A Little Bit Of Humour # 98

[Biggus]

ARE YOU WEARING A DUNCE’S CAP?

Are you wearing a dunce’s cap?
Of course that’s not inappropriate
I’m sorry to act surprised it’s my fault.
For a second I forgot you were an idiot

PICKUP # 13

When you’re on the pull
If you want to break the ice
Say something funny
Or say something nice
Be complimentary
Or just lie in your endeavour
Be devastatingly witty
Or say something clever
“Well Baby I don’t mind saying
The way you wear that frock,
That I'm no Fred Flintstone,
But I could make your Bedrock!”

THE BIG FIVE ZERO # 3

Happy fiftieth birthday
I’m sorry but it has to be said
If they were dog years
You’d already be dead

I’M QUITE A PHILOSOPHICAL PERSON

I’m quite a philosophical person
So I don’t get phased and accept what life gives
So I think Birthdays are good for you;
Because the more you have the longer you live

PLAYING "COLONEL BOGEY"

Playing "colonel bogey"
I hear the chimes call
Come get an ice cream
Come one and come all
Nothing says it quite like
"Hitler has only got one ball".

MULTITASKING MRS

If women are so good at Multitasking
And men’s failure to is such a crime
Why can’t my wife answer a question?
And watch Corrie at the same time

MY WIFE CAN MULTITASK

My wife can multitask
And here’s the reason and rhyme
She can only multitask
If she does one job at a time

ONE OF THE TEAMS AT THE OLYMPICS

One of the teams at the Olympics
Made a clean sweep good and proper
Taking the Gold, Silver and bronze
As well as all the lead and copper

DID YOU JUST FALL FROM HEAVEN?

“Did you just fall from heaven?”
He asked flattering her just a bit
Yes she replied “I fell from heaven
Then I landed on another soft ****?”

ARE YOU WEARING A MOOB TUBE?

Are you wearing a moob tube?
Well I can’t think what else it could be
Why would you be wearing a life belt?
When we’re seventy miles from the sea

[AuntShecky]

I don't know what "on the pull" means, but that Fred Flintstone line is hilarious.

[Biggus]

Thanks Aunty, "On the pull" is a coloquialism for picking up men/women

[YesNo]

I liked the one about Fred Flintstone the best as well. A runner up would have been multitasking by doing one job at a time.

[Biggus]

Thank you