skated us to the car.
Chapter 1
7/14/1993
Waves crashed against the rocks and sent salt particles into the air. My sister stuck her tongue out and closed her eyes. Wind pushed back the brunette hair that stuck out of her pink helmet, and her purple shirt flapped. A bicycler nearly crashed into a tree trying to move out of her way.
“Hey! Watch where you’re going!” yelled the bicycler.
“Sorry, sir!” we yelled. We looked back at him and he was shaking his fist. We laughed. My sister hated laughing because it revealed her crooked front teeth. She never smiled in pictures, and she couldn’t get braces yet because she still had some baby teeth. You knew something was especially funny when you saw my sister laughing.
“You gotta try it, Austin!” said my sister. “Just close your eyes and open your mouth! You can taste the salt in the air!” I followed her advice and immediately regretted it after. She grabbed my arm and spun me across the bike path, sending me spiraling into a bush alongside the path. The thorns cut into the open skin on my legs and arms. “Come and get me!” she yelled.
I wiggled around in the bush trying to free myself from its grasp. The thorns cut deeper into my skin the more I struggled. I started crying when I realized my sister wasn’t going to come back to help me. I looked down the bike path and she was already out of sight.
“Help! Help!” I panicked. Luckily, my parents weren’t too far behind us. They came around the corner, heard my screams, and saw my feet sticking out of the bush. My Mom stopped suddenly and came to my aid. She reached down and freed me. She stood me up and brushed away some of the thorns stuck into my shirt and shorts.
“Austin! What happened?” she asked, as she helped me pull the thorns out of my legs and arms. Blood trickled out of the open wounds. My dad pulled off his white shirt and wiped the blood away.
“Jamie tricked me,” I said as tears rolled down my cheeks. “She told me to close my eyes and open my mouth so I could taste the salt, but then she spun me out of control into this bush.”
“Well,” said my Dad, “that wasn’t very nice of her. We will stop for ice cream on the way home and you can get whatever you want, and she will get nothing! Maybe she will think twice about picking on her brother next time. Where is she?”
“I don’t know, she skated down the path,” I said, as I wiped away the final tears on my cheeks.
“Let’s go get her!” yelled my Dad. My mom gave him a dirty look, the type of look that wives give their husbands when the husband is being selfish without knowing it. My Dad looked down at me and said, “Do you want to keep skating or do you want to go back to the car?”
“I’ll keep skating” I said. My dad fought in the wars, and I knew he never let a few thorns keep him from COMPLETING his mission. Also, the idea of me getting ice cream and my sister getting nothing on the way home helped me forget about the pain in my arms and legs. We skated down the path in the direction of my sister. My parents glided smoothly along the surface. They were experienced skaters, and I was just an amateur. I clunked alongside them trying to keep up. We came up to a turn in the path and my sister waited behind a tree.
“Boo!” she yelled as she jumped out from behind the tree.
“Ahh!” screamed my mom. My mom nearly lost control of her skates and nearly fell backwards. She tried to catch her balance but found it impossible because she had wheels attached to her shoes. My dad caught her before she hit the ground. My sister and I laughed because the whole thing looked like a scene from the three stooges. “Jamie! Don’t scare me like that!”
“Jamie, did you push your brother into a thorn bush?” asked my Dad as he set my mom on her feet. My sister looked at the ground and kicked some dirt around with her skate.
“Well, I didn’t know it was a thorn bush,” said my sister as she looked down with a frown on her face.
“You could have really hurt him!” yelled my mother. “Now, apologize to your brother, and stop picking on him!”
“Sorry, Austin,” she said. “I really didn’t know it was a thorn bush. I wouldn’t have done it if I knew that, I swear!”
“It’s okay,” I replied. She rolled over to me and wrapped her arms around me. She irritated some of the open wounds on my arms, and a sour look came across my face. I freed my arms and hugged her back.
“Do you feel like going home or do you want to keep skating?” asked my Dad.
“I’ll keep going,” I said. We skated down the bike path along the coast, and it eventually weaved into the forest. We skated into the forest and my parents and sister kept getting ahead of me. There were a lot more hills in the forest, and they stopped at the top of each one to wait for me. I clunked up the hill doing my best to keep up with them. Finally, we got to the biggest hill I ever saw.
“Are you sure you want to do this, Austin?” asked my Dad at the top of the hill.
“Yeah, I can do it!” I assured him.
“Alright, your mom and I will go first, then your sister, then you,” he instructed. My parents rolled down the hill quickly and smoothly. They reached the bottom and stopped abruptly. My sister followed shortly after. She rolled down smoothly, stood straight up, and spread her arms out as she rolled down. She stopped not too far after my parents.
Finally, it was my turn. I started SLOW at the top. I didn’t want to add any extra pushes because I knew the hill was going to carry me just fine. My body gained momentum quickly. Everything in my peripheral vision blended together into a blur. I knew I was safe from my sister so I opened my mouth and closed my eyes. A thousand bugs flew into my mouth when I did that. I spit out the bugs and shut my mouth quickly. I kept my eyes closed and spread my arms out like my sister did. The wind whistled past my helmet. Nothing but the sound of nature and yells in the distance filled my ears. The yelling became more distinct when I got closer to the bottom.
“Open your eyes! Open your eyes!” yelled my Dad. I tried to open my eyes quickly, but it was too late. A family of bikers stood directly five feet in front of me. They moved faster than I did, and neither of us had any time to stop. I attempted to move out of their way last second, but found it impossible. My skate hit the Dad’s FRONT TIRE, and I think I did a front flip right over him. My left pinky finger hit the ground first and tried to support all of my weight. It snapped, and I slid across the ground. The bikers slammed on their brakes and turned around.
“Oh my God! Are you okay! I’m so sorry!” apologized the biker. Tears were already flowing down my face. Scrapes and wounds covered the exposed parts of my body. My finger throbbed. My Dad and Mom skated over to me and knelt down. My sister skated down towards us and knelt beside me, too.
“It’s okay, he hasn’t been skating for very long,” said my Dad as he looked up at the biker.
“Do you want us to call for help?” asked the biker.
“No, we aren’t too far from our car, thank you though,” assured my Dad. The bikers carried on up the hill that had just almost killed me. They struggled up the hill. My mom and dad pulled off my skates. Luckily, we were less than a quarter mile away from the car. My dad picked me up. My arms immediately wrapped around his neck and I held my broken pinky as he skated us to the car.