As a nail inside my heart pricking

[Mohammad Ahmad]

As my chest likely was forgiving and relaxed
As a pigeon came happily when with wing flapped
As a nail pricks inside my heart with each breath
To remind me wherever I go
To remind me wherever I sit down
To remind me while I am eating
Alas! Her name is totally vanished
Ah! My fire entirely was extinguished
Which job is suitable when there is no permission?
Yes, I claimed that each destiny would be finished.
And each one's fate was hanged from his birth.
Therefore, we must forgive to our sins.
Therefore we must be forgivers and tolerant.
Since each step we walk, maybe not achieved.
And none of us anyway will wait his tomorrow.

[YesNo]

I liked the idea of having one's fate hanged from one's birth.

[Mohammad Ahmad]

I liked the idea of having one's fate hanged from one's birth.

Yes this is the point, yet it is not completed, I wrote additional verses but while I was trying the current internet to my home being corrupted, since then the page has been closed and the copy vanished.
Now I try on these:
Imagine me a tree needing me a shadow
Imagine me a rain failing upon a meadow
Then you are the angel to me a grave endow.
Mayst thou a rose thrive beside my shrub?
When night comes down shall it veil me up?

[Delta40]

I like this one. Since each step we walk, may not be achieved reads better and is a wonderful thought provoking line.

why not put the entire poem together in a reply box if you're having difficulties.

I wish I were a better critic!

[Mohammad Ahmad]

I like this one. Since each step we walk, may not be achieved reads better and is a wonderful thought provoking line.

why not put the entire poem together in a reply box if you're having difficulties.

I wish I were a better critic!
Thank you Delta again for your visiting and for your advice, indeed I need the instructions of any critic and I will not turn annoying at all but to be forever thankful.
Indeed the internet wasn't good yesterday and it is always so in Iraq, expensive and it doesn’t come more than 3 hours per a day and altogether it is bad.
Moreover, yesterday I didn’t prepare a separately copy but directly I sent it, then half of what I have added has been not saved in my topic and to believe me you can see that many times I edited my post.
Now I want you and other friends to evaluate the new one I shall post it this moment.