Why Do We Get Upset the Most Over People Who Are Not Worth It?

[SilentMute]

This drives me crazy. When I analyze my inner conflicts, I find I mull over things that really are not worth the effort. I give people I should just kick to the curb side in my thoughts too much of my time. Yet, I have nearly severed ties with people who were worth keeping--though fortunately I didn't.

I don't think I'm alone in this. I can't tell you how many times I've wondered why someone else was bothering getting upset over someone that I didn't think was worth the pain.

I have several theories.

1. These people are good at manipulating our insecurities, so it isn't really them we are upset over...but whatever insecurity is plaguing us (we're ugly, unlovable, weak, etc.)
2. Some of us may just be obsessive by nature.
3. Some of us are too committed to trying to make something work that can't. We don't follow the good advice, "The squeaky wheel doesn't always get the grease. Sometimes it gets replaced."

So, any thoughts?

[cacian]

it is a form of obsession we cannot let go because we don't know how to and so the end result is hurt.
I guess live and let go.

[Iain Sparrow]

Sometimes I think it's just the pace of modern life, and that most things are so temporary and shallow. I think we carry that sensibility over to relationships until it becomes our nature. And sometimes, it's nothing more than miscommunication and hurt feelings. Seems like we always know when our own feelings have been hurt and someone has wounded us, or had our heart broken... but I bet we'd be surprised to find out how many people we in turn have hurt?

[Puff]

Stop looking for the worst in people. Try to appreciate the good you find in them. Don't get hung up looking for 'love' it will come if you get your mind off it . Try instead to cultivate people who are older & more in need of a good friend. And remember if you want a good friend , be one . Try reading Kiplings poem IF. 'If neither foes or loving friends can hurt you, If all men count with you but none too much.

[SilentMute]

Well, it is interesting. The other day, I was reading a blog...and they were talking about why people can be influenced by cults to kill themselves. They said they found that the people are not necessarily people who had low intelligence or wanted to die. The one thing they did find as a common link is that the people felt dissatisfied with their life, and they thought the cult leader could provide it.

I think this could be a major part of it--that we look for other people to fulfill something that is really in our court.

[Puff]

Thats how religions hold sway over people , they can't think for themselves. They have to be told what to do & how to think. No wonder humans are often likened to sheep. We all get fed up with life at times , but then you talk it out , or hear a song or read something good & it lifts. All becomes easier if one has had a good home background & honest stable people that influenced ones early life. With most cult followers they seem to have low self-esteem or mental instability.