zzzaaappp
10-21-2014, 11:35 AM
This is my first stab at a short story.
It is based on an old story retold from a different perspective.
It might not be 100% true to the original, but I feel that it is close enough in spirit.
Your comments are very welcome.
Salomeel, Lemuel and Barabbas
Daniel Duncan
"In my vision at night I looked, and there before me was one like a son of man, coming with the clouds of heaven. He approached the Ancient of Days and was led into his presence."
They hadn't eaten for three days. How had they come to this, taken from
their homes in The Senegal where they had ruled as Kings and Queens? Now in this strange land, they were no better than chattel. Salomeel watched the two males with the studied indifference so common to the females of her tribe. The smaller of the two males was named Lemuel, not yet grown to full strength. He had the watchful air of many young males, waiting his turn, ever mindful of any show of weakness by the larger, older male. He was more than ready to take his place beside Salomeel. The larger male was known as Barabbas. Barabbas of the Senegal. Strong, indomitable, he was the unquestioned ruler of the plains and valleys. Possessed of a terrible mating lust, he had spilled blood and seed in all parts of his province.
They were prisoners here, confined to dark quarters, only allowed in the sunlight when they were participants in The Spectacles. Salomeel watched Barabbas in the shafts of white light that filtered down from the stone ceilings. He seemed placid, and yet, Salomeel dared not approach him. She was well aware of how quickly his calm could turn to rage at an instant. She knew her place, but her place was not to be the weaker vessel. She was Salomeel, the death bringer, the stalker in the shadows. She killed in the same cold manner in which she now watched Barabbas. Salomeel had not yet come to full season, but that time was approaching quickly. She was starting to feel the first stirrings of her need, her need to be pinned under the terrible bulk of Barabbas. Lemuel, ever watchful, sensed this need but sat quietly, biding his awful time. He had once approached Salomeel during her time of procreation and had paid a terrible price for it,
his eye gouged from his scull by Barabbas in a fit of jealous rage. And so they waited, sensing that if they did not eat soon, they would die.
They heard the footsteps first, then the rolling of the stone that covered their door. They listened for the usual high pitched sounds, but heard nothing. Then, the padding of footsteps as something descended the stone stairs. It was one of the soft ones, a male dressed in blue robes, possessing the facial hair that was so common to his kind. He stopped half way down the stairs and beheld the death that awaited him...and he smiled. Salomeel, Lemuel and Barabbas slowly raised to their feet as one. The soft one reached toward them with both hands open, causing Barabbas to rumble deeply in his throat. Salomeel awaited a sign from Barabbas, but none was forthcoming. This distressed her in a way that she could not explain. The soft one slowly walked down the stairs to the killing floor, still no signal, he crouched slowly to a sitting position, legs crossed beneath his blue robes. There was something in the way that this one moved that seemed to transfix the males. This one did not make the jerky fear movements that they knew so well. He seemed calm and unafraid, and this more than anything else perplexed Salomeel, Lemuel and most especially, Barabbas. The man's eyes, also held their mysteries. They were gifted with the luminance of one who had seen much, yet they were not without a touch of sadness, perhaps resignation also, but lo, they were free of fear.
For three days this was so. Their hunger was becoming unbearable, and yet, still no sign from Barabbas. Lemuel deemed that his time was quickly approaching.
He sensed confusion and reticence in Barabbas, and the yearnings of Salomeel as well. They listened as the man spoke softly, his hands outstretched, his upturned face bathed in a shaft of light. In the night hours, the man slept, protected in a soft radiant glow. He ate or drank not, as it seemed he had no need for such things. The keepers would return by day and after rolling away the stone, seemed amazed to hear that their prisoner was still possessed of life and voice. Salomeel could taste the fear in the men's voices. On the third day, Lemuel, raging with hunger and lust, went as to attack the soft one. As he did so, the cave was flooded by a braying sound that Salomeel recognized from The Spectacles. The cave was bathed in a scouring yellow light forcing Salomeel to turn her head. When she finally cast her green eyes skyward she beheld a figure gleaming with a faultless splendor. Barabbas and Lemuel, forgetting what sort of beasts they were, lay prone on the cave floor.
A stranger had come among them.... he had come with wings. Salomeel, Lemuel and Barabbas could not have known... this creature was Gabriel, the Archangel
of the Annunciation, the Messenger of Yahweh, the Herald of the Heavenly Hosts. Gabriel.The Prophet of Armageddon, the Seraph of The Book of Enoch, Mighty even among the Mightiest. He hovered above them, cloaked in the fiery radiance of redemption. Being immaculate creatures themselves, they sensed the terrible, stainless purity of this stranger. Gabriel gazed down upon them as a new Father might behold his first born, and though they understood it not, a peace came over them. They received a clarity of insight unknown to their kind and in receiving this righteous gift.... they laid low their shaggy heads. Gabriel then approached them one by one, and as he wrapped his healing wings round them, their hunger was no more. Gabriel gathered the soft one into his folds, and as they ascended, Salomeel heard a voice; a voice as clear as the summer winds that swept through the grasses of The Senegal.
