Fading

[Louie Acosta]

Cracked painted walls, fading photos and shattering picture frames embodied this home. They were once filled with beauty; painted walls were solidly colored, photos were lucid and clear, and the frames were in perfect conditions. As time passes, the people in the photos leave, one by one. It usually starts with the largest, and ends up with the smallest.But in this photo, no one left, but they all faded. They were all blurred, and each time something was said aloud, the frames would crack.

Day by day, water dripped through the photos, and each drop would wipe the colors off them. Until that last day, when the photos get ripped apart by being soaked too much, the walls get wrecked by the earth's drastic movement, and when the stains cause the paint to be dirtied, and eventually, the paint fades away.

- My personal essay.

[DATo]

I enjoyed your essay very much! In very few words you've managed to describe an enormous idea, delivered all-the-more powerfully and poignantly through the simplicity of the phrasing. Thank you for posting this!

In the movie, The Ghost and Mrs. Muir, (1947) a similar idea is represented by the aging of a seaside pier post over many decades.

Scattered pictures,
Of the smiles we left behind
Smiles we gave to one another
For the way we were. - Alan and Marilyn Bergman

[AuntShecky]

This reads like an outline rather than a finished work. It would help the reader to know what the original photos depicted, in order to get a "frame" of reference, especially if the aim of the work is emotional appeal. The writing could use more fleshing out with details, other than general descriptions of the size of the frames and the fact that they are fading.

Also, keep your verb tenses consistent.

[Louie Acosta]

I enjoyed your essay very much! In very few words you've managed to describe an enormous idea, delivered all-the-more powerfully and poignantly through the simplicity of the phrasing. Thank you for posting this!

In the movie, The Ghost and Mrs. Muir, (1947) a similar idea is represented by the aging of a seaside pier post over many decades.

Scattered pictures,
Of the smiles we left behind
Smiles we gave to one another
For the way we were. - Alan and Marilyn Bergman

Thank you! Although I think I need more improvements just as what AuntShecky has said. I love the flattery though. Kidding aside, I've never seen that movie. I want to try seeing it, but what is it about? Shouldn't be a horror movie right?

[Louie Acosta]

This reads like an outline rather than a finished work. It would help the reader to know what the original photos depicted, in order to get a "frame" of reference, especially if the aim of the work is emotional appeal. The writing could use more fleshing out with details, other than general descriptions of the size of the frames and the fact that they are fading.

Also, keep your verb tenses consistent.

So, maybe I should lengthen it a bit because it feels like, too brief? I apologize, because I'm a bit confused :confused5: . Regarding the details, I'll try focusing on them sometime. I think it'll take a bit of my time.

[Steven Hunley]

So, maybe I should lengthen it a bit because it feels like, too brief? I apologize, because I'm a bit confused :confused5: . Regarding the details, I'll try focusing on them sometime. I think it'll take a bit of my time.


It's an over-all arching theme you have going, about the ravages of time. ( I may be wrong, I'm often wrong) But consider, if I use the word trees, it conjures up no specific image. It means trees in a general way. It's a cardboard tree with no definite shape or color.

Some say this gives the reader an opportunity to imagine his or her own particular image of a tree. I'm not going for that. No Can Do.

But if your say Oaks or Palms or Deodars, they have many more associated images and shades of meaning.

By fleshing out details you add richness to the text. And it will take time. Not Russian Fat Novel War and Peace Time, but time. Good start.

[DATo]

Thank you! Although I think I need more improvements just as what AuntShecky has said. I love the flattery though. Kidding aside, I've never seen that movie. I want to try seeing it, but what is it about? Shouldn't be a horror movie right?

Louie,

The Ghost and Mrs. Muir is a lovely movie about a young widow with a small daughter who buys a seaside house that was custom built by a sea captain who has died at sea. The captain, who loves this house, returned to it after he died as a ghost and he tries to frighten her away because he doesn't want anyone else to live there, but she won't be driven off. She is frightened but she stands up to him. He is very crude and gruff and uses, shall we say, "salty" language. When he finally realizes that he can't get rid of her he tells her that he is going to use her to write a book of his sea experiences. She does so using a man's pen name, salty language and all (this takes place in Victorian times), and the book becomes enormously successful. The story spans decades and is both funny at times and quite poignant at others. There is much more to this story but I don't want to ruin it for you.

Pick it up, I promise you won't be disappointed. it is filmed in the old tradition of movie making in black and white and the story-telling itself is presented much like a Dickens tale. You will find the idea you presented in your story - fading - represented by a carving on a pier post in the movie.

EDIT: You can check it out here. Watch the trailer :

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0039420/

[AuntShecky]

I agree that The Ghost and Mrs. Muir is a fine movie, much better than its TV version, a so-so spin-off strarring Hope Lange. Remember that sit-com? (Good God, I'm old!)

I re-watched TGAMM recently on Turner Classics, back-to-back with Portrait of Jennie. Despite the presence of the
worthy Joseph Cotton, The Portrait of Jennie was a overblown piece of pretentious claptrap in which you knew the ending by the first reel. It only underscored how much better The Ghost and Mrs Muir is.