Biggus
10-12-2014, 05:46 AM
YOU ARE PASSED YOUR PRIME
You're not really old, though
You are passed your prime
But you’ve not been young
For a very, very long time
I WAS BULLIED VERY BADLY AT SCHOOL
I was bullied very badly at school
To it, my mind reluctantly returns,
I was hospitalized on one occasion
With full thickness Chinese burns
I’M NOT A CLOSET RACIST
I’m not a closet racist
I keep on telling her
Just because I dislike
The people of Narnia
WE WENT TO A POSH NEW RESTAURANT
We went to a posh new restaurant
And the food was really trash
When we saw the astronomical bill
We did the Dine and Dash
SLEAZY POLITICIANS APPEAR IN THE TABLOIDS
Sleazy politicians appear in the tabloids
As allegations are made afresh
But they all protest their innocence
Perhaps they were just pressing the flesh
ARE YOU WEARING SATIN KNICKERS?
Are you wearing satin knickers?
What a peculiar thing to say
Of course they are sat in
No one can stand up all day
WITH OLD AGE COMES WISDOM
With old age comes wisdom
Which is enlightening
And we learn to avoid
Things that maybe frightening
Like choosing candlelight
Instead of fluorescent lighting
THE GLASS CEILING HAS BEEN REMOVED
The glass ceiling has been removed
For the benefit of women everywhere
It’s a positive move long overdue
It was difficult to clean way up there
MY WIFE’S BEEN GIVING ME THE SILENT TREATMENT
My wife’s been giving me the silent treatment
Which I have enjoyed if truth to tell
But every silver lining has a cloud
When the silence was accompanied by a smell
NIGEL FARAGE
Love him or loath him, Nigel Farage
Is strangely charismatic
In fact he’s quite a colourful character
Which in truth is ironic
You're not really old, though
You are passed your prime
But you’ve not been young
For a very, very long time
I WAS BULLIED VERY BADLY AT SCHOOL
I was bullied very badly at school
To it, my mind reluctantly returns,
I was hospitalized on one occasion
With full thickness Chinese burns
I’M NOT A CLOSET RACIST
I’m not a closet racist
I keep on telling her
Just because I dislike
The people of Narnia
WE WENT TO A POSH NEW RESTAURANT
We went to a posh new restaurant
And the food was really trash
When we saw the astronomical bill
We did the Dine and Dash
SLEAZY POLITICIANS APPEAR IN THE TABLOIDS
Sleazy politicians appear in the tabloids
As allegations are made afresh
But they all protest their innocence
Perhaps they were just pressing the flesh
ARE YOU WEARING SATIN KNICKERS?
Are you wearing satin knickers?
What a peculiar thing to say
Of course they are sat in
No one can stand up all day
WITH OLD AGE COMES WISDOM
With old age comes wisdom
Which is enlightening
And we learn to avoid
Things that maybe frightening
Like choosing candlelight
Instead of fluorescent lighting
THE GLASS CEILING HAS BEEN REMOVED
The glass ceiling has been removed
For the benefit of women everywhere
It’s a positive move long overdue
It was difficult to clean way up there
MY WIFE’S BEEN GIVING ME THE SILENT TREATMENT
My wife’s been giving me the silent treatment
Which I have enjoyed if truth to tell
But every silver lining has a cloud
When the silence was accompanied by a smell
NIGEL FARAGE
Love him or loath him, Nigel Farage
Is strangely charismatic
In fact he’s quite a colourful character
Which in truth is ironic