A Little Bit Of Humour # 99

[Biggus]

ARE YOU WEARING A PLEASANT LOOK?

Are you wearing a pleasant look?
It’s effecting me quite unnervingly
Clearly the fact that you’re smiling
Should on its own be scaring me

PICKUP # 14

When you’re on the pull
If you want to break the ice
Say something funny
Or say something nice
Be complimentary
Or just lie in your endeavour
Be devastatingly witty
Or say something clever
“Hey honey I can tell straight away
You’re from Tennessee?
And I know that because
You’re the only ten I see!”

YOU SHOULD BE MORE CAREFUL

You should be more careful
I’ve told you before
Sitting in candlelight
Makes you look like Skeletor

YOU HAVE A REALLY DAZZLING SMILE # 1

You have a really dazzling smile
But teeth shouldn’t be that white
That they act like a hi-vis vest
When you go out at night

THE CILLIT BANG GUY

The Cillit Bang guy is
Punting it out here and there
So is Barry Scott now
A soap scum millionaire

MY WIFE ASKED IF HER APPENDIX SCAR

My wife asked if her appendix scar
Made her look unattractive, a bit
I was quick to dispel any misgivings
She might have in regard to it
And uttered the reassuring words
"Don’t worry love, your tits cover it"

MILESTONE 70 # 1

If I'd realised I was going
To live beyond my sixties
I'd have taken better care
Of myself in the sixties

YOU HAVE A REALLY DAZZLING SMILE # 2

You have a really dazzling smile
But teeth shouldn’t be that white
Is it because you run them thru
The dishwasher at night

DON’T FRET ABOUT GETTING OLD

Don’t fret about getting old
Be philosophical instead
Age is really just a number
Old is only in your head

ARE YOU WEARING YOUR BIRTHDAY CLOTHES?

Are you wearing your birthday clothes?
Well if I might be so bold
Don’t just sit there
Do something old

[YesNo]

I particularly liked the pickup line using Tennessee and the one about taking better care of oneself in the sixties.

[AuntShecky]

In addition to providing some laughs, these lines remind yours fooly never to sit in the vicinity of candlelight.

And re: "Milestone 70 #1": A few years ago I read a factoid stating that people who had smoked marijuana back in the Sixties tend to age more gracefully than those who abstained. (NOW they tell me!)

Auntie

[Biggus]

Thank you both