It simply said, "Daniel"
It is based on an old story retold from a different perspective.
It might not be 100% true to the original, but I feel that it is close enough in spirit.
Your comments are very welcome.
Salomeel, Lemuel and Barabbas
Daniel Duncan
"In my vision at night I looked, and there before me was one like a son of man, coming with the clouds of heaven. He approached the Ancient of Days and was led into his presence."
They hadn't eaten for three days. How had they come to this, taken from
their homes in The Senegal where they had ruled as Kings and Queens? Now in this strange land, they were no better than chattel. Salomeel watched the two males with the studied indifference so common to the females of her tribe. The smaller of the two males was named Lemuel, not yet grown to full strength. He had the watchful air of many young males, waiting his turn, ever mindful of any show of weakness by the larger, older male. He was more than ready to take his place beside Salomeel. The larger male was known as Barabbas. Barabbas of the Senegal. Strong, indomitable, he was the unquestioned ruler of the plains and valleys. Possessed of a terrible mating lust, he had spilled blood and seed in all parts of his province.
They were prisoners here, confined to dark quarters, only allowed in the sunlight when they were participants in The Spectacles. Salomeel watched Barabbas in the shafts of white light that filtered down from the stone ceilings. He seemed placid, and yet, Salomeel dared not approach him. She was well aware of how quickly his calm could turn to rage at an instant. She knew her place, but her place was not to be the weaker vessel. She was Salomeel, the death bringer, the stalker in the shadows. She killed in the same cold manner in which she now watched Barabbas. Salomeel had not yet come to full season, but that time was approaching quickly. She was starting to feel the first stirrings of her need, her need to be pinned under the terrible bulk of Barabbas. Lemuel, ever watchful, sensed this need but sat quietly, biding his awful time. He had once approached Salomeel during her time of procreation and had paid a terrible price for it,
his eye gouged from his scull by Barabbas in a fit of jealous rage. And so they waited, sensing that if they did not eat soon, they would die.
They heard the footsteps first, then the rolling of the stone that covered their door. They listened for the usual high pitched sounds, but heard nothing. Then, the padding of footsteps as something descended the stone stairs. It was one of the soft ones, a male dressed in blue robes, possessing the facial hair that was so common to his kind. He stopped half way down the stairs and beheld the death that awaited him...and he smiled. Salomeel, Lemuel and Barabbas slowly raised to their feet as one. The soft one reached toward them with both hands open, causing Barabbas to rumble deeply in his throat. Salomeel awaited a sign from Barabbas, but none was forthcoming. This distressed her in a way that she could not explain. The soft one slowly walked down the stairs to the killing floor, still no signal, he crouched slowly to a sitting position, legs crossed beneath his blue robes. There was something in the way that this one moved that seemed to transfix the males. This one did not make the jerky fear movements that they knew so well. He seemed calm and unafraid, and this more than anything else perplexed Salomeel, Lemuel and most especially, Barabbas. The man's eyes, also held their mysteries. They were gifted with the luminance of one who had seen much, yet they were not without a touch of sadness, perhaps resignation also, but lo, they were free of fear.
For three days this was so. Their hunger was becoming unbearable, and yet, still no sign from Barabbas. Lemuel deemed that his time was quickly approaching.
He sensed confusion and reticence in Barabbas, and the yearnings of Salomeel as well. They listened as the man spoke softly, his hands outstretched, his upturned face bathed in a shaft of light. In the night hours, the man slept, protected in a soft radiant glow. He ate or drank not, as it seemed he had no need for such things. The keepers would return by day and after rolling away the stone, seemed amazed to hear that their prisoner was still possessed of life and voice. Salomeel could taste the fear in the men's voices. On the third day, Lemuel, raging with hunger and lust, went as to attack the soft one. As he did so, the cave was flooded by a braying sound that Salomeel recognized from The Spectacles. The cave was bathed in a scouring yellow light forcing Salomeel to turn her head. When she finally cast her green eyes skyward she beheld a figure gleaming with a faultless splendor. Barabbas and Lemuel, forgetting what sort of beasts they were, lay prone on the cave floor.
A stranger had come among them.... he had come with wings. Salomeel, Lemuel and Barabbas could not have known... this creature was Gabriel, the Archangel
of the Annunciation, the Messenger of Yahweh, the Herald of the Heavenly Hosts. Gabriel.The Prophet of Armageddon, the Seraph of The Book of Enoch, Mighty even among the Mightiest. He hovered above them, cloaked in the fiery radiance of redemption. Being immaculate creatures themselves, they sensed the terrible, stainless purity of this stranger. Gabriel gazed down upon them as a new Father might behold his first born, and though they understood it not, a peace came over them. They received a clarity of insight unknown to their kind and in receiving this righteous gift.... they laid low their shaggy heads. Gabriel then approached them one by one, and as he wrapped his healing wings round them, their hunger was no more. Gabriel gathered the soft one into his folds, and as they ascended, Salomeel heard a voice; a voice as clear as the summer winds that swept through the grasses of The Senegal.
It simply said, "Daniel"