Tellin' It Like It Ain't

[AuntShecky]

“A lie goes half-way around the world before the truth puts on its shoes.”
–Mark Twain (attributed)

Tellin’ It Like It Ain’t

This earth doesn’t move
on love or money.
Unlike a Swiss clock,
nothing really is so precise;
no cryptic gnomes wind the springs.

Wilder imps conspire instead.
Tarted-up falsehoods soak themselves
as their demon pimps crank the taps.

Here and there a squeaky Diogenes
gropes around for the truth, as for soap
in the mist of a shower’s fog.
Better to let it slip
and spin down the drain.

Stubborn as scum, ersatz comfort remains
amid the flakes and foam of assumption:
a woman’s delusion that she looks good
in a baseball cap, a pair of capris, a halter top;
a man’s surprise that half the population
fails to share his deep love
for his own genitals;
that a habit of surviving cruelty and death
somehow strengthens the human soul
and bestows precious wisdom.
Yet sure as the sun when the suffering concludes,
weakness clings and stupidity still prevails.

Here and there –
no, over there - an insect
buzzes near the scuttlebutt.
On the water cooler the fly
drops a speck, picks up a speck,
leaps back, takes off,
and lands

again and again
on bigger and bigger
steamy piles

left by gossipy tenants –
the world’s ugly roomers* –
who won’t move away,
refusing to keep their shirts on
and their pants.



*Thanks to Frank Sullivan

[Hawkman]

A delightfully misanthropic rant, Auntie. Some quite delicious wordplay worthy of a heartfelt groan:

"...Gossipy tenants - the world's ugly roomers," although, as a born again masculinist, I quiver with outrage at the militant feminist slant casting aspersions on my god-given right to regard my genitals as a source of infinite fascination for that portion of the female population unfortunate enough not to be intimately acquainted with them.

Not sure how something drops up, but hey, you are tell in' like it ain't, after all... ;)

An entertaining read!

Live and be well - H

[Haunted]

A truckload of wonderful imageries here, the soap is my favorite. Enjoy the cleverness, had a ball with the "man's surprise", no pun intended!

[DieterM]

love this, auntie! And apparently Hawk, haunted and I giggled at the same passage, the one where haunted had a ball (or two?) ;-) Anyway, well observed and wittily written. With just that little spark of hope—you claim that "half the population/fails to share [my] deep love/for [my] own genitals". That still leaves the other half. For which my genitals and I wish to express how grateful we are!

[AuntShecky]

Thank you, fellow NitLetters--Hawkman, Haunted, and Dieter. This ditty is a reaction to America's tendency toward paranoia, fed by unsubstantiated heresay. Like the "death panel" and "bar codes imbedded under the skin" fears about the Affordable Care Act, and most recently as the national hysteria overthe Ebola virus.

Hawk, the "drop up" was a typo. since amended. Re: the metaphor including "ugly roomer"-- I can't take full credit for it.
Confirming it just this morning, with a quick "Google" check, I am aware that the phrase originated with the great Frank Sullivan, who at one time shared living quarters with Corey Ford, and referred to himself as "Ford's ugly roomer." I assume this was before they both became humorists on The New Yorker staff during the Algonquin Round Table era. That's my feeble little homage to Frank, while knowing full well what T. S. Eliot said: "Bad poets borrow; good poets steal."

The Nietzsche reference is by no means a homage, though. I've got nothin' against the German crank but I resent contemporary dudes who like to quote his line "That which doesn't kill me makes me stronger" which somehow leads them to believe that they are supermen.

[Delta40]

Only half? I'm disappointed in your willingness to give mankind such deluded hope however your biting wit and mastery of language is at its best here and a joy to read x

[AuntShecky]

Only half? I'm disappointed in your willingness to give mankind such deluded hope however your biting wit and mastery of language is at its best here and a joy to read x

Thank you, Delta.

I guess I'm neither a half-full nor half-empty kind of gal. What I meant by that line was the entire female population, rougly half the world's population. The other half, the world's males, would be presumably interested strictly upon a comparison basis (so I've gathered.) The conceit is -- like viral rumors themselves -- a gross exaggeration.

To get a realistic perspective, let me illustrate: according to a current almanac population of China is estimated to be 1,349,585, 838. But I don't personally know a single soul there.

[DATo]

Nice poem Auntie!

I just swatted a fly in my office with a newspaper. It was just a little fly ... a mere flyling. I was hoping it wasn't YOUR fly, and when I checked your poem your fly was still there, so it wasn't.

I noted your response to Hawkman in which you mentioned T.S. Eliot's famous quote - "Bad poets borrow. Good poets steal." This reminded me of a quote by Eric Hoffer who once said ... "To create is to steal. When a cow eats grass the cow does not become grass, the grass becomes a cow."

[AuntShecky]

Ha, ha, DATo. Even the editing reason in the tiny print was funny!You were lucky you actually had a newspaper handy. From what I read, not too many newspapers are still around today. You'd never know that from one look at my cluttered abode. I think I've got some newsps. still lying around from 1999! Not to the point of appearing on that "Hoarders" reality show, though.

Speaking of the tube, have you ever seen Craig Ferguson and his robot sidekick do impressions of Jay Leno, Jimmy Fallon, Liam Neeson et al. as flies? Yours fooly will be sorry to see that show leave the airways come December. Then again, I'll won't have any excuse not to get to bed at a decent hour.

[AuntShecky]

Just to add an afterthought:

I've come to the conclusion that there are two features about my fellow Americans. First, nothing makes them feel as good as a rush of righteous indignation, and secondly, they'll believe anything, just as long as they hear it often enough. For instance, the following statements are imbedded within the national consciousness merely because they have been constantly repeated:


1. "You can catch the Ebola virus via casual contact." (Nope. While it is indeed a deadly disease, it's difficult to catch other than through direct contact with bodily fluids from a victim who is already exhibiting the symptoms.)

2. "Ronald Reagan cut taxes." (Wrong again. He actually raised them.)

3. "The Affordable Care Act ('Obamacare') will require death panels and bar codes imbedded under the skin." (Looney tunes-style paranoia.)

4. "Biblical miracles, the Great Pyramids and other archeological marvels, and modern-day technological achievements are all the result of ancient aliens visiting our planet." (Yeah,right. Just what the Egyptians need -- a bunch of wild-eyed, bushy-haired reality show nuts telling them that their ancestors were too dumb to build their own tourist attractions.)

5. Kim Kardashian and her kin deserve celebrity status.

[Delta40]

Free healthcare for all should be more contagious than ebola!

Tell us what the difference ain't between imbedded and embedded!

[AuntShecky]

Tell us what the difference ain't between imbedded and embedded!

The dictionary lists the former as a variant of the latter. Variants are the spice o' life.

[Delta40]

The dictionary lists the former as a variant of the latter. Variants are the spice o' life.

They certainly are. I have not seen imbedded embedded in text for a while so it really stuck out! I love your use of language auntie.

[Jerrybaldy]

Good to see you so cynical auntie. X