Biggus
08-10-2014, 05:14 AM
ARE YOU WEARING VOMIT IN YOUR HAIR?
Are you wearing vomit in your hair?
I fear it is a look that won’t be diminished
I've learned that you can keep on vomiting
Long after you think that you're finished
ROSE HIT VIOLET
Rose hit Violet
Right in the kisser
He has a big mouth
So Rose couldn’t miss her
PICKUP # 12
When you’re on the pull
If you want to break the ice
Say something funny
Or say something nice
Be complimentary
Or just lie in your endeavour
Be devastatingly witty
Or say something clever
“Hey baby did you clean
Your pants with Glass Gem?
Because I can practically
See myself in them”
THE BIG FIVE ZERO # 2
At the age of fifty you're officially
Over the hill, but worse than that
You are partway down the other side
Sorry if that leaves you flat
IT'S NATURAL TO BECOME QUIETER AS WE AGE
It's natural to become quieter as we age
It’s just another old age sin
It’s not easy to talk at the same time
As holding your stomach in
ONLY LIE ABOUT YOUR AGE
Only lie about your age,
In the event of an emergency
For example when you are asked
How old you are sweetie
AT MY ADVANCED AGE
At my advanced age
I've seen it all
I've heard it all
And I’ve done it all
The only problem is
I can remember bugger all
INSIDE EVERY OLDER PERSON
Someone said to me that
Inside every older person
There is a young person.
But isn’t that cannibalism?
ARE YOU WEARING A SHROUD?
Are you wearing a shroud?
Well I think you should be
Because I think you look like
Death warmed up to me
THERE ARE ONLY TWO OPTIONS
There are only two options
In my personal view
So what do you want to do?
You can either continue
To get older or you can die
So stop feeling sorry for yourself
And enjoy your birthday do
THE GIRL WAS PIGEON CHESTED
The girl was pigeon chested
Which wasn't obvious to begin
But once I got her bra off
Both her nipples pointed in
COUGHS AND SNEEZES
Coughs and sneezes
Spread diseases
Colds and flu
And nasty wheezes
So protect against
Coughs and sneezes
There is one thing
That helps and eases
Have a smoke
To help the wheezes
Choose any brand
Pick one that pleases
So do not fear
Coughs and sneezes
Because smoking stops
Them spreading diseases
Are you wearing vomit in your hair?
I fear it is a look that won’t be diminished
I've learned that you can keep on vomiting
Long after you think that you're finished
ROSE HIT VIOLET
Rose hit Violet
Right in the kisser
He has a big mouth
So Rose couldn’t miss her
PICKUP # 12
When you’re on the pull
If you want to break the ice
Say something funny
Or say something nice
Be complimentary
Or just lie in your endeavour
Be devastatingly witty
Or say something clever
“Hey baby did you clean
Your pants with Glass Gem?
Because I can practically
See myself in them”
THE BIG FIVE ZERO # 2
At the age of fifty you're officially
Over the hill, but worse than that
You are partway down the other side
Sorry if that leaves you flat
IT'S NATURAL TO BECOME QUIETER AS WE AGE
It's natural to become quieter as we age
It’s just another old age sin
It’s not easy to talk at the same time
As holding your stomach in
ONLY LIE ABOUT YOUR AGE
Only lie about your age,
In the event of an emergency
For example when you are asked
How old you are sweetie
AT MY ADVANCED AGE
At my advanced age
I've seen it all
I've heard it all
And I’ve done it all
The only problem is
I can remember bugger all
INSIDE EVERY OLDER PERSON
Someone said to me that
Inside every older person
There is a young person.
But isn’t that cannibalism?
ARE YOU WEARING A SHROUD?
Are you wearing a shroud?
Well I think you should be
Because I think you look like
Death warmed up to me
THERE ARE ONLY TWO OPTIONS
There are only two options
In my personal view
So what do you want to do?
You can either continue
To get older or you can die
So stop feeling sorry for yourself
And enjoy your birthday do
THE GIRL WAS PIGEON CHESTED
The girl was pigeon chested
Which wasn't obvious to begin
But once I got her bra off
Both her nipples pointed in
COUGHS AND SNEEZES
Coughs and sneezes
Spread diseases
Colds and flu
And nasty wheezes
So protect against
Coughs and sneezes
There is one thing
That helps and eases
Have a smoke
To help the wheezes
Choose any brand
Pick one that pleases
So do not fear
Coughs and sneezes
Because smoking stops
Them spreading diseases