Marwood
09-10-2014, 10:45 PM
I've penned a few poems in my time. This is my most recent, and favourite, piece:
Ebbing, flowing, music through the night,
Wrapping round the objects in my sight,
Silencing their sounds and giving form
To solitude, serenity, ‘til dawn.
Notes are individual, alone,
Come together, make a tune; atone.
Melody harmonically aroused
To fill the void for which the Sun was doused.
Each note presents a human life in sound,
The high notes, those whose happiness is found;
The mid notes are the wanderers, alone
And searching for a place they can call home.
The low notes play for teardrops from the eyes,
A melancholic chorus with the cries
Of heartbreak and depression; they abound
In souls whose lives and dreams have run aground.
Placed together, notes will form a chord,
Happy, sad, and wanderers are called
To form composed cohesiveness, a tune;
The melody of life under the moon.
The thing is, I think the final line, 'The melody of life under the moon', doesn't work so well; it seems a little banal.
Any suggestions? Opinions welcome, too.
Ebbing, flowing, music through the night,
Wrapping round the objects in my sight,
Silencing their sounds and giving form
To solitude, serenity, ‘til dawn.
Notes are individual, alone,
Come together, make a tune; atone.
Melody harmonically aroused
To fill the void for which the Sun was doused.
Each note presents a human life in sound,
The high notes, those whose happiness is found;
The mid notes are the wanderers, alone
And searching for a place they can call home.
The low notes play for teardrops from the eyes,
A melancholic chorus with the cries
Of heartbreak and depression; they abound
In souls whose lives and dreams have run aground.
Placed together, notes will form a chord,
Happy, sad, and wanderers are called
To form composed cohesiveness, a tune;
The melody of life under the moon.
The thing is, I think the final line, 'The melody of life under the moon', doesn't work so well; it seems a little banal.
Any suggestions? Opinions welcome, too.