Anything (II)

[DieterM]

We only spend
one night together,
sharing thoughts,
then silences,
and finally positions:
missionary, doggy, sixty-nine.
When all is shagged and done,
we share a cigarette.
And then the morning coughs,
reminding us of what
we do not want to share.
You make a funny face
and then your getaway
into the bathroom.
I catch a last glimpse
of your a ss,
your sorry sagging a ss,
and with relief I realize
that I don’t fancy you,
that I don’t love you.

[YesNo]

I liked the alliteration between "shagged" and "share".

The poetic challenge would be to find a way to fancy and love her and present that to the reader.

[Hawkman]

It's the last two lines that bother me about this one, Dieter. One or the other, I feel, but not both. Given the context of spending "...one night together," the implication of a one-night-stand rather negates the possibility of feeling love in any meaningful sense. However, it does fit with "relief". The realisation that the narrator doesn't even "fancy" the other, would seem to suggest less that he feels relief, but more that he feels revulsion. This is conveyed by, "your sorry sagging a ss," so I'd incline to cutting the, "that I don't fancy you". The overemphasis created by both lines slightly overextends the verse, which spoils the punch of the finish.
Also I'm unure about the repetition of a ss. You could have gone straight to "[of] your sorry sagging a ss,", but I can see why you'd want to emphasise it. I'm just not convinced that it's necessary.

Live and be well - H

[Haunted]

I loved this one D. I agree 50% with Hawk, I think the last line is not necessary, but I'd keep the second last. It'd make a perfect end for me.