Biggus
09-25-2014, 03:39 PM
MILESTONE 60 # 5
Wow you look good for your age
And it was hard for me to gauge
But what proves you are an old man
Is that you’re a Jim Reeves fan
MY SON HAD A EUREKA MOMENT
My son had a eureka moment
And I was quite impressed
He discovered that the volume knob
Could also turn to the left
WHERE DID I GET MY INTELLIGENCE?
“Dad, where did I get my intelligence?'
The young schoolboy asked his father
“Well son as I still have mine” he said
“You obviously got it from your mother”
THE EMERGENCY ROOM DOCTOR
The Emergency Room doctor said
“I don't like the look of your wife at all sir”
“Nor me” he agreed “But she can cook,
Do the decorating and the kids like her”
BIRTHDAY TELEGRAM
Bad news, Her Majesty isn't sending you
A telegram this year, but don’t despair
There is nothing to be concerned about
She's happy to know you're halfway there
AIRPORT AIRHEAD
Bimbette called the Airport and asked
“How long will it take to fly from London
To Athens?” The agent replied, “Just a minute”
“Thank you” Bimbette said and she was gone
AN OLD MAN GOES TO SEE A WIZARD
An old man goes to see a Wizard
To ask him to remove a curse
That had been on him forty years
The wizard said he was not averse
But he needed the words of the curse
To remove the cause of his strife
The man said I know them off by heart
“I now pronounce you man and wife”
THERE WAS A MURDER IN A NORFOLK VILLAGE
There was a murder in a Norfolk village
But the police are struggling to solve it
In fact they can’t even identify the body
Despite the corpse having an additional digit
The DNA matches everyone in the village
And dental records aren’t helping a bit
A MAN RECOVERING FROM SURGERY
A man recovering from surgery was asked
By the nurse “how are you feeling Mr Dukes?”
“I’m a little concerned about a four letter word
Uttered during the surgery by Doctor Proops”
“What exactly did he say?” asked the nurse.
The man went very pale and then said “Oops!”
FORTY IS THE OLD AGE OF YOUTH
Forty is the old age of youth
Which all sounds very sage
Whereas after another decade
Fifty is the youth of old age
Wow you look good for your age
And it was hard for me to gauge
But what proves you are an old man
Is that you’re a Jim Reeves fan
MY SON HAD A EUREKA MOMENT
My son had a eureka moment
And I was quite impressed
He discovered that the volume knob
Could also turn to the left
WHERE DID I GET MY INTELLIGENCE?
“Dad, where did I get my intelligence?'
The young schoolboy asked his father
“Well son as I still have mine” he said
“You obviously got it from your mother”
THE EMERGENCY ROOM DOCTOR
The Emergency Room doctor said
“I don't like the look of your wife at all sir”
“Nor me” he agreed “But she can cook,
Do the decorating and the kids like her”
BIRTHDAY TELEGRAM
Bad news, Her Majesty isn't sending you
A telegram this year, but don’t despair
There is nothing to be concerned about
She's happy to know you're halfway there
AIRPORT AIRHEAD
Bimbette called the Airport and asked
“How long will it take to fly from London
To Athens?” The agent replied, “Just a minute”
“Thank you” Bimbette said and she was gone
AN OLD MAN GOES TO SEE A WIZARD
An old man goes to see a Wizard
To ask him to remove a curse
That had been on him forty years
The wizard said he was not averse
But he needed the words of the curse
To remove the cause of his strife
The man said I know them off by heart
“I now pronounce you man and wife”
THERE WAS A MURDER IN A NORFOLK VILLAGE
There was a murder in a Norfolk village
But the police are struggling to solve it
In fact they can’t even identify the body
Despite the corpse having an additional digit
The DNA matches everyone in the village
And dental records aren’t helping a bit
A MAN RECOVERING FROM SURGERY
A man recovering from surgery was asked
By the nurse “how are you feeling Mr Dukes?”
“I’m a little concerned about a four letter word
Uttered during the surgery by Doctor Proops”
“What exactly did he say?” asked the nurse.
The man went very pale and then said “Oops!”
FORTY IS THE OLD AGE OF YOUTH
Forty is the old age of youth
Which all sounds very sage
Whereas after another decade
Fifty is the youth of old age