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Lykren
10-22-2014, 12:00 AM
Her ideas curling over the edge
of her face like the sun a broom
of soft bristles, they mirror
the water a mirror, heavier than
the damp middle of the sand
of the thoughtless narrows.

Lucky to be judged lightly
she slips down the night hall
and further on into the future,
good dreams guiding. What she
approaches lives alone like
anyone else, beside these
meetings, how will I name them,
at the edge of death life

a split star




Thank you for reading.

YesNo
10-22-2014, 08:43 AM
I liked the idea of ideas curling over the edge of a person's face in the first part. Also "thoughtless narrows". I didn't understand how the title fit in nor the final line about the split star.

Lykren
10-22-2014, 06:58 PM
I'm regretting the title and last line, actually.