remourse

[Jerrybaldy]

We masturbate
Then come and feel remorse
We drink and eat
A four course
Meal
And feel
Full.
And empty too
We laugh out loud
When lauging out loud
Is the last thing we want to do.
We pretend to fit
When we don't
Think we will try
When we won't
Connect by sex
Put this bit into that
Like a pussy
Pussy cat
Masturbate me
Make it real
With no remorse
Social intercourse
Call me big boy
You know it makes me feel good
And I should
Call you something back
But I'm having a panic attack.
Have you come yet?
I had a bet
With myself
That you would have
By half past ten
Yet I'm touching you there
Once again.
There's a sunset sun outside
Something special
That we haven't seen
There is a wet patch
That will take all night to dry
There is a remorse that will pass
As I swallow and say goodbye.

[Delta40]

This sounded almost Catholic yet so British at the same time.

Isn't it strange how even when you shed these social courtesies, you would still feel an outsider anyway.

Drop the sun from sunset sun

Wonderful bag of observations Jerry written sharply and darkly!

[DieterM]

For various reasons, these lines really "talked" to me, J. Chase my (Austrian, thus Catholic, thus guilt-ridden) upbringing, yet that darn remorse will always be there. Not overtly, oh no, my self-learned attitude wouldn't allow that. But sneakily, the way your narrator's remourse feels to me. Well written, wry & yes sharp's the word, Delta.

[Haunted]

Beautiful ending, romantic and real all at once.

[Hawkman]

Yes, JB, I'd have to agree that it is a sharp piece of writing. But whilst I'd agree with Haunted that the ending is beautiful, I'd qualify it by saying it's beautiful in the writing, not in the sentiment. The frequent references to onanism emphasise the emptiness of the encounter, the lack of connection, even though you say, "Connect by sex" there is no spiritual or emotional connection described in this piece. Merely the need of one fulfilled, and the implication that the mutual need of the other is not.

I must disagree with Delta over the sunset sun. This actually says more than saying it's sunset outside. The focus on the sun rather than the event of sunset, is highly descriptive of the object, and the nuance of a source of light, low, jaded, tired, speaks volumes. To me, the poem reads with as if sadness has reached critical mass. It's extraordinarily expressive and as Haunted says, its real.

Good one JB

Live and be well - H

[AuntShecky]

I like "sunset sun"-- distinguishes it from say, "morning sun" or "noonday sun." also-- it's alliterative!

As in your other poems, you are much braver than the likes of yours fooly in choice of subject matter. That's our JerryB--he boldly goes where no NitLetter went before.

Auntie

[Jerrybaldy]

Thank you Delta, Dieter, Haunted, Hawk and Auntie. I always appreciate your comments and I'm glad you enjoyed.
Cheers
JB

P.s I was a Catholic.

[AuntShecky]

P.s I was a Catholic.

Once a Catholic, always a Catholic, even an old sinner such as yours fooly.

Incidentally, I like your poem even more. Some profound thoughts here, such as eating a full-course dinner and feeling both full and empty.