itzb84
08-05-2014, 02:32 PM
Sorry I am not trying to spam here, just wanting to get feedback for my young niece on a story she is working on.
The Dragon Thief: The Legend of the Dragons; Part 1
Have you ever wondered what’s out of this world? Well, you already have. Imagination, dreams, it all starts with you.
Jinx tip-toed into the cave, not knowing what she’ll find. Could the old man be lying? It got darker, then a flash of warm heat, red light. She found a torch and saw a ruby red dragon with eggs all around it. 10 to be exact. Yet this giant dragon didn’t scare her. Waves of courage washed over her. The dragon, sleeping soundly. She thought for a second. She studied dragons all her life, and this day, this moment, she found one. The ruby dragon shimmered in the light of Jinx’s torch. She tip-toed around, to the back of the sleeping, shimmering dragon and snatched an egg, and ran. She ran faster then the speed of light. Faster then she ever imagined she could. she stopped, the egg rumbled, shook, cracked. At that moment Jinx witnessed the birth, and the beginning of a new life. A dragling so small and delicate. Jinx smiled, it was everything she wanted. She started running again. She had to get away from the cave before it became morning. If the sun rose, the sky would turn bright blue, and a dragon could spot a thief a mile away. she could take the river, yet no boat. she could take the road, yet it would take too long. So she took the best route, the mountains. She knew them like the back of her hand. She stopped frozen in place. someone was behind her. Or something…
Will you continuing reading?
www.teacupdragon.com
Please leave comments, words of inspirations.
Thank you for you time.
The Dragon Thief: The Legend of the Dragons; Part 1
Have you ever wondered what’s out of this world? Well, you already have. Imagination, dreams, it all starts with you.
Jinx tip-toed into the cave, not knowing what she’ll find. Could the old man be lying? It got darker, then a flash of warm heat, red light. She found a torch and saw a ruby red dragon with eggs all around it. 10 to be exact. Yet this giant dragon didn’t scare her. Waves of courage washed over her. The dragon, sleeping soundly. She thought for a second. She studied dragons all her life, and this day, this moment, she found one. The ruby dragon shimmered in the light of Jinx’s torch. She tip-toed around, to the back of the sleeping, shimmering dragon and snatched an egg, and ran. She ran faster then the speed of light. Faster then she ever imagined she could. she stopped, the egg rumbled, shook, cracked. At that moment Jinx witnessed the birth, and the beginning of a new life. A dragling so small and delicate. Jinx smiled, it was everything she wanted. She started running again. She had to get away from the cave before it became morning. If the sun rose, the sky would turn bright blue, and a dragon could spot a thief a mile away. she could take the river, yet no boat. she could take the road, yet it would take too long. So she took the best route, the mountains. She knew them like the back of her hand. She stopped frozen in place. someone was behind her. Or something…
Will you continuing reading?
www.teacupdragon.com
Please leave comments, words of inspirations.
Thank you for you time.